Karma's Hand
by MommaKristine
Summary: Castle has a Karma problem that he hopes Beckett can help him solve. Reluctantly, she agrees, but will the secret mission they embark on change more than just Castle's bad luck? J.R. Challenge fic. A little light fun for a change. ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, which is a good, because I would have run out of great ideas a long time ago.

_**Karma's Hand**_

Chapter One

To say Kate Beckett was surprised to walk into work that morning would be an understatement. She knew that her team was faced with the seemingly endless stacks of paperwork that accompanied the events surrounding the end of their last case. Having to document the discharge of her weapon was always something that took twice as long as the rest of the paperwork on a case.

These were the days that her ever-present shadow found it best to stroll in around lunch time instead of anything resembling the morning hours, if he even came in at all. As if to prove his own pattern wrong, though she hadn't realized it was one until just now, Richard Castle was already seated in his chair beside her desk.

He was always a little more mobile than most. She wasn't going to put him backwards to when they were still getting to know each other and she had classified him as a puppy chasing its tail, he had learned a little self-control over the years. Still, he had a hard time sitting still. As she approached, she could tell this was going to be one of the more active days as he seemed to vibrate with some kind of internal pulse.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she took her seat and nodded her appreciation for the coffee she hadn't been expecting on her desk.

"I work here." He responded immediately, but with a shrug added, "Sort of."

She knew that there was no need for her to ask again; the look she leveled on him was usually more than enough to get him to cave, so she waited him out.

It only took a few seconds for a sigh to escape his lips, "I need help." He finally responded, sounding a bit dejected.

She almost laughed, but managed to contain it with a small smirk, "Tell me something I don't know, Castle."

"I'm serious." He whined with a little pout marring the line of his lips that she, unfortunately, found adorable.

Interested in shaking that thought, she focused on her response, "Well, there's a first time for everything." She responded flippantly as she arranged things on her desk in preparation for a day that would undoubtedly leave her hand slightly cramped from repeatedly signing her name and filling out boxes that were always too small for everything she needed to put in them.

"Ok, fine, I get it." his pout was gone, replaced with a mild irritated expression that she could tell he didn't mean. "Never mind. Whatever, it's fine." he said as he braced his hands on the armrests of his chair as if he were going to get up. It was the look of hurt hiding behind the mask of frustration that got to her

Her hand on his sleeve stopped him before he actually started to stand, but as soon as she knew he wasn't going anywhere she quickly withdrew from the firm warmth beneath soft fabric. "What can I do to help?"

"It's Alexis." He said as an intro and instantly she tuned more fully into him as his agitation and impatience began to make sense. She waited for him to elaborate, wondering what bit of parenting he'd ask her opinion on this time.

It hadn't escaped her notice that he always seemed to be asking for advice from her, someone that didn't have any kids. The thought had never stopped her willingness to help him work through a problem. She figured it was just the need for a female opinion, but didn't downplay these brief glimpses of 'Papa Castle'.

"I'm really bad at these things." He finally said, hanging his head just a little as he looked away from her with something akin to shame in his features.

"Hey," she called his attention back to her softly, sensing his unease with whatever was on his mind, "Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a good father, Castle."

There was a smile playing on his lips almost instantly and she watched him appear to contemplate a response, from the glint in his eyes she knew she wouldn't like whatever it was. However, almost as quickly as it came up it was gone, he buried it before finally speaking, "I know, 'World's Greatest Dad', I have the mug to prove it. It's just this one thing I've failed at for so long and I don't want to let her down again."

"It can't be that bad." She replied, but he fixed her with an expression that clearly told her she had no idea. "I can't help unless you explain what the problem is."

"So you'll help me?" his hopeful expression had her rolling her eyes at him.

Beckett shook her head, "I didn't say that." She gave him a look that she hoped projected to him that she wasn't born yesterday, "For all I know, you're trying to talk her into vacationing in Australia and my agreement to help would end with you assuming I was flying halfway across the world with you. Nope, Castle, not falling for that one."

"As tempting as that is," he threw in a little waggle of his eyebrows, though she could tell his heart wasn't in the gesture, "it wouldn't solve the problem."

Beckett simply nodded for him to go on and watched as he seemed to gather his thoughts.

"It all started when she was five," He explained, his tone solemn. "As so many things do, it started simply enough. Her name was Koko, she was a clown. Poor little Alexis thought she more closely resembled a serial killer than a fun loving circus performer."

Kate had to turn to her stack of files to keep from laughing as he started to explain in earnest the various ways he had managed to mess up his daughter's birthday over more than a decade. He told tale after tale from cake-tastrophes to food poisoning to party faux pas that would make for great comedy on some episodic television show about a family.

She had to split her focus with the work in front of her in order to keep a straight face. It seemed that no matter what he did, something came up every year that would ruin the day for Alexis. She really didn't want to laugh, but was finding it harder than ever to keep a straight face as he tried to explain his attempt to evade the problem the year before.

"I thought the curse of horrible birthdays couldn't possibly follow us out of the country." He scoffed.

"I'm guessing the 'curse'," she made air quotes as she repeated his word choice with humor, "caught up with you?" she asked. Though the answer was obvious, she was waiting for the story.

"Worst one yet, like we were being punished for trying to flee." He shook his head in frustration, "Our plane had to make an emergency landing due to the weather and we spent three days snowed in at an airport, breathing the recirculated air and sleeping on the floor. They lost our luggage and if all that wasn't bad enough, by the time we got out Alexis was so sick that she ended up spending the rest of our trip in a hotel room with a hundred plus fever and her head in the toilet."

Beckett couldn't help needling him, "Castle, if you're cursed, I don't know if there's anything I can do to help. Not to mention that I probably shouldn't risk it rubbing off on me."

"Come on, Beckett." He pleaded. "I don't know what I did to deserve something like this to befall my family, but whatever it is I know it won't try anything if you're in on it."

"So, you think your bad karma will be offset by my good?" she asked incredulously.

He gave a shrug, his palms rising open and directed up in a supplicating gesture as he graced her with a sheepish smile, "It couldn't hurt?" he offered, though the way he phrased it as a question left her doubting the truth behind the statement.

"It better not." She supplied with a warning clear in her tone.

His grin was instant. "So you'll help me?" Castle's excitement was contagious, but she swept the feelings under a reflexive eye roll.

"What makes you think I want to use all my good karma to make up for whatever crappy things you did to bring this on yourself?" she asked with a lilt in her voice, finally taking her eyes off the paperwork that was going much faster than she had anticipated. Perhaps, it was just easier to go through the monotony of it all with some light entertainment on the side.

She had been ready to fix him with a glare as if the suggestion that she would even help him was ludicrous, but when she looked up he was pouting again. Damn him.

"It's not for me." He pointed out quietly. "It's for Alexis."

She wondered if he knew that was the trump card he hadn't needed to play. It was a phrase that would apparently always work on her. She wouldn't be able to explain why if she were asked; the knowledge was for her and only her. It wasn't pity or even empathy for the teen who was struggling through teenage years without a mom the way Kate had from age nineteen. It was more than that and less than that at the same time. As she thought on the subject, Beckett realized that it was probably good no one had asked her, because she couldn't even put it into words for her own thoughts.

"Fine, I'll help you." She responded with a sigh that spoke of someone who had just had the weight of the world put upon their shoulders. She followed the sound with a quirk of her lips that had him grinning at her like a mad man.

"Thank you. Thank you." He repeated quickly and she turned back to work as relief seemed to wash over him.

It was hours later, as Beckett was finishing her paperwork and Castle was typing out his name to confirm his new high score in Bejeweled on his phone, that he casually asked, "Anything fun planned for after work?"

She shrugged as she signed the statement she had just printed out on the events surrounding her use of her firearm in the line of duty. "Not really. Probably just curl up with a book, despite how little I've moved around today, paperwork is exhausting. You?"

He stood out of his chair quickly, grabbing his jacket off the back of the seat in the same motion. "I'll be by at seven." He said, casting her a quick smile that displayed an attitude that was a far cry from the mood he had been in a few short hours ago.

He didn't wait for a response and turned to head out, slipping on his jacket as he went. It took her a moment of staring after his retreat for her to register what he meant by his comment. She almost hollered her belated response after him, but her eyes instantly fell on all the other detectives seated between her desk and his purposeful strides towards the elevator.

She sighed, not interested in making a scene and pulled out her phone. Kate typed out a quick message to him that her revelation that she didn't have plans was not an invitation for him to make plans for her.

He pulled the phone out of his pocket as he boarded the lift and she watched him smile. As his eyes came up to meet hers, he rolled them before the doors closed him inside.

It wasn't more than a few seconds later that her phone buzzed from its position still in her hand. It was a message from Castle that she didn't want to read.

She hit 'open' anyway.

'You said you'd help. See you at 7 for brainstorming. I'll bring dinner.' It read and she groaned. Tossing her phone back to her desktop, she ducked her head back to the work at hand, unwilling to dwell on her urge to respond.

She had listened to him tell all those stories and the one common element had been Castle and his ability to over think a situation. She was fairly confident that if she put her focus on distracting him the day of the event then whatever they planned would go off without a hitch. Still, she didn't like the thought of spending so much time with him while he was in such a worried state. He was likely to be unbearably annoying throughout the process. She began to wonder why she had said yes in the first place, but the image of the dejected look on his face was enough to remind her.

Beckett knew she was going to regret agreeing to help him, she just had no idea that it would be quite so soon.

x.x.x

A/N: This is the only warning you'll get for the duration of the story: This is starting with an absolutely ridiculous and silly premise. It will likely continue in that direction as a way to alleviate any stress my more serious stories might put me through. I've taken this on through a challenge and plan to do what I can with what I was given.

I was not provided a plot, but a song and some imagery to include. Initially, I was dumbfounded as to how to keep this even remotely in character, but I think I've got it figured out. I will divulge the song/imagery I was given as it comes up in the story so as to retain a little bit of mystery.

As that was your only warning, don't cry to me if there is any or none of the following: Gore, sex, violence, silliness, strong language, fluff, angst, insanity, and/or divergence into the land of the ridiculously implausible.

This will be my escape fic and I'm hoping my drama and angst stories are better for having this more upbeat and quirky outlet. This is not based on any episode, though I'm claiming writer's rights to pull in references to any episode that has aired thus far if I need them.

That being said, I doubt that this will have any spoilers at all, because it's just a random little happy piece to keep my sanity levels in check as I write stories that sometimes leave me feeling depressed, sad, or generally negative. Also, I'm not sure how often I'll update because this is not going to be my primary focus, but I'll do my best to keep this current.

Ok, so this will be a very different story for me, stretching that writer's muscle again. Hopefully I can do a lighter genre a little justice. Let's all find out together.

Holy Crap that was a long note!

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

True to his word, Beckett heard a knock on her door a couple of minutes before seven. With a groan at the mess she had likely gotten herself into, she moved to answer it. Out of habit she peeked through the peep hole, just in case, and couldn't help the smile at what was on the other side of her door.

She opened the door and let out a small chuckle as he bobbled the items in his hands. In one hand he held a bag that seemed to have Styrofoam take out containers, on which were balanced two drinks that, if she wasn't mistaken, were milkshakes. He was definitely trying to butter her up if that's what was in those cups.

His other hand was grasping the handles of two canvas bags and what was probably his laptop case and under that arm was a file folder stuffed full of paper. He looked like he was going to drop something at any moment, but she didn't move to help him.

Beckett stepped to the side so he could make his way in. He just gave her a small smile as he carefully made his way towards the coffee table in her living room. She watched as one of the cups teetered precariously before he balanced it again and seemed to slow his pace in an effort to prevent that from happening again.

"You spill that in my house and you're going to be sorry." She informed him as he started carefully setting things down. First the canvas and laptop bags on a chair as he passed, then he carefully slid the takeout onto the low table top, stooping cautiously. Finally, he grabbed the file folder from under his arm and slapped it loudly onto her coffee table. He started to shake and wave his arms around as if they had fallen asleep.

"Somehow I always forget how incredibly uncomfortable things get when you hold your arms in one position too long while you're carrying something." He explained with a sheepish look on his face as if he expected a lecture. She couldn't bring herself to do that when she carried more than she should all the time, just to prevent a second trip all the way back outside.

Another couple of shakes of his arms and he was reaching down to grab one of the cups. He presented it to her with two hands as if it were a prized idol of some lost civilization or some such priceless artifact. "Prepare yourself for one of the great discoveries of our time." he told her with excitement in his voice.

The tone instantly set her on edge as she took the drink and tried to see through the opaque white lid. It was thick and brown, that much was all she could make out. "Chocolate shake?" she asked.

"Oh, no, Detective," his eyes sparkled with glee as he spoke, "It is so much more than a chocolate shake."

Suddenly wary, she tried to pass the cup back to him and he looked at her with confusion as he opened his palms flat refusing to take it back, "If this is your attempt at getting me to try jalapeno ice cream, consider yourself warned. There will be consequences."

"You really have no faith in me." he responded, but his tone was laced heavily with humor as he reached out for his own cup. Castle took a long slow pull of the thick drink through his wide straw before setting it to the side as he started to get out the containers of food.

She looked at what he was laying out and then disappeared into the kitchen, returning a moment later with some silverware and napkins. "I don't trust your taste buds sometimes, that's all." she told him as she came back to pull up a spot on the floor beside him.

With their backs to the couch and the height of the table, they were comfortable for dining, but still her drink sat there untested. She was curious, but still wary. "Oh, that smells amazing." She commented as she got a full, heady, breath of the lasagna.

"Wait until you taste it." he responded, lifting a bite out of his own container. She watched as the cheese clung, stretching between his fork and plate in a long white ribbon, growing increasingly thinner until it finally snapped, cheese pooling back on his plate and dangling off his fork. He moved the bite to his mouth and savored it, chewing slowly with his eyes closed and he was making a soft humming sound in the back of his throat.

She wondered if he realized how incredibly sensual the act was when mixed with that throaty sound of pleasure. Shaking the thought off, she took a hasty bite herself. Once the pasta hit her tongue, however, she felt her own eyes slide shut as she savored the tastes and textures mingling perfectly in her mouth. She let out as soft "Oh," that sounded like a moan in her head as her eyes opened again.

She found him staring at her with a look in his eyes that told her that it had in fact sounded like a moan to him as well. His reaction probably mirroring her own from a moment before. Trying to avoid letting her thoughts run away with her, she reached for the drink and took a sip. It was thick and took a moment for her to pull up the straw and into her mouth.

As she felt the cold hit her tongue, she smiled. "Coffee?" she asked. "That's the 'so much more' you were talking about?"

She almost laughed at the triumphant little grin on his face, "It's like drinking heaven." he explained. "Alexis brought me one a few weeks ago and I've been dying for an excuse to break tradition and bring you one."

"You could have done that anytime this week, no complaints from me." she said, taking another slow drink and letting the thick frozen treat melt on her tongue a moment before swallowing it. "That has got to be a whole trip to the gym all by itself, though."

"I know, isn't it great?" that boyish smile and excited tone were back again and she had to admit, this wasn't going as poorly as she assumed it would when he invited himself over.

"It's almost like a Frappuccino." She said and then watched a look of horror cross his face. "What?"

"Bite your tongue." he replied, anger in his tone, humor in his eyes. "This is _not_ a Frappuccino." With a shake of his head, he explained, "Frappuccino is a drink that's made with crushed ice and usually powdered drink flavoring or chocolate sauce, all mixed together in a blender. This marvel of the culinary world is almost entirely chocolate milk that is slow frozen with the coffee and sugar already in it."

"My apologies to the culinary gods, then." she smirked and he smiled back, accepting her apology on behalf of those gods with a nod.

They finished their meal in small talk as Castle described finding this little coffee shop and making it their new regular place. She was amused that he said 'their' when he always just showed up with her coffee and it hadn't really mattered to her where it came from.

As she moved to clear away the mess after they were finished, Castle gestured her away from the task. He slid his leftover lasagna into her tray, added in the last two breadsticks and popped the lid closed as he stood and gathered the remnants.

Technically, he was a guest in her house, but as he had invited himself over, Beckett decided not to protest his efforts. Instead she moved up to sit on the couch, cradling her almost untouched frozen coffee in her hands as she watched him move through her kitchen.

He came back into the living room a few moments later and grabbed his laptop bag before settling into a seat near her on the couch. "You better not let that food grow legs and wander out of there." he said as he pulled the computer out of its case and started booting it up.

"There is very little chance of that." she responded, "It may end up being breakfast in the morning. That was amazing, where did you go?"

He shrugged, avoiding the question as he typed in his password and started to pull up an internet browser.

"Oh," she said, "is it one of those places you're not going to tell me about because I can't afford the price tag? Because you better just spill; that was worth whatever price was on it."

"Nothing like that." he assured her. "It's about four dollars a serving." He explained and she cocked her head to the side, waiting for him to acknowledge the silent question, "It's a Castle special." He finally said, his eyes not diverting from the screen as he started typing in a search engine. "I can leave you the recipe."

She decided to let the thought of him cooking dinner for her slide right past both of them. "So, what's the plan?"

His sigh was heavy, the lightness of earlier gone in an instant, "I don't have a plan, just a bunch of scattered ideas and thoughts."

"No clowns?" she asked, receiving the pursed lip, squinted eyes, half glare she had been shooting for. "What's all this, then?" she asked as she reached out and slid the manila folder towards herself.

"Those would be my scattered thoughts." he responded.

She went through the large stack of printouts, flyers, booklets, leaflets, pamphlets, catering menus, and whatever else was in this mess of a folder. By the time she was done she had organized each into a pile based on the type of information it contained. There were piles for food, entertainment, venues and activities, though looking through them had pointed out that very little would likely be useful.

"This isn't working." she told him, reaching over and shutting his laptop. He just managed to get his fingers out of the way before the lid gave a quiet click as it latched. "Plan B." she explained, clearing the materials into piles on the floor and pushing his laptop into his hands so that the table was bare.

"What's plan B?"

She gave him a look that told him to just trust her and then got up to grab a tablet of paper and something to write with. Returning to her seat, a little close to him this time so they could look over the same sheet of paper, she wrote 'Alexis' in the middle of the page and circled it before drawing lines out from the center and giving each a category. They would then be able to structure their knowledge about Alexis into the one of the categories and come up with sub-groups if they needed to. "You're thinking too much about this being a party type of party and not enough about making it simple and practical."

He nodded, though she could see the thought of not going all out for his daughter was taking a toll on him as he fidgeted in his seat a moment.

"We have to go about this differently. It's the old adage about insanity." He nodded, but she could see he wasn't sold, so she continued, "If we stop focusing on the details and just brainstorm a little about Alexis, maybe we'll come up with a theme we can work around. Something that's perfect for her."

She watched him settle and still in his seat as it sank in, "You're right. I asked for your input and I'm going to go with the flow this time. Perhaps the less involved I am the better it will be for her."

He seemed almost sad at the thought; she was quick to reassure him with an admonishment, "Don't even think about it. You're in this as much as I am; you're not shirking this off on me."

He smiled, "I wouldn't dream of it. Where do we start?"

She explained her thought on compiling information about Alexis until they had a clear picture to draw a starting point from. This set Castle off on a volley of points as he listed the things Alexis liked.

At first, her pen had a hard time keeping up, but as he continued to explain the various facets of Alexis Castle the stories got longer with each example she needed to write down. She felt relaxed in this task, more comfortable than she had originally expected. She attributed it to that little extra light he always got in his eyes when he talked about his daughter.

Pride and love shone through him, bright as day, and his smile was warm as he remembered things from his time with his daughter. It was a side of him he didn't show very often, perhaps because it didn't come up much at work or maybe he was hording those memories and thoughts. Tonight, however, he let them all out in the open. One story seemed to lead to another and before she knew it they had a three page web of Alexis laid out on her coffee table.

He had taken over the writing halfway through and she was slightly surprised at how well he could write while explaining the details behind putting an item on the list. His last story faded, something about how many times Alexis had begged for a pony before he caved and bought them a couple horses that were housed at a nice ranch in upstate New York. Alexis loved to ride, had even got into competitive roping for a while, but had to give it up when it took too much of her time from studying and her other activities.

"I used to love going riding." Beckett filled the brief silence. His little nod with a hint of a smile was his silent request for the story behind her statement. Nervousness warred with the sadness of those thoughts and she felt the fond smile fall from her face. "Mom used to take me once or twice a year. Dad never liked horses." she transitioned easily enough away from the harder things to think about and on to a safer topic, something more fitting the light and humorous night they had been having. "He said he couldn't get past the smell of them, but I think at least part of it was the idea of being on something that big that didn't have a motor in it. Or a brake pedal."

Castle laughed at that, "Yeah, my first reaction was a big fat 'Oh, Hell no!', but Alexis was persistent and I'm a sucker for her big blue eyes." He smiled wistfully, "Some of my fondest memories are of taking a ride on a trail and having a picnic. There's this waterfall a few miles down from the ranch that is beautiful and lush. The water is freezing, being run off from the mountains, but we still go swimming. Then we have lunch on this huge flat boulder that is amazing for sunning after the frigid water."

Kate could picture the scene easily; a young Alexis wading slowly into the cold water, Castle jumping in with a gleeful holler and splashing her mercilessly with a cannon ball. Lush green woods, the sound of the water falling, she could almost feel the sun heated rock under her. "It sounds wonderful." she said before she could stop herself.

He didn't have a response, and when she turned towards him he was looking at her with a curious expression on his face. She couldn't place it, but he leaned forward in the seat, bracing his arms across his knees and looking at her with the quiet thoughtful expression he sometimes got. "You should come with us."

"What?" she was only slightly confused, she knew what he was asking, but it seemed an odd request.

"I'm serious." he said, obviously realizing she knew what his request meant but wasn't accepting of it. "It would be fun. Get out of the city for a while, reconnect with nature? Alexis would love it."

"I don't know, Castle." she responded, but she did know. It would be fun, things with him usually were, but she wasn't looking to make things more complicated than they already were. A horseback ride leading to a picnic in a private wooded setting was not a way to keep things from getting more confusing.

"I'm serious, Kate." Oh man, he was breaking out that earnest tone and her first name, pulling the big guns out for this. "We can call it research on our project to gain Intel for this plan we're hatching?" he suggested, his tone was light, but his eyes burned with something that she was sure was determination. She wouldn't hear the end of this.

"I wouldn't want to impose." she finally responded.

When he smiled, she realized that hadn't been the right choice of words. "You wouldn't be. Not at all." He grinned as if she had said yes.

As she replayed it in her head, her reasoning for not going being imposition on their family moment which he had brushed off, on some level she had agreed. She almost groaned at that knowledge, but reassured herself that she'd find a way to back out of that when and _if_ the time came.

x.x.x

A/N: My daughter went to my sister's house to watch the Justin Beiber movie with her girl cousins and left me alone at home to work in the middle of the day. It's like free writing time… between chores, of course, but it's laundry day so there's a lot of down time. So, while I posted a chapter on my main fic today, I was also able to get this done.

Review that made my day: **lisahoo1**, cracked me up. It reminded me of family vacations. Yes we're going for a ride. Where we're going is a surprise, but sure we can get some ice cream along the way. I'll take that into account in a future chapter just for you.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Castle was whistling quietly as he walked through the door of his loft that night. It was after ten, so he was actually surprised to find Alexis at the kitchen table eating an apple and looking through one of her text books.

Her attention to studying was obviously interrupted by his entry and she gave him a curious look, "Do I even want to ask why you're so happy?"

Castle shrugged, racking his brain for an excuse. He couldn't tell her that he'd had a good time planning her surprise birthday party with Beckett. Even though that was one of the first things that came to mind and he almost voiced it. Perhaps, he thought, that was exactly why he'd never been able to surprise her before. He was too impatient.

This time, however, he would bite his tongue. There was more than just him involved and he didn't want Beckett to have an excuse to back out of helping him. The night had been too much fun to pass up repeating. He so rarely got to see a side of her that was so relaxed and casual. It was as if planning his daughter's party had her setting aside all the horrors they faced every day and living in the moment. And it was a good moment.

"Hmm?" he asked, an attempt to stall that had Alexis shaking her head at him.

"Never mind." She replied, obviously thinking he was probably out doing something that she would be emotionally scarred if she had to hear about.

Castle couldn't see that train of thought stopping at any destination that was worth visiting and just then his mind flashed back to a little while before he and Beckett had called it a night. "I may have gotten a certain detective to possibly agree to go up to the ranch with us sometime." he explained.

Alexis' grin was instant, as was the surprise in her eyes, "Seriously? Detective Beckett rides?"

"Apparently." Castle responded. He mirrored her smile as he snatched the apple out of her hand and took a bite. Slipping the chunk of fruit to the side of his mouth he asked around it, "What are you still doing up?"

She grabbed her apple back from his hands with a glare, but her eyes were smiling at him. "AP English exam tomorrow. Just got carried away studying, I need to get to bed." She closed up her book and got up, giving him a kiss on the cheek before disappearing up the stairs.

Feeling surprisingly tired, he followed his daughter's lead and headed off to his bedroom. However, once there he found that being tired and actually being able to quiet the thoughts in his head long enough for sleep to take him were two very separate things.

After half an hour of unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep, Castle threw his covers off him with a frustrated grumble and padded barefoot into his attached office. He was back in bed shortly after, but this time the glow of his laptop lit the room.

He woke to a serious twinge in his neck from having slept against the headboard with his laptop propped on his knees. He hated that he could be completely unable to sleep when he was in bed and then he'd give up and as soon as he started making serious progress his eyes couldn't stay open.

He hated it even more every year he got older as the uncomfortable positions he woke in caused his muscles to scream at him in admonishment. Closing the lid on his computer, he decided the first order of business was a hot shower that would hopefully work the kinks out.

He was feeling much better as he made his way out to face the world a little before seven that morning. He wondered how he had gone from not being able to sleep after midnight to up and feeling actually rested less than six hours later. Shrugging it off he decided since he was up, he may as well get his day started, and he could think of no better way than getting breakfast started for his favorite girl.

Alexis came downstairs just as he finished chopping some cantaloupe to add into the bowl of fruit he had been working on. Her head was down as she typed out a message on her phone, smiling.

She finished whatever she'd been typing and looked up, surprised to find him hovering in the kitchen. "What are you doing up so early?"

He gestured towards her with the knife in his hand and a poorly faked look of outrage, "Hey, I'm up this early all the time." he defended as he contemplated adding a banana and dismissed the thought. He jabbed a fork into the bowl and slid it across the counter to her.

"Sorry, let me amend that." she responded as she took a seat at the counter and examined the bowl of bite sized fruits with a small smile, "What are you doing in the kitchen so early? Seeing as the only time you're up this time of day you're usually in a hurry to get out to a crime scene or something."

"Woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep." Castle shrugged, "You want some toast with that?"

Alexis shook her head just as her phone buzzed on the counter. She swiped it up quickly, dropping the fork in her dish as she frowned at the screen a moment before her fingers were moving quickly to respond.

Once she finished and put the phone down again, she still looked like she might be bothered by something or sad. "Something wrong, Pumpkin?" he asked, bracing for the potential that in her land of teenage life and dating he might not want to hear the answer to his question.

"Yeah, everything's good." She responded, going back to her breakfast. It was only one bite in before her phone buzzed again and she picked it up. She was smiling again when she put it down this time.

He shook his head, must have been some kind of misunderstanding or scheduling conflict. She really didn't let much get to her. "Maybe we should have a rule about cell phones during meals." he mentioned casually, taking a bite of honeydew melon.

"Right, Dad," she gave him a look that worked surprisingly well with her sarcasm, "Because I'm usually the one getting calls while we're eating."

Castle returned her smile a little sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders in an apologetic fashion as he worked to finish the bite in his mouth to respond. Murder had interrupted many a dinner at the Castle household in the past few years. "There's that, and the fact that it's a little late to try and start instituting new rules."

"Speaking of doing 'new' things." Alexis responded, ducking her head as she shifted the last pieces of fruit around in the bottom of her bowl.

His heart rate sky rocketed instantly, hoping that whatever was about to come out of her mouth next wasn't about Ashley. He and Alexis might have a strange and relaxed kind of parent/child relationship, but having a conversation that started 'speaking of new thing' about her and her boyfriend was out of the question if he wanted to maintain his sanity.

She didn't meet his eyes and he felt that nervousness ratchet up just a bit. "I was thinking about not going to the Hamptons again this year." The words came out of her mouth in a rush as if she was worried about what his potential reaction might be.

Initially all he felt was an overwhelming sweet sense of relief. It lasted for all of a few seconds before what she'd told him sank in.

"But it's the last Memorial Day we'll have together before you grow up and run away from home." he kept the joking tone in his voice in an attempt to mask the disappointment he was feeling. It was their weekend. The one they had a tradition of spending together, every year except the last and now this one.

Next year she'd be at Stanford all the way across the country. The end of their time together was becoming more apparent every day.

He didn't know what they talked about the rest of the morning, was too lost in thought to even realize she left for school. He didn't realize he had made his way across town until he was falling heavily into his chair at the precinct as he slid a coffee across Beckett's desk to her.

"Thanks." she said, grasping her coffee with two hands and taking a whiff of it with her eyes closed before sipping it and turning a cheerful smile in his direction.

It was a rare treat to see a smile like that on Kate's face. She looked relaxed, happy and a little bit excited. His previous thoughts were slammed to the back of his mind as an involuntary smile tugged his own lips up in response as he gaged her demeanor and tried to determine the reason behind it. Failing miserably, he finally just asked, "What are you so happy about?"

The smile faltered a little as if she hadn't realized that she was even doing it, but then she leaned towards him just a little and replied, "I got a text this morning from a certain redheaded teenager. Know anything about that?"

Castle stared at her a moment, trying to figure out if she was actually trying to tell him that she was the other half of the text conversation Alexis had been having over breakfast. "So I guess it wasn't Ashley." he mused almost to himself before he thought back on the morning with a little more clarity. "Wait a minute. What did you say to upset her?"

The smile was fully gone now as she looked at him, apparently examining him to see if he was being serious. "I didn't actually upset her, did I?"

He gave her a reassuring smile, "Just for a minute, until the next message. What were you two talking about?"

"Do you always have to latch on to the trivial details?" she responded and then leaned a little closer, dropping her voice to a near whisper, "I was struck with inspiration for her surprise." she revealed, eyes twinkling merrily and he was awestruck by the moment.

She was actually excited about this, about helping him make a good day for his daughter. It was unexpected and fascinating, but there was something else there that he couldn't quite pin down, or perhaps didn't want to lay hope on. Instead he focused on the topic at hand; unable to wipe the sentimental smile off his face and hoping she'd think it was in reference to his daughter. "So, let's hear the Alexis Castle Surprise Birthday Extravaganza a' la Kate."

"You do realize that you can't call it that, right?" she asked, cutting off his train of thought. "Not only is it entirely too long, but you're going to slip up and say something in front of her.

He nodded, knew he was at risk of that anyway without adding the trouble of a name. He replayed the words in his head and was surprised that they came out with almost an acronym, though it made no sense. "We'll call it ACSBEAK." he said, sounding it out carefully as 'Axe Beaks', but she was obviously still not thrilled with the name. "It's ok, we'll work on it." he added.

He dismissed the point and went back to what they had been discussing, "What are we doing? Private concert? Private beach? Ooh, Pirate ship cruise?"

Beckett rolled her eyes at him, but the smile was back, "It's not _your_ birthday, Castle." she chuckled and he imagined she was thinking about him in a pirate get up with an eye patch looking rugged and saying 'Arrh!', though he was certain that was far from the truth of her actual thoughts.

That image stuck out and he suddenly blurted, "How cool would a costume party be?"

She seemed to actually give the idea some considerable thought before shrugging. "It would depend on what kind of theme we come up with."

"I thought you just said you had a great idea for her party?" he asked, slightly confused by the statement.

"No," Kate clarified, "I said I had a great idea, but it's more a great idea to get more ideas and eventually know what to do about her birthday."

"Ok," he said, drawing out the word until it was almost a question. "You do realize that you just talked in a complete circle and I have no idea what you said, right?"

"Oh, Castle," she teased lightly as she finally turned back towards her computer. "What's new?" she quipped.

"Ha ha." he responded dryly in a deep monotone, "Come on, Beckett, you can't just leave me hanging here."

"What's the matter, Castle? Can't take it?"

"No." he responded in the most sincere tone he could manage for the moment. It had the desired effect of having her turn back to consider him closely.

She had the look on her face that said she was trying to puzzle something out. One eyebrow slightly raised, forehead subtly creased in contemplation. It was one of his favorite expressions on her, but he found that it wasn't nearly as endearing when she was casting it in his direction as if she were picking him apart in her brain the way she did clues of their cases.

"Reconnaissance." she responded quietly with a smirk and a single pulse of her eyebrows to punctuate the importance of the word.

He didn't have the slightest idea what she was talking about, but it sounded like she did and that was enough. For now. He could tell she just wanted to get some work done, but he'd find a way to get her to tell him more about her new master plan.

x.x.x

A/N: The frozen coffee reference in the last chapter is actually my favorite treat. It's a Granita, but you can only get one of the caliber explained here from a coffee shop local to me. My coffee stand actually had me laughing during an episode of Castle (Anatomy of a Murder, in case you're curious). The victim had coffee at a shop that wasn't near her house and the opposite direction from work. That's totally me, but not for any reason other than that no one else makes them the same. I drive all the way across town in the wrong direction from work just to get my coffee. If you're ever in Spokane, go to Jitterz and get a Granita. It's almost worth the airfare just to visit from almost anywhere in the world. Yes, they are that good.

Review that made my day: **daphnebeauty**, I can't guarantee that it will always work, but the not so subtle request for me to write more right away had me back here to do just that even though I should be wrapping up my main fic.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Beckett had been teasing him all day with the knowledge that she had something planned that he wasn't privy to. It wasn't like that was a new development, she often planned things without his being aware or informed on the details. This was different because it had to do with his daughter and she could practically feel the nervous energy rolling off him.

She'd had fun watching his squirm, but she knew better than to push too hard or make certain jokes. The ones that guaranteed a reaction were off limits, because she didn't want to stress him any more than he already was. She had seen the expression on his face when he came in and she knew she should have asked if he was alright. The problem was that she didn't know if she wanted to hear what was bothering him, or worse, hear the story he made up to hide the real reason he had dragged in here looking like a kicked puppy.

It was after eleven and she knew she'd need to leave soon to meet with Alexis, so she finally decided to stop torturing him. They had been in the conference room pouring through financials on their victim and she was starting to get a kink in her neck from bending over the file.

There seemed to be a money source they couldn't explain and all indications pointed towards drugs, though the connection was tenuous at best and they needed something that tied him to a person.

She leaned back from the file, craning her neck to try and stretch out the annoying ache. "Alexis wants me to meet her at Antonio's Pizza by her school. Should I bring you back something?"

"You're having lunch with her?" Castle asked, apparently surprised that she'd just come right out with it after he'd been pestering her all morning for details.

"She wants to ask me something, and it's probably a good opportunity to pump her for information while she's distracted." her casual response only seemed to deepen the crease in his brow.

"Did she say about what?" he asked and that's when it all clicked.

Whatever was bothering him this morning had to do with Alexis. She had probably added to his worry and frustration by messing with him all morning and it made her a little frustrated with herself for not realizing it. Of course it was about Alexis.

She was surprised that for the second time in two days she was reaching out to him. This time she let her hand linger against the sleeve of his suit jacket as his eyes rose to meet hers. "I'm sure it's nothing." she finally told him with a gentle squeeze.

"She doesn't want to spend Memorial Day with me this year." his quiet confession of what had been bothering him came as if out of nowhere, but she should have been expecting it.

He was a good father and she knew that he was already nervous about the fact that she had pushed up the timeline for leaving the nest and venturing out to college. This was their last summer as a family before she was a woman facing the world on her own and Kate knew the thought of her leaving was eating him alive. To have her drop this type of bombshell on him, on top of everything else, had to be killing him.

She knew how much this weekend meant to them as a family, knew about the traditions. She knew how close the two of them were, but she could see in his eyes that he felt like they were drifting apart too quickly. She couldn't image what that was like and couldn't think of a single thing to say that could make it better for him.

Instead, Kate stuck with an old trusty tool, and gave his arm another gentle squeeze as she responded, "I'm sorry." She waited for his expression to soften a bit before she released his forearm.

It was good timing, she realized a moment later when there was a scattering of noisy activity from the bullpen before Esposito popped into the conference room. She looked up from the stacks of papers strew across the table's surface as he entered. "We got something."

It was the words she would have been happy to hear two hours ago, but now she was worried she'd have to cancel on Alexis and she was going to be forced to worry over both father and daughter until she had resolution.

Her suspicions were confirmed as Esposito explained and before long they were headed out of the precinct to interview a witness. The information came in about a couple of acquaintances of the victim. They weren't in the gang that ran their neighborhoods, but they worked closely with them in the supply and distribution of various narcotics.

As a result of the potential gang ties, she wasn't going to send Ryan and Esposito in alone to interview the witness who had reported seeing their victim in and out of a drug house near the time of his death.

As they all made their way down to their cars, Beckett pulled out her phone and typed a quick apology to Alexis that they had caught a break in the case and she wouldn't be able to meet her, sending off the text message and hoping the girl got it in time to make other plans for lunch.

Her phone buzzed just as they were pulling up to the house. While they waited in the car for Ryan and Esposito to arrive, since they had lost them at a traffic light a few block back, she read the simple message from Alexis. 'Dinner?'

Two nights of dinner with a Castle in a row. Could she handle that? Granted the younger Castle was a lot easier to be around, or perhaps 'easier' wasn't the right word.

She responded, '6:30? If nothing comes up.' And hit send before she could talk herself out of it.

Castle was climbing out of the car and had already started towards her side before she stepped out. Ryan and Esposito had arrived. Just as she was about to slip her phone in her pocket she felt it vibrate. Glancing at it, she swiped her finger over the touch screen and the message opened.

'Great! Can't wait. :)'

She was smiling and had just moving to slip her phone back when Castle lunged towards her. In the split second before he reached her she wondered why he'd suddenly become so aggressive. If he wanted to know what she and Alexis were talking about he could just ask. It didn't take long to realize that he wasn't after her phone.

That's when her mind processed the sound of her name from him, "Kate!" sharp and desperate as his body slammed into hers. The impact shocked her into hyper-awareness and the sound of gunfire reached her ears a moment before she found herself slammed to the ground, his larger body landing half over her knocked the wind out of her instantly.

She could hear Ryan shouting, "Get down! Get down!"

Beckett didn't even have time to pull in a breath before she felt the spray of glass falling over them both. Castle's hands seemed to be shielding her face and the moment the glass stopped falling he rolled away so she could get to her weapon.

She noticed, fortunately, the shooters were opposite the car from them. Esposito was crouched beside his and Ryan's car, driver's side door opened, leaning in awkwardly calling loudly through the radio for backup.

The sound of gun fire erupted again as she moved up to a crouch, casting a sideways glance to Castle still down on the ground. "You hit?" she managed, her chest tight.

"No." he responded, still not moving. "Got at least two on the steps, one headed this way."

She realized he was watching feet under the car, but if he could see them through the space, they had a clear shot at him. "Get to cover. Over by the wheels."

One of the other two detectives was returning fire and she almost missed Castle's response as he ignored her suggestion. "He's headed around the back."

She hesitated when the man, walking hunched to stay covered, rounded the end of her car. It wasn't much for hesitation, just long enough to confirm he was armed and intent on using that weapon on them. Then she dropped him where he stood.

That man falling seemed to put an end to the gun fire from the other two and she heard Esposito call, "They're on the move!"

She finally peeked over the car to see the two men taking off in opposite directions. "Esposito, Go!" He instantly started after one of the men, "Ryan, you're with Castle. Stay Down." The last statement she addressed towards Castle before she took off after the second man.

She hated foot chases. They reminded her of being a beat cop and the reason she probably shouldn't wear heels. This neighborhood wasn't the ideal place to be a cop running alone after a suspect either, but she had the advantage that her eyes were on the suspect and if he turned to fire she'd know it immediately.

Her chest was burning with the exertion since she hadn't fully kicked the shortness of breath from being crushed to the ground several minutes earlier. This man was leading her on a winding course and Beckett felt herself finally gaining ground after the first two blocks.

He took off down an alley and she followed, losing a little ground at his sudden turn. The sound of two gunshots greeted her ears from a distance and she had to push on, hoping they were Esposito's weapon and not the other suspect.

The sound of sirens had swamped the neighborhood and she knew back up would be reaching Ryan any moment, knew if she could close these last couple of feet they'd have at least one suspect to give some kind of statement. The incessant pounding of her feet on the concrete jarred her and she felt herself almost tumble as her foot hit a divot in the concrete.

The stutter step she had to use to stay upright allowed the man she was pursuing to pull ahead and disappear between two buildings. She took the corner cautiously, gun at the ready as she expected him to turn and ambush her with the time he had gained on her.

Instead he was still barreling full speed towards the street. She picked up her pace as she saw opportunity unfold in front of them in the form of a fence separating the space between the two buildings from the wide sidewalk out front.

Relief was her paramount emotion as she watched him drop his weapon to take a running leap at the fence. Pushing off the brick wall of the adjoining building for some height, he gripped the top of the fence with his hands as he scrambled up.

She holstered her weapon, still at a full run and caught his legs before he was able to pull himself over. For a moment he still tried to leverage himself over the top and kick himself free. It was futile, she had him and she wasn't letting go. Deftly blocking his awkward kick she reached with her free hand to the waistband of his pants and yanked him down.

It didn't take long for her to subdue the man from there, though on the trip down from the top of the fence she did nothing to protect his face from scraping painfully down the chain link until he was on his feet.

Once she had the cuffs on and read him his Miranda rights, she scooped up his weapon and disarmed it before she tucked it in her waistband and led him back the way they had come.

She didn't take him all the way back, simply found an intersection and called for a patrol car. Once she had the man settled in the back she took the officer's vacant front seat and he briefed her on as much as he knew from the radio traffic. From the sound of it, her initial hope that Esposito had been the one firing was answered as there were two suspects that didn't make it and no word on any officers down.

They arrived back at the scene of the shootout. It was swarming with cops and press and more gawkers than there were residents in the whole area. She spotted Castle standing beside Ryan and Esposito near her car, which from this angle she could see had been shot to hell. Even with all the patrol cars and cops, he seemed to notice the moment she pulled up.

As she climbed out of the car she gave him a reassuring smile. There was definite relief in his expression. She approached the three men, feeling that same sense of relief, especially on seeing the damage done to their vehicles. It seemed to put into perspective how close they'd come to not walking away from this.

"Everyone alright?" she asked once she'd finally reached them.

"Everyone but the bad guys." Esposito responded.

She couldn't pass up the opportunity to rib him a little as she gestured back towards the car she had pulled up in. "I got mine back alive."

x.x.x

By the time they waded through the bureaucratic red tape, made statements, submitted to questioning from Internal Affairs, and dragged their tired selves back to the precinct, it was after five. The man she had chased down earlier had been waiting in the interrogation room for her and it took less than five minutes to break him.

She was certain that had more to do with her mood than anything else. She was crabby and tired, her feet were killing her and she hadn't eaten since breakfast which was a slice of toast and a coffee. Whatever the reason, she didn't care. Another case wrapped up and they were headed out the door a little before six that night. She didn't even question as Castle led the way. Didn't bother to counter his offer to drive.

When he pulled up outside her apartment it was almost six fifteen and she suddenly remembered her plans for the evening. She was in no mood to play surprise party detective after the day she'd had and was going to suggest that he let Alexis know that another time would work better. It wasn't until she looked at him to make the statement that she realized she hadn't looked at him, really taken him in, since before the shooting.

Sure, he had brushed it off with the rest of them, using gallows humor as well as any seasoned cop, but it was hiding there behind his eyes. It was such a small shift in him that she wouldn't have probably noticed it until hours later as she was rethinking the day, but her intense external focus in order to prevent herself from thinking about her own aches and pains, had been directed at him in that moment.

The hollow vacancy behind his abnormally bright eyes spoke volumes. He was putting up a brave face for her, but this had really shaken him. "Can you call Alexis while I run upstairs? We're going to be late for dinner, but there's no way I feel like going out and I'm not wearing these shoes for another minute."

She was out of the car and headed into her apartment before she heard him calling to her from the street. He had stepped out the driver's side and was looking at her strangely over the roof of the car, "What?"

"Just call Alexis, I'll be down in a minute and we can start phase one of whatever we're calling this mission." she watched him just a moment longer until realization struck and that hollow look in his eyes was replaced with a slow burning warmth.

She may have been exhausted, but there was something in her telling her that she couldn't leave it like this. She couldn't leave him feeling whatever after effects he was going through. She knew some of it had to do with the fact that she'd been there and it was an experience that she hadn't been capable of handling alone. The other reason had to be an interest in not sending Castle home to his family with such a dire look in his eyes. They would be worried and that would just cause problems.

She didn't let herself focus on the other reasons she dismissed as they rapid fired in an attempt to grab tangible hold on her conscious mind, but failing as each was batted away with practiced ease.

She let herself into her apartment and immediately kicked off her shoes. She wondered what the Castle family after a near death experience having a rescheduled dinner that was changed last minute wardrobe requirements were. She settled on the side of overly casual as she quickly threw on a pair of athletic pants, traded her blouse for an oversized t-shirt, and examined her footwear.

She wasn't trying to impress anyone, obviously, so heels were definitely out. She was tired and sore and the only thing that even looked appealing to put on her feet was staring her right in the face, but she couldn't bring herself to slip them on. Finally, after a quick look in the mirror across the room she realized that if she was going to go for the Kate as a slob look by running around in gym pants and a t-shirt, there was nothing at all wrong with the choice of footwear that was calling her like a siren song leading her to the fiery pits of slob-hood.

She had to admit, once she was in the slippers and warm softness encased each aching foot, they were a great choice. She reasoned they were practical too as this particular pair had a hard rubber sole. Castle would probably have some smart ass response to her 'slumming it' or 'kicking it on the lower end of the casual scale', but she didn't care. Right now she just cared about being comfortable.

As she locked her door behind her to head back out, Beckett's traitorous brain reminded her that if all she wanted was to be comfortable then she'd be in her apartment setting up a nice hot bath and not moving unless she had to.

x.x.x

A/N: I'm glad for a little action in this chapter, because I've been sooooo bored with this story. It's relaxing and easy to write, but it doesn't feel like anything is happening and it's not pulling me back, at least not until this idea popped into my head. The overall feeling of the story is still positive and not depressing me like my other story did, so it's ok with me. Hope that works for all of you, too. And before you ask, yes I did change the rating.

Review that made my day: **Bella Paige**, Yes, the 80's crack me up and would be a great theme. Unfortunately, the theme and the party are the only way I could imagine incorporating my challenge imagery in a believable way without this being too crazy out of character, so the theme is already set. We're going to have a bit of lead up to get there though and there will be some hints in the coming chapters.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

As Kate disappeared into her apartment building, he slipped back into the car and let his mind play over what exactly had just happened. He had been overly focused on the drive to her house, respecting the fact that this was her 'new' car, though it was virtually identical to the one that had become evidence hours earlier. He didn't want to think about that while he was trying to drive, so he shifted his focus back to the road.

It was certainly an attempt to show her that there was nothing wrong with him driving, perhaps in the hopes of someday repeating the situation. Thinking back on it, he probably could have barreled through the city like a maniac and she would have paid just as much attention.

She wasn't being herself tonight. She was tired, sore, he could tell from her eyes, from the way she moved, but more than that she was quiet. She hadn't said a word in protest when he'd led her out of the precinct, hadn't done more than pass over the keys when he suggested that perhaps he should drive. She had sat there staring out the window, but looking as if she didn't see a single thing on the way to her apartment. She didn't make any sarcastic comments about his driving or joke about the safety of pedestrians or other drivers.

It worried him and kept him on edge as he navigated the clogged streets. When they arrived, he expected her to tell him where to park for the night or what to do with her car. Instead she asked him to wait for her. It was the first thing she'd said since leaving work and he couldn't help being more than a little confused by her sudden mention of Alexis and dinner.

He made the call as Beckett had suggested and Alexis filled him in on the fact that she and Kate had rescheduled their lunch for dinner tonight. He asked her to call in a pizza order and offered to pick it up on the way home, explaining that Beckett didn't feel like going out.

The call was short and afterwards he was left in his own thoughts again. He wondered why Alexis was so brief during the conversation. He suspected that it may have had something to do with whatever she wanted to talk with Beckett about. He was worried, that wasn't new. He liked how open and honest his relationship with his daughter was and while there had been a handful of times that she didn't talk to him about something, it still made him uncomfortable. Nervous and lost in thought, he was surprised when the passenger door opened and Beckett slid back into the seat beside him.

He took in her change of clothes and smiled when his eyes fell on her feet. "That is so not what I was expecting." he told her and waited for the questioning expression he knew was coming his way, but instead he was met with a guarded look that made him wonder what she could possibly interpret negatively from his lead in to light teasing. She seemed to be bracing herself for something worse than he had intended, expecting it and putting up a wall between them. He decided to ignore it and push forward anyway, hoping it was the right thing to do, but her current state of quiet had him completely off on interpreting what she needed from him. Not that he was all too capable of that, anyway. "I always pictured fuzzy slippers, maybe even bunnies."

She craned her head to the side as she took in his expression as if trying to decide if he'd really meant that the way he said it, "They are fuzzy," she responded, soft relief peeked out from behind her teasing smirk. "On the inside."

He almost smiled in his own wave of relief to hear her talking to him again and watch that teasing light come back from wherever it had been banished. He decided not to be the one dwelling on things. He also decided that making a pointed statement about how she was just like those slippers, soft on the inside, was probably not a good call right then.

If she was able to lock away whatever the hell was going on with her and move forward, he would too. "Alexis called out for Pizza, we'll grab it on the way home." he felt the word slip off his tongue and managed, just barely to stop the cringe at his use of it. He almost held his breath as he waited for the reprimand.

Instead she hummed appreciatively, "I'm so hungry I don't think I even care what she orders on it. I'd eat anchovies right now."

He chuckled softly at that. Not the indication that she'd eat the one topping she demanded never touch her pizza, but more the fact that she was actually admitting that her body had needs besides coffee. "She usually makes sure to get something green on it. I think she's of the mindset that it's the only way to get something healthy in me, but it tastes good so I don't complain."

Stopping at a light as he finished gave him the opportunity to cast a glance in her direction. Her eyes had slipped closed and he watched the smile tugging at her lips, "Spinach?" she asked, her tone soft, almost whimsically so.

"Sometimes." he responded. "We'll see, but I promise, no anchovies."

When they arrived at the pizza parlor, he left her in the car and ran in to grab their dinner. She smiled graciously and he almost fist pumped that as a victory. Something besides her outfit was screaming that she hadn't wanted to get out of the car and he had picked up the signal. Each accurate interpretation of her intentions or motivations felt like a small victory.

Sliding back into the driver's seat a few minutes later, he passed her the two pizza boxes. The delicious scent of them filled the car and he heard her stomach give a loud rumble.

They shared a laugh over it and finished out the drive in comfortable if impersonal conversation, mostly centering on favorite foods, something that made both keenly aware of how hungry they were.

Castle was pulling into his building's private parking area, one of the top selling points on an apartment in the city if anyone asked him, when Kate let out an excited exclamation.

"I got it." she said with a huge smile.

He looked at her strangely; nothing about cheese steaks should have inspired that response in her so he just waited for her to explain.

"We need a code word or something. A way to bring attention to each other about something that might be helpful in the planning."

"Do I get to have a code name, too?"

Kate rolled her eyes at him, but it was lighthearted and he was surprised how much a drive across town and the smell of pizza could change the mood in the car, "Awesome."

"Is that my mission name?" he asked, teasing that smile to stay on her lips because it made his spirit soar with pride to know that he could put it there. It was a point of principal to attempt keeping it in place as long as possible.

"It's the mission and the code word." that light he had seen in her eyes this morning was burning again. Excitement and anticipation wrapped up with a soft center that hid in the back but gave away her secret. It had surprised him this morning and he was shocked to recognize that he was still practically floored by the realization, even a second time. She cared.

He didn't know where this had come from, when it had happened or how, but somewhere along the way, between brief visits and a stay in his house or meetings for advice, she had started to care about his daughter. He knew it was there from the other side, but Alexis was so good and pure hearted that caring about people was almost instinct to her. To recognize the return of that affection in the eyes looking at him strangely now over the pizza she was trying to pass his direction had thrown him for a loop.

Regaining himself he took the boxes, congratulating himself for parking the car in his oft vacant visitor space without plowing through a concrete wall. "So," he asked when words finally formed in his head again, "Are you going to explain that? I'm guessing there's a story."

Kate chuckled, but he heard the note of nervousness in it and hoped he hadn't been gaping at her as his thoughts spiraled, because he didn't need to make her uncomfortable. "I've been trying to think of something suitable since you're failed attempt last night." she responded, apparently back to teasing as they stepped out.

"I thought that was pretty good. No way you're topping it." he shot back as he locked the door and then situated the pizza in his hands.

"I tried to call on my inner child to think like you would." She smirked, "I think I outdid even you with A.W.E.S.O.M.E." she finished slowly dragging out the word before she continued, ticking off the letters on her fingers as she continued, "Alexis' Wickedly Epic Surprise Of Mega Excellence."

Castle laughed a full bodied laugh and was suddenly glad for the pizza boxes in his hands because he was fairly certain that pulling her into a hug at that moment would have shattered it into pieces on the floor. "Ok, ok." he said between chuckles, "It's official and I bow to your superiority."

Kate shook her head at him as they loaded the elevator, "I can't believe you doubted me."

"Won't happen again." he responded immediately before silence fell on them and the hum of the elevator took over conversation. As the doors opened to release them he finally spoke again, "So, do I get that code name, yet?"

Her chuckled sparkled in her eyes as she cast him a sideways glance and shook her head at his childish glee. "I'll work on it." she promised before they'd reached his door.

Dinner was a jovial affair. Light conversation that Kate did an excellent job of steering, allowing Alexis to hold a lot of the conversation and talk about things going on in her life. He found it entirely too endearing every time Beckett casually said, "That's awesome, Alexis." or "That really would be awesome."

He felt like he was a conspirator in a great plot and being one of two people involved in a secret when Kate was the other was an interesting experience, to say the least. He was doing his best to remain nonchalant, play it cool and follow her lead. He was actually surprised at the things Kate thought might be important for Alexis' birthday. They were such everyday things for him that he'd never have thought of them. A couple of times he caught her eyes when Alexis was watching the detective and sent her a sly grin or a conspiratorial wink.

She took it like a pro, but he knew he shouldn't be surprised. She didn't let on at all and just smiled, sharing the time with Alexis and making the girl feel comfortable. It made him wonder if there had been times she had used this particular approach to get something out of him when he was least expecting it. If she had, she'd done it well because even looking back on it with eyes that have seen the light; he couldn't say she ever had.

There was a minor stall in the reconnaissance when Beckett had steadfastly refused to try the teriyaki chicken and pineapple pizza, choosing to stick with the more comfortably familiar spinach and feta. Debate ensued wherein Kate pointed out she wasn't much of a fan of pineapple on pizza and Castle tried to win her over with cajoling.

He almost scoffed when, after several minutes of trying every trick in the book and being shot down, Alexis leaned across the table with a slice extended to Beckett. "Come on, just a bite, it's not like it will kill you and then you can roll your eyes and tell Dad he was wrong." Alexis smirked, "It's a win-win."

Kate seemed to consider it for only a brief moment before flashing a defiant glance in his direction and leaning forward to have a bite off the end of Alexis' slice. He watched her consider it for a long moment, chewing slowly a serious expression on her face. The look didn't bode well for his winning this point with her, but then she swallowed and her grin slowly developed with just a hint of understated humility, "This is fabulous." she finally stated, silence following the proclamation.

When Kate reached for a slice of the pizza, Alexis let out a giggle that broke the silence and effectively set off the two adults at the table.

He was surprised a few minutes later as everyone finished up and he packed away the leftovers, to find himself being shooed out of his own house. He couldn't believe it; his own flesh and blood was kicking him out in the street like a mangy stray.

He sighed, heavy with his discontent, though really there was none as he watched the two women settle onto the couch, turned towards each other and chatting as if they were good friends before he'd even left the room. He held the odd feeling and the smile inside until he'd made it out of the apartment.

It lingered, however, all the way to the store and back with a sack of Alexis' favorite ice cream as he'd been ordered. The grin fell away quickly as he turned the knob and pushed the door open.

He could vaguely hear them conversing from somewhere near the dining table. He couldn't quite see them from his angle, but he assumed they were likely taking in the view through the bank of windows along that wall. It was the words that stopped him in his tracks, fist clenching the door handle, half in and half out of his loft.

Kate's voice came through first, they were what had stopped him cold, "I'm not going to lie to him, Alexis." she was stern, holding her ground and he felt a sudden chill at the thought that his daughter would keep something from him. That she would ask Beckett to lie to him about it. It didn't make any sense.

"Please, Kate." his daughter chimed in quickly. "I can't do this alone. I'm not ready for everything to change. I'm not ready to grow up and leave everything behind."

Sudden thoughts shot through his head, but one stuck and made him feel dizzy.

Kate interjected before Alexis could continue her excited rambling or Castle's mind could take him further down the rabbit hole, "You're going to break his heart."

"He'll get over it." Alexis responded flippantly and suddenly Castle began to feel a little relief, perhaps they were talking about Ashley and not him.

"You don't seem to realize that a necessary part of this plan of yours has me being the one that has to deal with your dad after you break his heart, right? I can't do that and lie to him at the same time."

"It's not a lie, you're just not telling him." Alexis was trying to convince her.

He'd heard enough. He couldn't take it anymore. He fixed a stupid grin on his face before making a point to rattle the door knob and push it open with a light holler through the loft, "Hey, Honey. I'm home."

Twin guilty expression met him as they turned towards the door. He avoided their gazes as he set to work pulling out the ice cream. "Alexis," he had to take a breath to move forward, "Do you want to get three bowls of this dished up? I have a thought on a case I wanted to run past Beckett."

He didn't miss the confused look on Kate's face, but Alexis seemed able to brush off their conversation more quickly as she headed towards the kitchen and started pulling down bowls.

He held Beckett's eyes and cocked his head towards his study before heading in that direction. She would either follow or she wouldn't, but he was counting on her being right behind him. Sure enough, after he had taken a few steps into his office, he heard the door close and latch.

"Tell me." was all he said as he turned to face her.

"What?" she responded, the innocence of her question might have been believable if he hadn't just over heard their conversation.

"Tell me what my daughter is asking you to lie to me about."

She shook her head at him. "I won't break her confidence. She'll come to you when the time is right."

His fear and anger mingled disgustingly in the pit of his stomach as he asked the one question he was sure he didn't want an answer to, "Is she pregnant?"

Kate's eyes went wide instantly, "What?" the shock was clear in her voice. "I wouldn't keep something like that from you, Castle. I wouldn't let her, either."

"Well it sounds like you're keeping something big from me and the way she was talking," he trailed off unable to finish.

He didn't know when she'd moved, but somehow she'd crossed the space between him. Her hands were suddenly gripping his upper arms as if she was planning to shake him, but there was a gentle softness in her eyes. "I promise, she will tell you and then you'll laugh about this conversation." she said, watching his eyes intently as if searching for meaning to sink in. After a long moment he gave her a nod of confirmation. "I would tell you if it was dangerous or destructive, you know that right?" his shrug set those eyes back in stone. "Do you trust me, Castle?"

He didn't like the hard clipped tone, but regardless of the situation, he could only answer honestly. "Of course." his answer was instantaneous without hesitation.

"Then listen to me. It's nothing to worry about. She just doesn't want to burden you with anything else when she's leaving tomorrow and missing out on your weekend away together."

Castle swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, "Tomorrow?" he asked, knowing there was as much a pout on his face as in his voice.

"She doesn't want to add anything on top of the bombshell that she's going away this weekend and not to the Hamptons." she explained, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear, "She's leaving in the morning, so can we just go back to how things were a little earlier, relax and enjoy tonight?"

Reluctantly, he agreed and after a brief moment to compose himself he went back out behind Beckett. They accepted their ice cream from Alexis and all of them moved to sit on the couch as if by unspoken agreement.

Somehow Kate ended up in the middle, flanked on either side by a Castle. She was sandwiched in, but that was probably an over-exaggeration as the couch was plenty large enough for all of them.

It wasn't until they had all finished and he disappeared to rinse the bowls that the easy camaraderie between Beckett and Alexis finally struck him as something other than positive.

Returning to his seat a moment later, he found Beckett sitting beside his daughter as they chatted, but this time as she threw out the word 'awesome' it didn't have nearly the same feeling to it. How was he supposed to think of anything other than whatever this big secret was?

He tuned back into the conversation a few minutes later to hear Alexis trying to convince Beckett of something. Alexis had asked him to help her, but he hadn't been paying attention, so he was sure to be little help to the teen. "Huh?" he asked, almost cringing at his lack of finesse with his word choice.

"Beckett's all tense and she's being stubborn. Tell her she should let me rub her neck." Alexis apparently repeated, though he'd missed it the first time. He caught the warning glare from Beckett, knew she was uncomfortable with close proximity under most circumstance and figured this was as good a time as any to make her feel as uncomfortable as he was since he'd gotten home from the store.

"Seriously?" Castle asked in mock disbelief. "You can't turn down a neck rub from Alexis, she's got mad skills." he responded, watching Kate's eyes narrow even further as she seemed intent on boring a hole through him. He ignored her look as he noticed she had kicked off her slippers and was sitting with her feet tucked up onto the couch. In a quick move he had them in hand and used the act of pulling them to him to spin her shoulders just enough that Alexis could reach out and start to work on the knots in the detective's neck.

He watched as a flash of annoyance lit her face and he had a moment of worry that she would lash out with her feet and strike a very sensitive part of his anatomy. It was gone a moment later as her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a low moan of approval. Alexis had obviously found the problem.

His daughter smiled in triumph over Kate's head as the older woman relaxed more fully into the teen. Castle couldn't help but let his mind wander over what Kate had said as he watched her start to really relax for the first time in hours. She was right, he trusted her and if she said it was nothing to worry about, then he was going to stop.

Despite how desolate tomorrow was looking to be for him, he found that she was right and tonight they could all just relax for a little while and let tomorrow bring whatever it would. He watched as Alexis situated herself more fully behind Kate. They were both sitting sideways on the couch, Kate's back leaning into Alexis' chest as the younger girl continued to carefully knead and work out the sore muscles.

He noticed, almost absently, that her feet were still clutched in his hands and he shifted his grip to start gently working his thumbs with steady pressure on the underside of one foot before switching to the other. At the first small circle against her arch, Beckett's eyes snapped open to meet his gaze. He continued to work on her feet as she looked at him and after a moment she gave up fighting and dropped her head forward letting her hair curtain most of her expression from him, but not pulling away from them.

After several long minutes, Kate finally let out a moan as he felt a particularly tight group of muscles loosen under his touch. "Wow." Beckett's breathless response almost took his own oxygen pulling capabilities with it. That hadn't actually done it, but her follow-up comment did. "I wish I could take you two home with me." she commented absently, obviously still exhausted despite her loosening muscle aches.

"You can come back, anytime." Alexis responded before he could even formulate a thought into a sentence. "We're running a two for one special on Castles."

Beckett smiled; he could see it through the hair falling around her face. "Be careful what you wish for." she warned the teen, but Alexis just laughed off the light teasing and continued. Castle, however, was struck silent by the words. While he continued to work on her feet, he was suddenly all too aware of the feeling of soft flesh in his hands.

His distraction with the smooth glide of his fingers over each delicate curve of her feet pulled him out of the moment for an indeterminate span of time. It was some time later that he noticed a completely exhausted and thoroughly relaxed Kate Beckett was sleeping peacefully on his couch. Alexis had stopped working on her neck, he wasn't sure when, but they shared a smile as if both aware of the magnitude of what they had accomplished.

Alexis just sat there with Kate against her, a gentle hold of her hands on the other woman's arms sharing the silence with him for what could have been a long time. "I'm going to bed." she finally spoke, though her tone was barely a whisper.

"Hey," he stopped her before she moved, trying desperately to lock the sight in front of him away quickly before it changed, "You can't leave me to wake her up by myself, she's going to kill me." he followed her lead and maintained a matching level of quiet in deference to the woman sleeping sprawled between them.

Alexis smiled, "She said she doesn't have to work tomorrow. Something about going in for something around ten, but that's it. This couch is plenty comfortable for a night."

Castle racked his brain, trying to figure out if she'd told him about not working this weekend and he came up empty. As he thought on the subject of Beckett not working over a weekend he was supposed to spend with Alexis, but now suddenly found himself alone for, that hollow ache in his gut came back. He was hoping that she would be there to provide a distraction while he waited out the end of a weekend he hadn't realized he'd be spending alone.

Alexis had somehow extricated herself and adjusted Beckett's head down to a throw pillow. She came back a moment later with a comforter and adjusted the blanket carefully around the sleeping detective. Kate seemed the recognize the warmth and grasped the edge of the blanket, pulling it tight around her as she turned on her side and burrowed into the couch a little more fully. The movement was simple and casual, something so pure and innocent about seeking warmth in sleep, and he was so focused on taking that in that he didn't realize she had stolen her feet back from him as she curled up.

Alexis leaned into him and planted a kiss on his cheek before they exchanged 'good nights' and she headed off to bed. He knew he probably should as well, it had been a long day, but he was enthralled with the sight before him. Brown hair against a thick white blanket, he could only see half her face, but the way it relaxed in sleep was fascinating. He'd never seen her look so free of all that she carried every day.

He saw the shift as she rolled to her back and he forced his eyes away for a moment, not interested in being called 'creepy' for watching her sleep as she woke up. He was staring blindly at a wall, wondering about her reaction to having fallen asleep in his home, when he felt a gentle prodding against the underside of his thigh. It only took him a moment to realize she had been seeking warmth, as her toes gently sought and eventually settled, tucked between his thigh and the couch.

She let out a contented sound in her sleep and then the movement stopped. Everything around him seemed to stop with it. The initial sapping of the heat from his leg by toes that were surprisingly cold considering they had been curled up under that thick blanket with her, was soon restored and he knew that her toes had warmed beneath his flesh.

There was something about the simple act of providing something for her comfort as she slept that was poignant, and forestalled his intention to move from this spot.

Eventually, he did take himself off to bed, surprised both by the late hour he had reached alone in silence and the fact that he had the willpower to leave that moment at all.

He knew the odds of repeating even that low level of intimacy with her were slim and he'd have been content to soak it up until morning dawned, but he couldn't. He couldn't stay out there and risk falling asleep beside her, risk her waking to find him there and assuming he had done it on purpose for an excuse to be near her. The worst potential outcome, would have been for sleep to be his excuse to let himself relax enough and he'd have woken with her legs or hips as a pillow after leaning over to find a more comfortable position in the night.

No, that would not have gone over very well with Beckett and so he stood. He carefully arranged the blanket around her feet, willing the material to do its job as he no longer could. He padded across the living room and turned back to look at her one last time in the doorway. Finally moving again, he made quick work of changing and was in bed, almost instantly asleep.

x.x.x

A/N: I know, a little angst, but it will be resolved next chapter.

So I have some Memorial Day weekend chapters coming up and since I'm a little stumped on how to work the shift of my other story, I'll probably be working on this for a few days while I puzzle that one out. I'll try to get those chapters out in a timely fashion so it's at least near the holiday as things progress. No promises to finish before the three day weekend I have, because you all know I can be long winded and fitting a whole day into one chapter is pretty much unheard of for me.

I used to have a phone that didn't let me read chapters longer than about 4000 words, so I don't really write them longer than that, until this one. Is anyone going to have a problem if some of these chapters get long in order to try and get through the weekend in real time (well one day late, because this chapter is set Friday posted Saturday) without sacrificing my long-winded detail oriented brain?

Review that made my day: **Peachy-x-**, I read that with a huge grin on my face. 'I wonder how much longer until she folds?' funny, but too true. It's these opening chapters that always feel like they're dragging as I set the scene. It will be better as things pick up from here and I won't be so inspired to rely on cheap thrills to make myself happy. I won't actually be able to for a while because we're leaving the precinct in the dust for a few chapters.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Kate woke to the smell of coffee and the unfamiliar sound of its percolation. It was what shocked her sleep fogged brain into instant alertness. Not only did her coffee maker not sound anything like that, but the timer had been broken for months so she hadn't woke to fresh coffee in a while.

Her eyes snapped open and she took in her surroundings. Immediately she recalled the events that had obviously led to her waking where she was, but she stayed still under the warmth of a blanket she had no memory of covering with as she replayed the end of last night.

She'd seen the teasing glint in Castle's eyes a moment before he'd grabbed her and the shock of his action was enough to keep her still until she felt Alexis' warm hands at her neck. The girl's deft fingers started working out the tensions she'd been carrying since being violently jarred as Castle tackled her that afternoon.

She wasn't surprised that she relaxed into Alexis. While she wasn't over demonstrative in normal circumstances, she had actually been feeling more worn down and exhausted than uncomfortable, weighing her heavily towards the side of just accepting the girl's offer to help.

At least, that had been the case until she felt the firm but gentle kneading against the soles of one of her feet. Her eyes shot up to Castle, intent on reprimanding him for his inability to keep his hands to himself. The protest died on her tongue when she caught the way he was staring off towards something he probably wasn't seeing and she realized he probably didn't even realize what he was doing.

Still, she kept the warning look on her face, though unvoiced and when his eyes finally turned to meet hers as he seemed to realize what he was doing, she saw a flash of something. Probably fear at her reaction, followed quickly by resolve and that cocky grin as his fingers continued to travel over her skin.

She recalled thinking earlier that a warm bath was the best way to relax, but amended the thought in her head as she felt the healing touch of both Castles. She wondered why they were making such an effort for her, why they even wanted to help her relax, but then brushed the thought off. They both, within the past two days, had asked her for favors and she resolved the issue of conflict in her mind as them trying to pay her back for accepting. Still, that didn't stop the errant thought of wanting to take them home with her from escaping her mouth.

Alexis' response had made her feel warm and welcome; it almost felt like she was part of something here with them in this moment. She didn't want it to end, because unlike other relationships where there was some comfort of this sort, she wasn't expected to do anything to reciprocate. Perhaps that's what had drawn her thoughts to her own family and wondering what it would be like to be included in this one on a more regular or permanent basis.

She had banished the thoughts by closing her eyes against the image of Castle's fingers moving across her skin. That hadn't worked at first as she still felt the steady warm slide of his thumbs. He was a master at this. She wondered absently why she had never thought to ask for his help with this after some of the torture wearing her heels had put her through, but almost laughed at the thought itself.

Just this morning, anyone saying she'd be not only appreciative, but slowly becoming addicted to a foot rub from Castle would have been scoffed at. Funny how a day could change things. A moment really. That moment when she was too tired to pull away from the feeling of them caring for her. Her mind had hazily waned in and out and she knew that she should stop them so she could go home, but there wasn't a single bone in her body that wanted to move out of the comfort they had been providing.

Waking up there, shouldn't have surprised her as much as it did. She would have expected Castle to wake her and send her home, not tuck her in and leave her there. Hell, she would have expected him to stay with her in some capacity just so he could be creepy and watch her as she slept.

She shook off the thought as she finally sat up and stretched, glad, not for the first time, that she had changed into the comfortable clothes last night before coming over. Looking around, she spotted Alexis perched on a stool at the counter in the kitchen. There was no sign of Castle, but that didn't mean their topic of conversation from the night before was smart to bring up again. That's why she was surprised when she approached Alexis and the girl sprang into action making coffee and quietly confirming her thoughts from the night before.

"He'll be up soon, but when he hops in the shower can I run down and put that in your car?" she asked.

Beckett shook her head. "I'll just take it down when I leave. The timing is good though." It was odd how comfortable she felt in the Castle kitchen. She attributed it to her time staying here when her apartment had been blown up and simply set to work fixing her coffee and then opened the fridge with a glance back at Alexis once she had taken stock of the contents, "Omelet?" she asked.

Alexis smiled, "Sounds good, but no chocolate."

Kate made a face and started to collect things from the fridge. Alexis came around to help and they made short work of chopping and dicing. Alexis mixed up the eggs while Kate cooked up some sausage before throwing in the chopped onions and letting them cook down a little.

She had to admit, having never actually worked with Alexis in the kitchen, this was almost fluid and easy. It wasn't long before they had everything almost finished. Alexis offered to go wake her dad.

"I'll do it." Kate responded, feeling just a little evil thrill as she walked over to his room. It was a calculated risk, but she was certain he'd at least be clothed considering he had guests, so without knocking she opened the door and in her most authoritative voice she barked, "Castle!"

She almost lost the glare she was giving him to a full out laugh as he jumped and scrambled out of the bed as if it were on fire. Eyes wild with apprehension and guilt. She had been right about two things. He assumed she'd be mad about him leaving her sleeping instead of waking her to go home, and he didn't sleep in the nude, though the low riding pajama pants with no shirt was a far cry from him actually being covered.

She let him stew a moment, stuttering around for an explanation for his actions, or rather lack of action, before she finally had pity on him and let the humor of the moment pull her into a smile, "Relax, you're not much of a wordsmith when you're hyperventilating." she told him before she turned away, calling over her shoulder, "I just wanted to let you know breakfast is almost ready."

The surprise in his eyes was almost as comical as his reaction to the way she had woke him up, but this time she didn't stop herself from laughing.

x.x.x

It was almost eleven by the time she looked back at the clock. She had gone to the precinct to try and wrap up a few things. It was her day off and the rest of the three day weekend as well, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the few things undone, regardless of having caught, or more appropriately shot, the killer and closing their most recent case.

She was covering the bases. She was checking on the reports from CSU to make sure the evidence matched the story from the young man she had chased yesterday. Everything was adding up and it was actually looking to be one of their quickest cases yet, perhaps that's what bothered her about it and the mini-Castle in her brain told her to look for the twist. This time there wasn't one and she finally gave in to the fact.

It was eleven, and she had something to do. Not excited in the least with what she had agreed to the night before, she picked up her phone and hit the familiar speed dial as she made her way back out of the precinct.

"Hey, Beckett." Castle greeted and she noted the lack of enthusiasm in his voice. She knew Alexis had broken the news to him and already left. This was going to be the hard part about helping Alexis.

"Hey, Castle, got some time to kill today?" she responded, trying to keep her tone light.

She heard a shuffle of movement on the other side before his voice came back on the line with a little more life to it, "Do we have a case?"

Beckett almost laughed at his eager puppy tone, "Not really, but some new info came in on a cold case and I thought since the guys here at the station are going to be short staffed over the holiday, maybe you'd want to ride out and check it out with me?"

"Yeah, let me just get a few things squared away here and I'll meet you at the precinct." he responded, that lost sound now completely gone and she was glad to hear it.

"It's over an hour's drive, so maybe you could just get some snacks together, something to entertain yourself with so you don't annoy me while we're on the road and I'll pick you up at your place?" she offered.

"Ooh," the teasing tone revealed the exact smile he was certain to have on his face, "Road trip!" he exclaimed.

"Be ready in twenty minutes." she informed him before hanging up. She had to get off the phone before her tone changed to give away the huge smile playing across her features as she climbed in her car and headed off to his place.

x.x.x

Road tripping with Richard Castle proved to be less annoying than she had originally thought it might be. In fact she had been enjoying the way he kept her distracted from the monotony of the road with stories and offhand insights into the various neighborhoods they passed through.

She almost missed her exit from the highway when his tone suddenly changed and he finally spoke about what she had assumed he'd dwell on the entire trip. "She didn't tell me anything before she left, not even where she was going. She usually lets me know which friend she's staying with so I don't worry and now I'm left wondering if she's having some kind of weekend getaway with Ashley. It's not a pleasant thought."

"She's not with Ashley." Beckett informed him, hoping he wouldn't pry and spoil everything when they were so close.

"She told you where she was going?" he seemed shocked and at least a little hurt as she wound the car through the traffic, thicker now that they had to contend with stop lights.

She felt awful for lying to him, but it was only a few more minutes, she consoled herself as she shrugged and tried to maintain her calm. "She told me some, but it's nothing you need to worry about."

"Why, Kate?" his tone was dark and sad, as if she were the one who was breaking his heart in this moment. "Why wouldn't she want to go to the Hampton's with me? We go every year and we have fun. Why put off to the last minute telling me that she didn't want to go and leave me here worried sick about it?"

Kate slid him a sideways glance, heart clenching as she realized how much this was bothering him. She knew the reason and the reason behind the larger one. That second reason wasn't a secret or a surprise so as they reached another light she turned towards him with a comforting smile. "She doesn't want to go back there, because of the last time." she told him and waited for the light of understanding to dawn on him.

"The bomb?" he finally asked and she nodded as they shared a quiet moment over it.

The light changed and she started driving again, "She told me that even thinking about going back there brought up all that it had meant to leave you and Ashley and everything she knew behind, not knowing if she'd ever see any of it again." She heard the heavy exhalation of his sigh, but continued, "She wanted to tell you, but she was worried that you would be upset with her or something."

"No," he breathed softly into the car, "Never."

"I know." she replied, "That's what I told her, but she wasn't ready to face it all again."

In her peripheral vision she caught him nodding as she spotted the sign for the diner she had been looking for up ahead. "Let's grab some lunch before we get there." she suggested, almost delighted with how well taking a break from 'the case' fit into their conversation.

He agreed easily and they were walking into the diner a few minutes later. Castle's focus was obviously not on their surroundings, because she spotted Alexis the moment they walked in. Of course, she had known to be looking for the girl and Castle's focus was somewhere far away, probably months before.

She was surprised that Alexis was able to walk all the way up to them and tucker her hand into the crook of Castle's arm before the man seemed to even realize she was there. The look on his face was priceless. Confusion and shock to find her in this little diner over an hour away from home. He looked around as if searching for whomever she was with, but the waning lunch crowd provided no insights.

Finally, Alexis grinned up at him, "Surprise." she said and watching his face as the light dawned on him what Alexis and Beckett had been up to was worth giving in to the teen's request the night before.

She still couldn't believe she had agreed to it, but she chalked it up to the fact that everyone she knew had plans over the weekend and sitting around her apartment alone actually held less appeal than being subject to Castle's sometimes over the top ways.

They joined Alexis at her table and over lunch the teen laid out how she had roped Beckett into helping trick him because she didn't want to give up their special weekend just because she had no desire to go back to the Hamptons any time soon. It had actually been his own comment about the stables near Cherry Ridge Wild Forest and the horses they had boarded there that spawned the idea in his daughter. She had been willing to swallow her anxiety and go on their normal weekend getaway with him, until the other idea presented itself and she couldn't think of a better one.

"It's been a while dad. I just got to thinking about how much I've missed it up there and then I thought about what you said and strong armed Beckett into helping me. She wasn't happy about having to lie to you, Dad, but don't be mad, ok? This was my idea."

She was charmed by the quick words that flew from Alexis as if she felt like she had to keep explaining herself until all the details were clear. It was just another sign that the teen had not like lying to her dad any more than Kate had.

"Mad?" he asked and that spark of excitement in his eyes was burning brighter than she could ever remember seeing it, "This is way better than fireworks!" he exclaimed.

She couldn't help but feel a little like a third wheel, coming between them and a family trip. As much as she had tried to convince herself she didn't want to go and was just doing it for Alexis, she actually had been looking forward to relaxing and reliving a few old memories. Still, right then she wondered if she would be intruding. "If you guys want to grab a rental car or something in town, I can go back to Manhattan."

Alexis looked over at her with a shocked expression and Castle's quizzical eyes searched her for the reason behind the seemingly random suggestion.

"But, you said," Alexis cut in, having apparently learned the art of pouting within a reprimanding look from her father, "You told me you wanted to come; you said it would be fun."

"I know, but I didn't think about how this is your weekend. It's good for you two to have this time without some third wheel tagging along."

The comment earned her instant scoffs and matching eye rolls from her two companions. "No way, Beckett." Castle responded, "You're stuck with us now." his grin was challenging as if he could see right through to how she really didn't want to turn around and go back to her empty apartment. "I can't let you break promises to my daughter. What kind of father would I be?"

"Yeah," Alexis responded, "Besides, you can't leave me alone with him now, he's so excited it's going to be a trick to get him to sit still for the next hour of this drive. He'd probably crash us into something."

Twin sets of blue eyes were watching her for a reaction, silently pleading with her not to back out. On one hand she really wanted to turn tail and run, knowing that subjecting herself to near constant contact with her partner was likely to result in some kind of blow up eventually. At the same time, she couldn't bring herself to care about that when the thought of relaxing for a change in a new place without the everyday pressures of her job sounded like heaven, regardless of company. It helped make the decision that she was currently faced with two wide-eyed puppy dog faces that seemed to be begging her not to quit before they'd even started.

The smiles that lit the faces of her companions when she nodded her ascent spoke to her having made the right decision. She hoped she wouldn't come to regret this.

x.x.x

Driving with Castle had been a surprisingly fun experience, but getting him and his daughter together had proved to add a new level to the trip. She smiled as they left the restaurant and Alexis shouted, "Shotgun!"

Castle pouted and grumbled under his breath as he climbed in the back seat and Alexis got in the front, but he was smiling by the time Beckett had rounded the car to join them. Before they took off she informed Alexis that she was in charge of the radio and it gave Castle just one more thing to gripe about.

It was playful and lighthearted complaining and she was secretly pleased to see this side of him come out so strongly after the downward spiral that the last few minutes of their trip to meet Alexis had taken.

To Kate's surprise, Alexis didn't reach for the radio and start pushing all the buttons as Castle might have done. Instead she took her time, setting up her iPod through the radio and soon she had a playlist going.

"Ugh," Castle griped from the backseat. "Do we have to listen to these whiny women all the way there?"

Alexis was about to respond when Kate cut in, "Hey, if you are going to complain you can get out and walk." she told him, "I think it's awesome that she has her own musical tastes independent of her parents. Even more so because it's not that sugary pop crap most kids her age listen to."

"It's alright, I can change it." Alexis piped up, obviously hoping to forestall an argument she had no idea wasn't coming.

Kate had caught Castle's understanding for the reason she wanted Alexis to pick the music in the rearview mirror. He sighed as if being won over by the words, "No," he said, "It's fine, she's right." Then he smirked, "Just wait until it's my turn though, you won't know what hit you."

Alexis rolled her eyes and Kate laughed at him, not with him, but literally at him. He gave her a look of utter outrage, but he was unable to stop the smile that ruined his intent. She informed him in her best 'my way or the highway' voice, "Actually, when you're in that seat it means that it's my turn to pick the music." she glanced at Alexis and shared a smile, "And I'm thinking I'm a country girl, Castle, so you're stuck with it either way."

"You are so not into country music." he responded. Of course, he'd latch onto that and not the fact that he was being cut off from ever controlling the radio.

"I could be." she responded, "You don't know everything, Castle."

"I know enough." he retorted.

The song suddenly changed from a ballad to a more up tempo country song and she glanced at Alexis with a questioning tilt of the head. The teen simply shrugged, "Call it a compromise." she said.

The cheery songs kept them company in the lulls between Castle and Alexis telling her stories about going up to Glided Tree, the ranch where their horses were kept. The drive felt incredibly short as laughter flowed easily and she wondered why she had never felt the need to experience this side of their family dynamic before. It was something she hadn't realized she was missing out on, but sharing the memories with them filled her with a sense of family that she hadn't felt in a while.

She pulled that thought in before it had the chance to run rampant through her head. That wasn't what she'd meant at all and this was just supposed to be fun with two of her friends not an experiment in self-torture and an excuse to get lost in maudlin thoughts of what her life could have been like if she had made different choices with it.

Whether she would be settled with a kid of her own, a husband and a house in the suburbs if her mom hadn't, no, she had to stop that because she could hear the conversation and laughter continue around her and she knew that keeping herself buried in what could have been would slowly lead to the end of that. Especially once Castle caught on.

She forced herself back to the present as she realized they were drawing near their destination.

x.x.x

A/N: Longest. Chapter. Ever. I had to cut it in half because it reached over 8000 words, the rest will be up tomorrow, look forward to getting to the ranch, meeting some folks and catching a sunset, that's as far as I've gotten, though I plan to finish the chapter once I finish editing this (not well since I'm exhausted) and get it posted.

Your understanding is really appreciated here. I hope you don't mind if I say the heck with posting a full day in each chapter and play out the weekend in smaller chapters with a little more depth than this one. It means I won't actually be done with the weekend by Monday. I can't have another day like today where I write all day because I actually have plans tomorrow, so I hope that's agreeable with you all, even if it puts us out of the time line.

Review that made my day: **daphnebeauty **and **Peachy-x-** , because oh my gosh I agree with you so freaking much! Feet _are_ icky. I don't even know how I made it through that chapter except that it just seemed like what happened next.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

When Alexis instructed her on the last turn and Kate finally got a look at the ranch she grinned and felt all hints of negativity leave her. It wasn't that the place was anything different than the dozens of other ranches that they had driven past; it was more of a feeling of finally arriving. The anticipation was palpable as she turned up the long driveway and headed through the archway that proudly proclaimed that they had finally arrived at 'Gilded Tree'.

Castle directed her towards the back of the large house and had her park near a log cabin. She could see that there were several others scattered through the tree line each nearly identical, but far enough from each other to be private. It was the sight of those log buildings that seemed to bring home the fact that she had actually agreed to this without fully thinking through what it meant.

"Did you call John?" she heard Castle ask through her racing thoughts.

"Yep." Alexis responded, sounding proud of herself for having taken care of everything.

Kate's mind was informing her very loudly in that moment that Alexis had not taken care of everything, because nowhere in their discussion was there been a mention of sharing a cabin with them. She was surprised it hadn't occurred to her to ask.

She just assumed that wherever they boarded their horses was probably near a small city where they stayed in some hotel or other and it would be fine. The problem, however, was they had spent the last several miles passing only farm houses and she should have known that something was wrong.

Feeling a little dazed, she followed their lead and stepped out, watching as Castle took in a huge lung full of air before releasing it with a giant sigh and an even bigger smile. "I always forget how amazing it is out here." he said wistfully.

"Well," Alexis called over to him with a stern tone, "Don't get all swept away, the bags in the trunk aren't going to haul themselves."

The words snapped Kate out of her thoughts as she stopped in mid-motion of closing the door to reach back in and pop the trunk. She followed the other two to the back and grabbed her bag, feeling more like she was along for the ride and not really taking any of it in at the moment.

Rick unlocked the cabin and held the door for the two of them to go in first. It was as if he sensed her hesitation, because once they all stepped inside he announced, "There's two rooms, so we're going to have to draw straws to see who's stuck bunking with Alexis." he leaned closer to her and lowered his voice, but it was still intentionally loud enough to carry over to Alexis, "She hogs the covers."

His whisper, close enough for her to feel his breath on her cheek, threatened to send a shiver through her but she fought it back and turned to roll her eyes at him. "Don't lie." she said, "You just want it left up to chance because you know if she gets to pick she'll choose me. Admit it; you're afraid she likes me better."

She thought he'd laugh and shoot a quip back at her, but a suddenly serious expression stole his features and he opened his mouth as if to respond, but then clamped it closed again and started off towards one of the rooms with the bag Alexis had packed for him and sent down with Beckett that morning.

She and Alexis shared a look and a shrug before the girl decided that Kate needed a tour. There wasn't much to the cabin. A living room with a stone fireplace; open to the kitchen. Off to one side there was a modest bathroom and beside that the bedroom that Castle hadn't disappeared into, the whole wall between those doors taken up with a large bookshelf crammed completely full. She was excited to get a chance to look through them maybe spend a few hours of this trip absorbing a new book.

They settled their suitcases in the bedroom and Kate was about to launch into another heated internal debate about the logistics of this trip when the phone rang. Alexis left her to her own devices as she moved back out to the living room to get it. Kate dropped heavily onto the bed, staring up at the roof and wondering, not for the first time what she had gotten herself into.

Alexis was back a moment later, standing in the doorway with a huge smile on her face, "That was Lizzie; she's John and Rachael's daughter. She saw us pull in and wanted to let us know dinner will be ready at six." She turned and left the room again and Kate was sure she was probably headed over to let Castle know the same thing.

Once Alexis was out of the room again, Kate took the opportunity to change into jeans and a t-shirt. Convincing Castle that they had been on a case had necessitated a certain dress code, but out here she was more than a little uncomfortable. She slipped on some tennis shoes to finish off the more comfortable outfit and wandered out to see what the plan was now.

She wasn't the type to do anything quite so spur of the moment and finding herself in a situation where she was basically at the mercy of someone else to plan out her day was making her a little uncomfortable. She wanted this for Alexis, though. Something about the way the girl had pleaded with her to come with them had struck her and she was intent on making the most of it for Alexis, if not a little for herself as well.

With that in mind, she shook off her doubts about this and decided that living in the moment for a couple of days would not be the worst thing in the world. She vowed to have some fun while they were here and knowing her companions, they'd make sure that it was at least an interesting weekend.

Castle and Alexis were standing in the living room when she came out. She was glad to see he changed, too and she didn't feel so awkward about the need to dress down for the situation.

His shirt was a plain white cotton t-shirt and she almost turned around to go change when she realized they were basically wearing the same thing. His jeans were a little lighter than hers and slightly faded, more well-worn than those off the rack pants kids wore now that looked like they were broken in when they were new. The act of changing his shirt had left his hair lightly tussled and she was almost tempted to reach up and straighten it, almost.

Alexis, thank goodness for the girl, informed them that she wanted to take Kate down to meet the horses. They walked along a path that Castle complained was 'the scenic route', obviously not interested in wasting time on scenery.

"We're giving Kate a tour, Dad, suck it up." Alexis informed him before turning to Kate, "Have I ever thanked you for getting him out of the house as often as you do? He has about zero patience."

She and Kate shared a knowing smile when Castle rose to the bait with a whiny tone in his voice, "Hey, I heard that."

"That was kind of the point." Alexis informed him before her focus shifted back to telling Kate about all the things they passed, pointing out the different trails and explaining where each one went.

She stopped when they did at one of the trails. It was slightly overgrown and looked far less used than the others. Alexis stopped talking and Rick had pulled up next to her, throwing an arm over his daughter's shoulders. With a smile he hugged her close and Beckett barely heard as he whispered, "Tomorrow." to her.

From there they were both wistful and more subdued. Beckett found herself curious about the shift, but didn't want to ask and interrupt their moment. She wondered again why she'd come with if she was going to just hang back worrying about being the third wheel they had assured her she wasn't.

"What's down there?" she asked, trying to sound casual, though probably not being as successful as she'd hoped.

"Remember that waterfall I told you about?" Castle asked and she nodded. He gave her a smile and gestured back towards that trail with his head.

"Why is it all overgrown, then?" she wondered out loud, it seemed like that would be a trail everyone would take.

"This place gets a lot of tourists on top of its regular boarders. John and Rachael intentionally don't tend the mouth of that trail." Castle explained. "It keeps the casual tourists from going down there and makes it a little more private for those of us who value our time alone."

x.x.x

Kate was grinning as they entered the barn and she spotted the names of all the horses over their stables. Her eyes scanned the large barn, quickly skipping over more than a dozen stalls and then settled on a pair of them, "Bet I can guess which ones are yours." she challenged.

"What's the wager?" Castle responded immediately.

"No way, Dad, don't fall for it. It's too easy."

"She's right, Castle." Beckett gave the teen a little smile before gesturing down the left side of the barn as she started walking that direction, "Vader and Pythagoras, seriously?"

Castle was glaring at Alexis, "You should have let me bet her, I'd be laughing victoriously right now."

"I didn't say I'd also guess you had one for your mom, Castle." Beckett pointed out, walking over and reaching up to stroke the nose of a brown and white stallion, his name placard read Othello. "You guys are so ridiculously predictable. I mean, come on."

"What would you name your horse, then?" Alexis challenged, though she could tell the girl didn't take offence to her teasing.

"I know," Castle interjected and her stomach clenched, because if the next word out of his mouth was Johanna, she was going to lose it. "Probably something with Justice or Honor in it."

"Nope." she responded evenly, turning to face him, "I'd name him Amarillo Sky."

Castle looked at her quizzically and Alexis smiled, "Did you just make a country music joke?"

"Perhaps." she responded. Then they proceeded to have an entire conversation that excluded Castle by very nature of the theme.

"I love Jason Aldean!" Alexis gasped, sharing a smile at being able to bond with Kate over a common element that wasn't even remotely related to her dad.

"I know, right?" Kate asked. "He doesn't have the classically good looks of Tim McGraw, but his voice is something else and it doesn't hurt that he looks _good_ in a cowboy hat."

Alexis made a face, "Tim McGraw is a little old for my tastes." Alexis responded, "But Keith Urban? Yeah, that's a different story."

Kate shrugged, "I do love that Australian accent, but he's too pretty."

"Where do you fall on Kenny Chesney?" Alexis asked and it was Kate's turn to make a face.

"I don't mind his songs as long as it's not live, but he kind of creeps me out." she responded and then felt proud for picking the right answer as Alexis grinned at her and nodded.

Castle, who had been trying to interrupt their conversation with various outbursts of the word 'Eww', finally stepped in between them. "Hey, do I need to separate you two, because this is getting uncomfortable."

"What's the matter, Castle, jealous?" she teased and watched him gulp as she slowly looked him up and down with her bottom lip between her teeth, "You'd probably look good in a cowboy hat."

Instantly, his eyes flared with an intensity she wasn't used to seeing in him. The stables disappeared, the conversation with Alexis and even the girl's presence fell away as she got lost in his eyes for a moment. She was picturing him in a black cowboy hat and the image stopped her short.

That's when it hit her and she gasped in surprise at how suddenly everything seemed to fall together. "Castle." she inhaled through his name and then seemed to recall that Alexis was standing beside her. "I just had an _awesome_ idea." she exclaimed.

It seemed to take a moment for the fog to clear from his eyes and realization to strike. She didn't realize that they were standing so closely, or that they hadn't broke eye contact in several long seconds as she smiled in triumph and he smiled in anticipation. It wasn't until Alexis cleared her throat that they looked away from each other.

"Is there something I'm missing here?" the teen asked, a searching look in her eyes and suspicion on her face as she glanced between the two of them.

Kate scrambled to come up with something, and fumbled lamely, "I was just thinking how great it would be to," she tucked her hair behind an ear as she looked to Rick for some help but he was giving her a smug smile that said he expected her to get herself out of this. "To, uh, watch the sunset over the mountains from the corral out there?" She saw that Castle was fighting an attempt to laugh at her lame recovery.

Alexis smiled brightly, apparently missing the exchange between Kate and her father, "Oh, my gosh, you have no idea!" she exclaimed excitedly and started to head for the open doors on the other side of the barn as if to look out on the view westward where the sun would eventually be setting. "It's better than it setting over the Pacific, but there's a great spot for watching it from the main house."

Kate caught Castle's eye as they followed after the teen and glared at him, certain he understood the reprimand for him leaving her hanging by herself a few minutes before. He just grinned at her and shrugged.

x.x.x

Kate loved John and Rachael immediately. They were so friendly and welcoming that it felt like she had known them forever.

John greeted them at the door, in imposing man of at least six foot four with broad shoulders, skin tanned and weathered by days on the farm and salt and pepper hair that seemed to war with his youthful exuberance. "Rick!" he exclaimed as he opened the door and then pulled Castle into a quick hug before turning to Alexis, "Wow, Lexi, you've grown a foot." he smiled at her warmly and she was next for a quick hug before he turned to Kate. "Who's your friend, Rick?"

"Kate," she answered for him, "Kate Beckett." she elaborated as she held her hand out to greet him.

The towering man sidestepped her offered hand shake and pulled her into a hug that was brisk and emphasized the strength of the man. Oddly, she didn't feel out of place in the moment and it prepared her for a few minutes later when she met Rachael and was greeted just as warmly.

The woman seemed the polar opposite of her husband. She was small, and if not for the similar tanning and the definition visible in her bare arms, Kate would have labeled her as looking fragile. She knew, though, that size didn't denote strength, and could easily deduce that the woman worked hard out here on the ranch. The strong hug and a slightly calloused finger tucking Beckett's hair behind an ear confirmed that theory.

She thought that she might be a little more put off by someone she'd never met being so free with physical contact, but something about where they were made her feel comfortable. She scratched that when she was reminded that she only let those two events go because Castle had been so relaxed and carefree in the short moments with the couple. It was her trust in him that had her opening up to these strangers. She found the whole thing more than a little odd, but with a smile she followed them in the house intent to just go along with it.

Her cheeks hurt from smiling and her ribs ached from all the laughing she had done throughout dinner as John and Rachael told stories of Alexis and Castle's visits, most of which left Castle a little pink in the cheeks. The early stories were her favorite as John went on in great detail about the trouble Rick got into learning how to ride. Alexis had taken to it like a fish to water, but Castle had a good deal more difficulty and the stories kept them in stitches through the evening.

At one point he sent her a glare that said he'd get her back after she mentioned that John teaching him how to ride probably wasn't a good thing if he was just going to use that skill to ride naked through New York on a stolen police horse. She just smiled challengingly at his implied threat. Not surprisingly, he was the first to look away.

Alexis and Lizzie had disappeared shortly after dinner leaving the adults to talk. Rachael brought some coffee in as John led them to the back porch. Kate's heart felt light as she settled onto the porch swing and looked out over the open fields. There was something about the wide open spaces that made this feel completely unreal.

Twenty four hours ago she never would have thought she'd be sitting somewhere like this, but here she was and the moment struck her in the span of a breath. That familiar feeling of comfort that she'd felt since walking through the doors, seemed to wrap her in a soothing embrace as she gazed out over the sheer vastness of this piece of land.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Castle asked as he sat beside her and gave a light flick of his foot to gently rock the swing. His tone was hushed as if he didn't want to disturb the moment for her.

"If I ever give up crime and the city," she started, following his lead in the quiet tone, "it would be for something like this."

He was smiling softly at the statement, but he didn't push for more as she might have expected him to. Instead, he was the one who broke their eye contact and a moment later ventured out of the little bubble they had created as he turned to his friends, "Any idea where the girls ran off to?"

Rachael shook her head at him as if he should already know this and perhaps someone had told them, but Kate had missed it, too. "Buttercup had a colt a few weeks ago and Lizzie took her down to see him."

"So, you think they'll be a while?" he asked, receiving a nod and a look from Rachael that said he should know better than to even ask. "Kate and I are working on something for Alexis and I just remembered that she had some kind of epiphany in the barn earlier but couldn't share because Alexis was right there." He turned to grin at Kate and that heat was back in his eyes as if he were remembering the moment just before her revelation, "I've been waiting all night to hear this."

Kate shrugged in response. "It's probably dumb." she said.

He narrowed his eyes at her and shook his head. She could see the reprimand in the set of his jaw and the tilt of his eyebrows. He definitely hated when she was down on herself about something, but now that the moment had passed she wasn't sure if it was even a good idea anymore.

"I just thought," she shrugged again, looking back to the fields of gently swaying greens and yellows, "As much as she loves it here and how she's a total city girl with a heart in the country, that we could give her a country themed birthday party. Everyone can dress like cowboys and we could get a great local band. I don't know. It's stupid."

"It's perfect." Castle responded, surprising her as his arm came around her shoulder and pulled her into his side, "It's so much more than perfect."

"Sounds like she's got Alexis pegged." John commented.

His presence reminded her of where she was and with whom. She pulled back from his embrace and straightened herself on the swing. She felt his arm fall away, but he kept it just behind her along the top of the bench seat.

"Yeah, I didn't think they were as close as they are, but did you hear what they did?" Castle asked, shock and outrage playing through his voice and expression. "They kidnapped me!" he exclaimed.

John and Rachael were laughing at him and it felt good as Kate joined in.

x.x.x

A few minutes before sunset found them joined once again by the two teenage girls. Lizzie and Alexis lay out on the grass of the backyard, staring up at the clouds in the last minutes of daylight. Their excited chatter about the colt carried up to wash over the adults who had fallen silent as if in anticipation of the sun's departure as it continued to dip lower on the horizon.

She felt her breath catch in her throat and hold there for the last moment that the sun lingered high enough over the horizon that the sky was still blue and the grass still green. She let it out on a contented sigh when the first hints of pink streaked across the bottoms of the few clouds in the sky.

It seemed that moment stilled them all as the girls on the grass fell silent and even the subtle sounds that had been everyone's movements stopped. There was only the glowing orb of the sun falling slowly behind a mountain in the far distance.

It blazed orange, surrounded by a halo of wispy clouds, hovering as if stalled just above the jagged peaks of the mountain tops. Patches of blue were still visible throughout the sky, but they faded quickly as the sun began to move further beneath the mountainous peaks.

"It's beautiful." she whispered, feeling almost breathless with the wonder of the sight before her eyes.

"Yeah." she heard Castle agree from right beside her. He seemed just as caught in the moment as her, if his tone was anything to go by.

With the sheer strength of her will, she forced her eyes from the beauty laid out before her because she was pulled by his voice. Urged by the fervent tone to actually see the reaction to this sight on his face, confirm that she wasn't the only one so enthralled with what they were standing witness to.

Her eyes met his in the fading light and her breath caught again at the realization that he had been watching her take in the sight. Her heart skidded in her chest a moment as she wondered what his breathy agreement had meant, but she forced the thoughts away and gazed back at the sunset. She was, unfortunately, distracted from the beauty of the moment by memories of his expression. Wonder and awe directed poignantly in her direction.

She didn't want to think about what that meant. She didn't want to dwell on what any of it meant. If felt good to be here in this moment with these people. It felt right. She didn't want to wonder about the arm that had been behind her that was now, somehow, since when, she didn't know, looped around her shoulders and drawing her infinitesimally closer to his side. She didn't want to think at all any more, not in this moment when the realization that she was so small in a world so big was made perfectly clear by the simple act of the earth in rotation.

She didn't want to think, and so, for the first time in as long as she could remember, she turned herself off. Everything that normally fought or raged inside her. Everything that normally soothed and counseled within her mind. Everything that warned and chastised each small choice she made. All of it, she switched off as she let herself be pulled close and even leaned into the side of the one man she probably shouldn't be leaning on. Her head resting against his shoulder, she watched the sky darken from her new, slightly angled, vantage point.

The heat of his shoulder beneath her cheek, the solid feeling of his body pressing against her side and the warmth of his arm surrounding her and gathering her close in the chilling air of burgeoning night, felt right. Despite how she might react once she let her bitter tormentor out of its captivity and that part of her mind started spouting logic and reasoning, she was going to enjoy this, because there was very little in her life that she did just for her and she was fairly certain that she deserved this moment.

It was over all too quickly, but he didn't let her go. They all stayed as they were, apparently unwilling or unable to step away from the life affirming act of watching the natural world darken to a deep blue.

x.x.x

It was almost eleven by the time they made it back to the cabin. Alexis excused herself to bed as soon as they walked in the door, giving her dad a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She surprised Beckett as she passed her on the way to the room and hugged her as well.

Kate didn't know what to do with the sudden gesture, so she simply returned it with a smile and a simple, "Good night."

Castle disappeared into his own room without a word, but she didn't feel ready to let the day end, so she began to examine the collection of books. It was an eclectic selection, to say the least. Next to Green Eggs and Ham she found Faulkner, a large leather bound copy of The Iliad sat flanked on one side by Dickens' _The Adventures of Oliver Twist_ and on the other side Shel Silverstein's _Where the Sidewalk Ends_.

She felt a wistful smile pull at her lips as she reached out almost reverently and grabbed the book of children's poems off the shelf. The familiar weight of the hardcover felt good in her hands. She could see from a single glance at that white cover that this book had taken as much abuse over the years as her own copy had.

Memories of lying curled up with her mom as they read the poems over and over again had her suddenly blurry-eyed and clutching tightly to the book.

She didn't realize Castle had come back until he was reaching around her and carefully prying the book out of her hands. "Hey." he greeted her softly, "Put this on."

She looked down to where he was trying to pass her something, replacing the book with, a sweater? A hooded sweater. She blinked back the tears and looked to him with a question in her eyes.

"I want to show you something, you'll need that."

His tone was low and soothing, drawing her back out of her thoughts of the past and into the present, a time of confusion as she continued to stare at the large black sweater. It was tattered, she noticed. Not the whole thing, just the back of it. Frayed strands of cloth pulled loose in patches.

She forced herself not to think on it too much as she pulled the large garment over her head, practically swimming in the abundance of material as it swamped her. Once she tugged it into place, feeling the warm weight of it, she looked back at him. He had obviously put on a similar sweater in the time he was out of the room. He seemed aware of her hesitation as he reached out and lightly grasped her wrist.

She was grateful for the gesture and his apparent understanding that had he gone a little lower she might have run for the hills. He didn't have the book in hand anymore, she noticed as she blindly followed his careful path. Absently, she noted that his sweater bore the same fraying and wear as the one she was now wearing. It was an odd thought, because the one on her was obviously his as well if the scent of him clinging to the fabric was any indication.

There was a hatch in the ceiling near the kitchen that she hadn't noticed before and Castle reached up, pulling on a handled and then drawing down the steps to the attic. She didn't know why she wasn't protesting, but something about his serious expression and the careful way he led her with him, left her more than a little curious.

Castle flipped on a light and she realized that the attic was little more than half the height of a regular room down the middle, the gradual slope of the roof making each side of the room slant down all the way to the floor. He must have realized that she was going to follow him, because he released his hold on her as he led the way to the far side of the space.

They had to crouch all the way across the attic and she was glad for low shoes and the small cabin when it didn't take long to get there. Castle pushed open a window once they reached the end and then disappeared out it. She stood, hunched in the space for a moment, looking at the spot he had just been standing in and not understanding what he was doing. His head poked back in and he grinned at her, the first hint of him coming back with the teasing words, "You coming?"

Figuring she'd come this far, not to mention more than a little curious as to where he was leading her, Beckett still managed an eye roll as she moved through the window onto a strip of roofing along the back of the cabin. "Impatient much?" she asked sarcastically.

The light of the moon illuminated his smile as he craned his neck behind him as if informing her of his intent before he turned and made his way over to climb up the foot and a half that put him on the long strip of gradual sloping roof that ran the length of the cabin and overlooked the fields and corral.

She stared after him for a long moment. She hadn't climbed around on rooftops since she was a kid, and they had usually been flat apartment style ones. Still, the rough roofing shingles under her feet made her feel secure despite the angle she was walking at.

She didn't know what she expected to find when she followed after him, but he was sitting near the middle of the roof, his feet down on the shingles to keep him in place. "What are you doing?"

"Come here." he said simply and somewhere in her it didn't feel like a question. She followed along, not sure why, but deeply curious about this slightly pensive side to him.

She carefully made her way across, glad to note the slant of the actual roof was more gradual than the part they had climbed out on from the window. Sitting beside him, she finally turned and asked what she'd been wanting to since the moment he passed her the sweater, "What are we doing?"

She almost forgot how to breathe as a moment of panic filled her when Castle reached out. She didn't move, perhaps thinking he was like a T-Rex and if she didn't move he wouldn't be able to see her. Slowly, his hands got closer until they passed by her cheeks and reached behind her. Something fluttered in her stomach as she thought he was about to pull her to him and do. . . something. She didn't let her mind work out the details on that and simply waited feeling uneasy.

It took her a moment to realize he had reached behind her on either side of her and grasped something at the back of her neck. A moment later she felt him carefully pull up the oversized hood and rest it over her head. His hands moved away faster than they had approached and she was left wondering if he was treating her like a scared animal that might jump and run at sudden movements. She almost laughed at how accurate a description that probably was in the moment.

She watched as he did the same with his own sweater, drawing the hood up around his head until his face was cast into shadows. Then he was lying back against the roof, his knees bent to keep the soles of his shoes planted on the roofing for traction, his hands folded carefully over his stomach as he lay across the roof and looked up at the sky.

The tattered nature of the sweaters finally made sense as she considered the rough shingles catching on the fabric as he lay up here looking at the sky. She looked up; trying to figure out what drew him here. Even with the hood blocking part of her field of vision, she almost gasped at the sheer number of stars visible in the sky.

She didn't need any other convincing as she lay back and copied the position of the man beside her. Once she was prone, the edges of the hoody fell away from her eyes. She could feel the roof gripping her everywhere she touched it and she was grateful for the sweater and her jeans.

They stayed there a long time; silence their companion as they each apparently got lost in thoughts that were theirs alone. She couldn't have said how long it took the moon to move from point A to point B, but the silence kept it company from one random spot in the sky to where she stopped following it because Castle finally spoke.

"I come up and watch the stars every time we're out here. It puts my life in perspective." he informed her softly, as if concerned he might interrupt her own ruminations. "It's my little secret." he added and she wondered if that was to calm the random thought in her head of who else has worn this sweater and shared this very moment with him.

"Why?"

"That's not a very direct question, Detective." he pointed out lightly.

"Why show me if it's a secret?" she elaborated, though she was sure he expected her to ask why he came up here. It was the safer question.

She heard the rough sound of fabric against the shingles and could imagine him shrugging as he took a moment to find the words he wanted to say. "You looked like you could use a little of what this spot gives to me."

She thought about it for a while, just looking up at the universe that seemed to surround them and blanket everything. "Thanks, Rick." She was a little surprised at herself for dropping his first name so casually, but then she brushed off the thought.

This wasn't work or even time spent in the presence of others while they both had their masks of confidence and humor in place. This was him sharing a bit of himself with her, sharing something he admitted that he kept to himself intentionally, and that was too personal for her to stick with business.

Swallowing heavily, she decided she would return the gesture. Her voice came out soft, but stronger than she had anticipated, stronger than it would have in that moment downstairs as he took the book from her hands. "That was my favorite book growing up." she explained. She was close enough that as he tensed from the words, just the slightest, she could feel it.

She didn't know if it was a reaction to the fact that she was speaking, what she was sharing, or an effort to fight reaching out to her. She knew he fought that in these situations. He couldn't hide it and it had always tempted her to accept the unspoken offer of comfort. He was a father, he understood more than anybody how much it would pain his daughter to lose someone she cared about so much. She could imagine he wore that same look from the few times she'd watched him catch himself before he could reach out in similar situations, but she didn't look at him to confirm it.

"For years, if I was picking the book before bed, that was the one I'd pull off the shelf." this time, when the memories came, they washed over her with warmth and a smile as opposed to the tears she had felt trying to escape earlier. "She'd lay with her arm around me, tucking me into her side with my head resting against her shoulder as we both held the book and took turns."

She felt the gentle graze of the back of his hand against her arm even through the thick sweater. The small act was probably the most he'd allow himself to assume on the part of offering comfort. He knew she'd throw it back in his face if he even hinted that she was weak, but tonight she didn't want to fight. Instead she just talked. She told him about that book and memorizing half the poems in it, but not caring because when they read them together it was like she was reading them for the first time again.

She pushed at his hand gently when it came back again, and he moved it away quickly as if embarrassed to have been caught in the act of trying to sooth her or worried about what the ramification for that gesture would be. She propped up on an elbow just slightly, enough to reach and push his arm further up and out of the way.

She didn't let herself overthink that she was not only accepting of comfort from Castle, but initiating it. She adjusted herself until she was lying again, this time with her head using his shoulder as a pillow as she continued to look up at the sky. His arm stayed loose around her shoulders, letting her decide what she needed from him without pushing and she appreciated his restraint.

The silence dragged on again, but it was comfortable, nothing like she would have expected from accepting this from him. Letting anyone close enough to comfort her was not something she ever did, not since she was a teenager with a broken heart. Not since her mom. She realized.

She felt Castle's low soothing voice rumbled through his chest, but it took her a moment to realize what he was saying. She smiled through the threat of tears as she realized he was reciting a poem from the book from memory. The tears stayed buried as the words floated around them and she was grateful that he had chosen a fun and silly poem to recite, because it banished the tears that had threatened.

'Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too' rolled smoothly off his tongue into the night and she felt herself relax into him further. He finished and she realized she didn't want the silence anymore. "Another?" she asked, feeling tentative and shy in her request. Perhaps that was the only one he knew.

His chuckle was different then, almost embarrassed, but he didn't speak except to start into another. When he began to recite the lengthy 'Sara Cynthia Sylvia Stout' she was certain he'd miss something in that one. The vast array of foods listed had always tripped her up in memorizing that one. She was pleasantly surprised as his voice rang out softly with a gentle lilt and a steady cadence and he made it through the whole thing without even stumbling once.

"How often did you read that to Alexis?" she asked, feeling suddenly intrigued with this side of him, the fatherly side, though 'suddenly' probably wasn't the most accurate word.

"About a million." He exaggerated. She could tell from his voice that he was smiling. He didn't wait for her to speak again and instead he launched into 'Smart', one of her all-time favorites from the book and she found herself laughing along as she always had as a child.

x.x.x

A/N: The reason I didn't post all 8000 words yesterday is because I wasn't done, had only made it up to the sun starting to set when I was too exhausted to continue. As you can see from the length here this went even further than the 4000 words I cut from last night's post.

BTW I'm not Shel Silverstein and don't own Where the Sidewalk Ends, but love love loved that book when I was younger.

Review that made my day: **Beetlebug**, who is apparently going to spend this entire story on the edge wondering when I'm going to do something crazy like drown a kitten. I love that you know me so well after so short a time on here, but relax. This is just supposed to be fun. Yes, it's completely out of my comfort zone and not like my other stories, so hearing that you like it anyway is such a relief.

I might throw in a little action or a smidge of angst to keep things interesting when I get bored, but this one is supposed to pull me out of the depression that writing To Have and To Hold put me in. It seems to be effective because I'm smiling a lot more this week than I have been for the past few months.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Castle came awake slowly, but refused to let his eyes open. His hesitation was due to the fact that he didn't want to find out that the past twenty four hours had been a dream. Instead, he lay there thinking back on the experience he had been living in since the day before.

Kate Beckett, ultimate mystery of his life, had been some altered form of herself that had fascinated him, not more than usual, but in a different way. It seemed that since they had arrived she'd been more subdued, wistful, but ultimately, for the most part, she seemed happy. Possibly content was a better word and it was an emotion that suited her remarkably well.

He'd found himself in an odd position throughout the day where she'd set him up and he'd have a quip on the tip of his tongue, but bite it back at the last second. Something about the shift in her had left him scrambling for footing.

He couldn't really reconcile the Beckett he knew with the Kate on this trip.

Something happened in the moments between light and darkness that he wouldn't be able to explain if he had a thousand pages. He wouldn't be complaining about it any time soon, and if not for the fact that it had left him completely conflicted he would have enjoyed it.

They had stayed a couple hours with John and Rachael after night had fallen, but the shift in Kate was tangible. She seemed to get lost in thought more frequently, but he did what he could to steer the conversation and not draw attention to her.

She'd pulled away from him as soon as conversation resumed, but she didn't seem awkward about having leaned into him as they watched the sun fall behind the mountains. If she was going to step back from that as if it never happened or didn't mean anything, then he'd take her lead. This was uncharted territory.

He knew what he wanted that gesture to mean, but he was also keenly aware that in all likelihood that was far from her intent when she'd leaned into him. He knew it didn't mean anything beyond sharing a moment with a friend, but that didn't stop him from cataloguing every moment to pull out on those nights when he found himself frustrated with the wait.

He had found comfort in the 'friend zone', content to live in the moment with her as he sat back and waited for something to shift their friendship to another level. He knew it was possible that shift would never happen, but if that meant he got to have moments with her where they watched a sun set or stared at the stars, then he was finding that he didn't mind at all.

He finally let his eyes open and smiled at the fact that he really was in their cabin at the ranch. He scanned the room briefly as he stretched and his eyes fell on the sweater thrown casually across a chair in the corner of his room. He laced his fingers behind his head and stared at the ceiling above his bed, probably not far off of where they had laid out watching the stars the night before.

Castle's mind went back to that and he thought about how he had stared at the sweatshirt in his hand, contemplating the logic of doing what he was thinking. It had been a day that completely threw him off and he was second guessing himself so much that he didn't know what he was doing anymore.

What he did know, though, was that he wanted to do something about that faraway contemplative look that had stolen Kate's expression and focus throughout the day. He almost couldn't wrap his brain around all that had transpired since waking up.

It had been like some weird alternate reality to have Beckett with him and Alexis, here of all places. When he had suggested she go with them sometime, he had never thought that she actually would agree to it. But a moment ago as Alexis said good night to them, the look on Kate's face had given away what he hadn't realized.

She did care about Alexis, enough to face what was, despite the moments of joy, an obviously emotional situation for her. She was doing a good job keeping the bits of sadness from his daughter, but he hadn't missed the brief moments of introspection or the wistful way she'd gaze out over something and seem to lose herself in contemplation or possibly memories of her time with her mother.

He shook off thoughts of trying to make sense of her casually leaning into his side as the sun set. His fingers were gripping the sweatshirt tightly and he forced himself to stop overthinking everything. Forced himself to stop thinking altogether, and headed out to the living room, hoping she hadn't gone to bed while he'd been standing indecisively on the other side of his bedroom door.

He smiled when he saw her still up and standing in front of the bookshelf. He should have known that she'd be drawn to the books. The smile quickly dropped away when he got close enough to see the white knuckle hold she had on an old favorite book for him and Alexis. Her eyes were wide and bright as she clutched it tightly.

That had sealed it; he wasn't going to back out now, because she obviously needed to take a moment in reflection of something bigger than the thoughts that she was lost in.

It was a testament to exactly how lost in thought she was that she even let him lead her up to the roof in the first place. He almost cringed at the blatantly romantic setting and hoped she didn't get the wrong idea. He wasn't trying to push her towards anything, not this time. It wasn't about romancing her or setting a scene. It was about showing her something that always humbled him and put life in a certain perspective that nothing else seemed to accomplish for him.

He had resolved himself a while ago to just being there for her when she'd let him. While he was still holding out a little bit of hope that someday things would be different, he didn't want to push her, especially in a situation where she was obviously not feeling herself.

He didn't expect her revelation after he told her about his secret spot. He hadn't brought her there to pump her for information and get her to reveal another aspect of her childhood to him. He definitely didn't go up there intending to end up as they had.

He shook his head at the memory of that flash of fear when she'd shoved his hand away. There was a moment where he thought she might shove him off the roof for trying to reach out to her and the next moment when he was glad to have been lying down. If not for that, he might have toppled off himself in surprise that she was not only accepting of his silent offer of comfort, but moving to it willingly.

The silence had felt as if it stretched on as far as the glittering night sky while he fought his natural instinct to pull her closer and speak the hollow reassurances that seem to pop out of his mouth in those situations. He wanted to say something to make her feel better or take her mind off of the sadness that seemed to tinge even the happiest memories of her mom.

He didn't know why he did what he did. He'd probably never know why the poem rolled off his tongue as they lay there. He was actually shocked at himself as he started speaking and he felt a nervous clench in his gut that he might have chosen the exact wrong thing to do. This was almost the position she had described sharing with her mom as they read that book. This was the words she had shared with the woman herself and he almost worried that he was stealing them from her mother's mouth.

He hadn't felt her tense and she didn't ask him to stop, in fact it almost felt as if she was relaxing into his side. It blocked out the nervousness and fear as he finished.

He almost expected she'd pull away as the words faded out into the night, but her quiet, tentative voice spoke out a single word that almost shocked him. "Another?"

He laughed then, not at her and he hoped as soon as the sound broke from him that she wouldn't take it as that. He laughed at himself and the fact that he had not only spent time reading that book to Alexis, but as a kid it had been one of his favorites when he was feeling whimsical. He'd probably be able to recite the entire thing if he was asked. It seemed she had, sort of, and he didn't have words for that.

Instead he just started another one and when that finished, another. He felt like they were in a time vortex, locked in a world that was just them, gazing up at the stars and sharing comfortable laughter over something they unknowingly shared from childhood. She took over a couple of times and it was almost weird to hear the words from a voice other than his own, but he just grinned at the slow steady cadence she set.

Sometimes she put emphasis in different places than he had while reading and the differences let him experience those works again as if for the first time.

He didn't know how many they'd gotten through before he heard her yawn in the middle of reciting one. It was a well-placed yawn because he had just felt his own tired mind wander through to places it didn't need to go, like the thought of her lying in a small bed reading those to her kids someday and the sudden desire to know if those kids would have his blue eyes.

It was a sobering thought that led to him suggesting that they call it a night.

It wasn't that he'd never thought about having more kids someday, the thought had actually occurred to him in every one of his few serious relationships only to be nearly immediately dismissed with all the potentially negative sides to bringing children into those situations. It wasn't even about being in a relationship with the woman lying against his chest; because that was something he'd given far too much thought to in the past few years.

It was the fact that those two completely separate thoughts had fused themselves into a single vision that was not what this moment of friendly companionship should have inspired. Or any moment with her for that matter.

Visions of Kate Beckett in bed were supposed to include him and an inevitable lack of clothes for them both. It was safer imagery.

It was just shocking enough to remind him that he was getting ahead of himself and certainly headed down a path that would likely lead to disappointment. It was just the type of thought that was keen on derailing his waiting. He had actually given up on the thought that the waiting would ever pan out to anything. If it were going to, it would have already. The ball was in her court and he couldn't see her volleying it back his direction any time soon.

That's what made thoughts of what their future progeny would look so far from a safe mental image.

The knock on the door interrupted his reverie a moment before Alexis peeked her head in his room. "You going to sleep all day?" she asked with a huge grin lighting her face.

For the first time he let his eyes fall on the clock and almost laughed at her, "It's barely eight." he complained, surprised at having woke himself considering he hadn't climbed into bed until well after two and sleep had taken its time in coming that night.

"Beckett and I have been up forever." she informed him.

He shooed her out so he could get dressed. He was left wondering if Alexis woke Kate early that morning or if the thoughts and memories that they had unearthed on the roof had kept her awake all night. He was certain that she probably wouldn't let on to which was the case, but vowed to find out somehow.

The smell of coffee and fresh muffins greeted him on exiting his bedroom and he grinned as Kate met his searching eyes with a shy smile as she passed him a mug of hot steamy goodness. "Morning." she greeted him.

The tentative greeting left him sure they were back in the same place as they were after the sunset, pushing it off as just one more thing to add to the ever growing list of stuff they would probably never talk about. "This is a nice change of pace." he responded. "You giving me coffee," he elaborated when she cocked an eyebrow at him. He watched relief earn him a small smile as he joked as if it were any other day.

"I didn't spit in it." she retorted and he realized he had been staring into the cup since it had been handed to him.

"I wonder if you know my tastes as well as I do yours?" he asked casually as he finally took a slow sip of the hot liquid. "Mmm, yeah, you make a good cup o' Joe."

"Not hard to figure out that the guy who puts dessert in an omelet would take his coffee with enough sugar wipe out half of the diabetic population of Long Island." she retorted and passed him a muffin.

"Eat up, Dad, we got a big day and you're holding up the show." Alexis announced as she claimed a seat at the small dining table and started into her own breakfast.

After savoring a bite of blueberry heaven, he turned to Alexis, "We should make it a point to get out to the store sometime today, make something for dinner tonight so John and Rachael won't be trying to feed us this entire trip."

Alexis rolled her eyes and he felt the urge to glare at Beckett, because his kid was getting way too good at that and he was sure she had some hand in it. "I already tried that this morning. You know how they are."

She turned to Kate then, "They never let us do anything when we're up here. They say it's part of the boarding fees, but I'm pretty sure they lie. We've been here lots of times when the cabins are all full and the only people up at the main house for meals are us."

Kate didn't address the question directly, instead she turned to him. "Is there some back story as to why they like you so much?" she inquired.

"I'm a likable guy." he responded casually with a shrug. He could tell from the way her eyes narrowed that she wasn't going to let it go, but to his surprise that fell away quickly and she just shrugged.

"I'm going to head into town with Lizzie tonight for a little while, anyway, so I'll pick up a few snacks and things. We have to do S'mores before bed tonight or it's going to feel like we're missing out on something."

Castle nodded at his daughter's logic and Kate seemed to just take it all in stride.

x.x.x

"How long has it been?" he asked Beckett as she stood, almost apprehensively, next to Othello.

She looked at him and he watched the way she straightened her shoulders as if she was being asked to prove herself. "I was fifteen." she responded after a long moment, not meeting his eyes.

He didn't push her, simply stood beside her as she stroked her hand soothingly along the neck of the horse. He knew, though, could feel her hesitation.

Alexis and Lizzie were already ambling out of the barn on their horses under the pretext that they had needed to return to Lizzie's house to fetch something or other. Castle knew it was just an excuse to warm up their horses and spend more time catching up while he helped Kate get situated. He had caught the look Alexis shot him once Othello was out of his stall and saddled up. She had noticed the trepidation in the detective as well and was leaving her father to deal with it.

Alexis was a smart kid. He knew once they were up and moving, Kate's inhibitions would fall away and it would all come back to her very naturally. How could it not when she was good at everything she did?

It was that few minutes before she remembered that she could handle this where she was in a place that he knew she wouldn't want people to witness, knew she'd feel as if she were being perceived as weak, which was almost laughable. He hadn't realized, however, that his daughter was just as perceptive to her needs as he seemed to be.

Holding Vader's reins, he casually moved a little closer to her. "It's like riding a bike." he finally responded. "A really big, muscular bike with its own brain."

Kate smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. "Answer something for me, would you, Castle?"

Her tone was suddenly very serious and it seemed at odds with the situation they had been in such a short few seconds before. "Sure." he responded, and while he knew she could ask him anything and he'd tell it to her straight in this moment, he was apprehensive for what she might want to know.

Kate turned a little to face him more directly, "Did you name your horse Vader because he was black or did you buy a black horse so you could name him that?"

He didn't have time to respond before she turned back to the task at hand. She slipped a foot in the stirrup, grabbed the saddle horn and leveraged herself up gracefully onto the back of the horse.

He laughed, it was such a great question and perhaps that had been the thing she needed to take her mind off what she was doing. A little mystery could apparently go a long way in distracting her from her own insecurities. "Chicken or the egg, Detective Beckett. Chicken or the egg." he hedged his response as he followed her lead, feeling far less graceful than she had been by the time he settled in the saddle.

He didn't avoid answering the question because it would have been embarrassing to admit that he'd picked the horse to fit the name. He did it to see the flash of white teeth and the curve of her lips as she turned a knowing smile in his direction before leading Othello out of the barn.

x.x.x

A/N: I have had a great vacation weekend with all of you and this story. I now have to go back and spend a little time with my other work because it's nearing completion and feeling neglected. I should be back with a new chapter on this in a few days and we'll get Kate's impression of the picnic spot Castle was so enamored with.

Review that made my day: **Bella Paige**, because I love seeing the random thoughts that pop into your head as you're reading along like what you'd name your horse if you had one. If I had a horse I would name it Cadence, but I would never have a horse because I'm a city girl.

That being said, any discussion of horses or about them is from research and interviews I conducted with a horse owning co-worker. Since the closest I've ever been to riding a horse is in a tight circle on that horse ride at the fair when I was about four years old, any errors in accuracy are my fault for even starting a story that has content I know basically nothing about. Am I nervous? Uh. . . perhaps a little. Can I do it? Is it cocky of me to say 'certainly'? I guess we'll all find out together in the coming chapters.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

It took all of ten paces before Kate felt the trepidation melt away from her completely. She settled into the casual sway of the horse's natural gait and after a moment it felt like she hadn't spent so many years away.

She turned an easy smile towards Castle as he caught up with her. Watching him move so easily with the towering black stallion was a sight she tried not to enjoy so much. The flexing muscles of the horse rippled beneath his short black coat and despite how Castle sat atop him looking as if he were lazily along for the ride, Beckett saw the sure and steady movements he made that matched Vader's.

She felt a distinctly feminine flutter in her stomach at the way he casually made the miniscule adjustments to match his horse. The muscle control involved in maintaining his position looked effortless and she almost let her mind take her to other places where she'd feel the urge to blush. Fortunately, they rounded the main house and met up with Alexis and Lizzie who were packing a few things into their saddle bags.

Beckett was certain they had already secured enough provisions for a week in the woods, but she bit her tongue about whatever else they were packing away. Once she had gotten past her hesitation, she found herself interested in and intent on getting the full Castle family vacation experience.

They scattered a little as they made their way along a path that, if she remembered correctly, would lead to the overgrown trail head. Castle had pulled ahead to say something to Alexis and they fell into a conversation. She was content to observe them in this unusual setting. Father and daughter. She smiled at the picture they made and suddenly wondered why it hadn't occurred to her to pack a camera for this trip.

This was an amazing shot. There was a beautiful background, perfect natural lighting, and the interesting contrast of Castle's jet black horse beside Alexis' pure white one that could speak to so many levels of artistic flare. She had just snapped a mental picture, when it occurred to her that while there was little to no signal out here, that phone in her pocket was more than capable of capturing the moment.

One hand on the reins, careful not to lose her focus on actually riding so as not to end up on her butt for the effort, she finally managed to wiggle her phone free of her jeans. She snapped a couple of shots from behind and then watched as they gently pulled to a stop. She followed their lead and halted Othello's forward progress several feet behind them. She watched as Castle pointed to something off in the distance to one side of them with a smile on his face.

She managed to snap a shot of them both looking where he was pointing, catching their faces in profile, matching grins in place that spoke of their genetic ties. She snapped off a couple more, but none seemed to match that single moment.

With a little grin, she slipped her phone back away, hoping that no one had noticed that little foray into photography, because she suddenly had the perfect gift for the girl's approaching birthday.

Not long after, she found herself riding beside the other teen. Lizzie was, physically, the polar opposite of Alexis. Her deep tan and dark hair set her apart, but her genuine smile and the bright youthful exuberance seemed to be something she had in common with Alexis. They fell into easy conversation as Kate asked her questions about life on the ranch and Lizzie was more than happy to answer them.

It didn't take long for them to reach the trail. They had to go through the initial entry of the path single file and Beckett had to duck her head several times to avoid overhanging branches. It proved to only last the first several feet and then the trail was clear and maintained. They were once again able to ride in twos, but this time Lizzie fell in with Alexis and she and Castle hung back at a slightly slower pace.

It seemed there was no indication of the word hurry in their vocabulary on this day and she found it to be refreshing. In a life that was too often spent chasing down leads, hunting killers, running all over a busy city and never seeming to have a moment to breathe, this was something she didn't know she'd been missing. The smell of mountain air, trees, various plants and just a hint of dust from the trail was doing for her what aromatherapy baths had been unsuccessful with in the past month.

Katherine Beckett was relaxed.

The sudden realization almost had her reverting to a state of tension, but her slight jolt had somehow telegraphed to Othello and he took a stuttered step before continuing. It was enough to tell her that she had to stop worrying about relaxing. It wasn't a crime to have a good time and it definitely wasn't against any laws to be happy.

She turned her eyes to Castle to find he was giving her an odd look. He had likely seen the stumble and probably wanted to make sure she was ok, but he was biting his tongue. Again. That was starting to get frustrating.

He hadn't teased or mocked, no real 'Castle' style jokes since they had gotten there and now he was withholding his questions too. It was so unlike him, but the experience was fusing with the rest of her relaxed and spontaneous mindset that this environment seemed to bring out. It was not altogether unpleasant and in fact had added a layer to this whole trip that she hadn't been expecting.

Some part of her had thought that coming here with him would subject her to some strange form of ritualistic torture. The way Castle could get under her skin, or how he sometimes got so excited about something that he didn't know when to stop talking. Those factors she had expected to be amplified in this setting, but they had been subdued. Much like the man himself.

At the very least, she expected at least a few general innuendos, but even those had been absent. Something about that threw her off at the same time that it put her at ease and she was conflicted. She was glad for the reprieve and at the same time, somehow, disappointed.

She stopped herself from dwelling on that, because she could already feel herself tempted to push his buttons until he snapped back into the classic Castle she'd known all along. Instead, she turned her head to smile at him. "Thank you." she said simply, hoping he'd get the point, but seeing from the look in his eyes that he hadn't. "For letting me tag along this weekend. It's been," she tried to think of an appropriate word, but all that came to mind was "fun." It came out sounding like she was shocked by the thought of having fun here with them. As she thought about her concerns for the trip, that was a well-founded point.

"As I recall," he pointed out, his tone was light and he had that gentle teasing note in it that was so sporadic over the past day, "I didn't have much say in the entire trip." He grinned, as if he needed to make sure she understood that he wasn't complaining. It had been clear, though, so she just smiled back and then shifted her eyes back to the trail.

She noticed that Lizzie and Alexis had pulled ahead quite a ways, but Castle seemed to be alright with the distance so she didn't mention it. Instead she guided Othello just a little closer to him and dropped her voice. "Are you going to tell me about John and Rachael?"

With a brief glance at him, she saw he was warring with whether he would or not and she hoped that he didn't use this moment to spin another one of his stories to cover whatever it really was. She liked the couple who ran the place and she was genuinely curious about their ties to Castle.

He gave her a sad smile before directing his gaze firmly in front of him as he spoke. "I met John when I started looking for a horse for Alexis." he finally started and she could tell from the slightly choppy way he'd started the story that this was going to be his truth. A truth that obviously wasn't easy to talk about.

"Castle, you don't have to," she started, but he cut her off with a casual hand gesture.

He was silent for a long moment before he finally took a breath and released it slowly. "I was in a pretty bad place then. Professionally, I was on top of the world, I could have anything that I ever wanted. Personally, however, I was a mess."

Suddenly, Beckett wasn't so sure she wanted to hear this story.

"I was struggling to raise Alexis alone, trying to be there for her, but even I could see I was floundering." he quirked his mouth in a self-deprecating smile. "I could blame the fact that I never had a father to show me what to do, but that's crap. I just knew that I wasn't enough for her, you know? I hate to admit it, even now, but I'm pretty sure I screwed something up along the way, because kids should have two parents. They should have a mother and a father who are there for them." he shot her a suddenly serious glare, but the reprimand he spoke was not for her, "I wouldn't trade her for anything, understand? It's just that sometimes I'd get really down about how horribly I'd screwed up in not making sure she'd have a mom, too."

"So you bought her a pony?" Beckett asked, hoping to hedge back to safer water.

His response was a suddenly sheepish expression as he shrugged and gave her a self-conscious smile. "Sort of." His smile became almost wistful, like he was remembering the day for a moment. "It didn't look much like it does now. Did you see the little office out front?" he asked.

"The mobile home trailer?" she asked, though she knew the answer.

Castle nodded, "That was John's house." Castle frowned a moment as if unsure how to continue. "I remember Alexis and Lizzie playing together in the yard while I talked over the specifics with John. She was such a sad little thing, like her heart was breaking even while playing games that most kids would at least smile over if not outright laugh." He heaved a heavy sigh. "I guess it's my naturally nosy tendency, but I asked him about it."

"You're nosy?" she attempted to lighten the mood a little. This was obviously heavier than she had thought when she asked the question.

He ignored her as he continued and she was left wondering if that's what he felt like when she barreled through his attempt to lighten things in her life. "Lizzie's mom had just died a couple of months before. Breast cancer." he told her. "Suddenly, my problem of raising a kid on my own because my wife liked to sleep around, didn't seem like such a big deal."

"So you bonded over your single father status?" Kate asked, hesitant because something told her there was more there that he wasn't telling her yet.

"Not at first." his expression became hard.

She could see something like frustration bubbling in him and she didn't know if it was with his inability to find words or something about that time in his life. She decided to just wait him out.

"He took me to the barn. It was just a little thing back then, only four stalls and a storage area for hay to keep the horses fed through the winter. I remember looking at the horse, but really not knowing a thing about them. He started spouting off all these facts about her and I couldn't do much more than smile and nod because I didn't have a clue."

He looked at her sideways and seemed to ask her without words if she really wanted him to continue. She wasn't sure if she did or not, but she gave him a little nod anyway.

"It wasn't until we were shaking on the agreement that my little fireball came storming into the barn and informed me that there was no way she was going to let me take Lizzie's horse from her." He shook his head, "Even back then she had been able to get whatever she wanted from me. I did have the presence of mind to think of all the things that John had said, but none of them pointed to the fact that it was his daughter's horse he was going to sell me for Alexis. He was going to sell the horse of a girl who had just lost her mom to some guy who probably had more money than brains."

"What did you do?" she knew it should have come out more curious, but it sounded accusatory and she almost winced right along with him at the tone.

"I bought the horse."

Kate was pretty sure she was gaping at him, because that didn't make any sense. How did they end up here in a friendly place if Castle had taken his kid's horse?

"He was struggling. I don't know if I had ever seen anyone trying so hard in my life. Buried in hospital bills for a wife that didn't make it, fighting to keep his family farm alive enough to feed and clothe a little girl Alexis' age." Castle shook his head in disbelief, "Then, do you know what he did?"

She obviously didn't so she stayed silent, trying to decipher where this was going and pretty sure she'd figured it out by now.

"He invited us to stay for dinner." he informed her quietly. "We sat in that tiny little trailer, the whole thing smaller than the living room that Alexis and I had back home, and shared a meal with the two of them." He scoffed, "I felt like I was back in college where we had to cook on a little electric griddle. He made us macaroni and cheese with chili. Alexis loved it; it's still an old favorite comfort food to her. It just tasted like bitterness and disgusting self-righteousness to me."

As he continued, she encouraged him with a question here or there as he seemed to pause or hesitate. He was the one being guarded this time and she would have smiled about the role reversal if it weren't so puzzling. She didn't understand, as he weaved the story of meeting John why he wouldn't want to share it with her. It was one of those things that she would have expected him to boast about.

Not about the circumstances of the meeting but his benevolence and the story's easy detailing of the big heart that she knew he had, but rarely put on display.

She could almost feel the emotions of the situation as Castle spoke. The way that meeting John at that point in his life had shifted him from pity and probably depression to a more positive perspective, or at least a more accepting one.

Even with Castle's vivid language, she found it difficult to picture this place as he was describing it. Coming in years before to meet the strong confident and cheerful man she'd encountered the day before living in a small mobile home with everything falling apart around him, wasting away because he wouldn't eat unless there was more than enough for Lizzie.

She wanted to reach out to Castle, smooth those little frown lines off his forehead. For the first time since they started out, she wished they weren't riding so she could do just that. "You saved his farm, didn't you?"

"I just bought the horse. He did the rest on his own. John is a smart guy, he just fell on hard times and I knew with a little help he could get back on track." he responded.

"Paid more than the asking price?" she was certain of it, but for some reason he was trying to hedge his way around the situation. Something about not wanting to ruin his bad boy image with a touching tale of a pony, she was sure.

"Well, I needed to make sure there was lifetime lodging for the horse and got him to sign a contract stating I had first rights of refusal should he decide to sell any of his property."

"Did he?" she asked.

"A little over a year later we were talking over some things and he had this idea for opening his own boarding business for horses. He needed the startup money for building and expansion and I had fallen in love with this little piece of land that was such a small part of his property that he had no problem giving me a 20 year lease on it."

"Have I seen your piece of his land?"

Castle smiled at her and then gestured ahead of them to where Alexis and Lizzie had turned and disappeared between two large trees. "You're about to." She saw the grin that took him over as he gestured and she could practically see him lost in old memories and excited to make new ones.

Castle led the way down a smaller trail where Alexis and Lizzie had disappeared. With him in front of her and the narrow treed edges of the trail, she couldn't see ahead to where they were going.

They reached a clearing and Castle led Vader off to one side, giving Kate her first look at their destination. She surprised herself when a small gasp escaped her lips. Castle's description paled in comparison to reality.

It was like stepping back in time as she watched the two girls make their way towards the water. She could hear their light laughter rolling back towards her and Rick, but it was relegated to the background as she took in the sight in front of her.

The thick growth of trees parted in a large horseshoe open only to the stone face of a small cliff. The opening let the rays of sun burst through to light the subtle mist rising where the water splashed down and broke the surface of the small pool of water. The falling was not violent, nor was it sedate; it was simply a steady flow that rolled into the pool below with a soft shushing sound.

Kate spotted the boulder that Castle had mentioned was perfect for sunning peeking through the long grass along the bank closest to them. She vaguely noted that the soft grey tone probably soaked up just enough heat from the sun without getting over heated.

Still trying to take in the unique sights and sounds surrounding them, lock them away in a similar place with that mental picture from earlier, she absently followed Castle to where the girls had dismounted and tethered their horses.

Along the outlet from the glistening pool, a slow but steady stream worked through the creek bed, sluicing across the rounded river rocks and providing a refreshing sip for the horses after the effort of hauling their passengers all this way. She stopped beside the other horses, but didn't join the others on the ground. Kate was rather enjoying the view from up there, taking it all in just a moment longer.

A loud peel of laughter broke her contemplation and she watched for a minute while Alexis and Lizzie ran off before stopping near the pond and grappling together as if attempting to push one another into the water. After a moment, they broke apart with matching laughs before they quickly stripped down to their bathing suits and jumped in together.

They squealed on impact with what was probably frigid water. Thinking about it, she was certain she wouldn't have to worry about the bathing suit she had worried about when she put it on under her clothes. It wasn't even June yet. The creak was likely still the winter run off and she could already imagine the way it would sap the breath from her on contact. No, she probably hadn't even needed the suit, because she preferred warm baths to a cold swim.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Castle's voice cut in and she glanced down to see him looking up at her with a small smile and his hand outstretched as if to help her down.

"It's incredible." She responded, her tone surprisingly breathy as she reached out to accept his offered hand before she could talk herself out of it. Swinging her leg over, she hopped down. She felt his free hand at her waist a moment, as if to make sure she was steady as she landed, but it was there and gone so fast that she wasn't sure if she had imagined it.

Her eyes finally left the sight of the girls splashing each other and giggling and she watched as his head turned to follow her line of sight. His lips quirked in a sentimental smile and she watched him for a moment until he turned back to her with an apologetic expression as he finally released her hand.

She hadn't even noticed that he was still holding her. She just shrugged and handed him the reins, finally letting out the smile that had been threatening to break free since they rode into what she could only call paradise.

He grinned back at her before tethering the horse and starting off towards the girls. "I'm surprised you aren't more awkward about all this." he commented.

She felt her step falter just slightly, but managed to keep any hint of her discomfort out of her voice, "What?" She hoped he wasn't trying to start some kind of conversation about what their apparent new level of comfort with each other meant. As much as she'd missed his jokes and even the innuendo, this was not the moment she wanted to start a conversation like that. There probably wasn't a good moment for it, but this was definitely on the list of worst times.

"The whole country thing?" he explained, his voice rising at the end as if it were a question, but there wasn't an actual question for her to answer. "Being a city girl and all, I just thought you might be a little bored out here with nothing to do." he shrugged as if the observation were casual, but she noted the hint of nervousness beneath the surface as if he were uncertain about drawing conclusions, though he had never seemed to have a problem with it before.

Deciding that if he was going to be the reserved one, she had to be the one that lightened the mood just so their dynamic didn't suffer for his personality shift, she bumped her shoulder against his on the next step. "There you go thinking you know me again, Castle."

He smiled at her teasing him, his mischievous little grin finally coming out to the light of day. She felt the slight jostling of him returning her gesture, "I'd say it won't happen again, but I'd probably be lying."

They walked the final few paces in silence until they were standing near enough to hear every splash and slosh of water from the girls who still seemed to be having a good time. A sudden shift in the air near her set her on edge the moment before she found herself hoisted into the air. Castle had her with a surprisingly strong arm behind her knees and another holding her upper body firmly against him as he took another step towards the pool, his intent perfectly clear.

Instantly her left arm wrapped around his shoulders and grasped his t-shirt behind his neck in a firm fist. In the same moment, her right shot up to grasp his ear firmly and give a slight twist, warning at first. "Put me down."

He looked down at her, grinning and close enough that she could see more than the light and dark that made up the normally soothing grey-blue of his eyes, she could see the spidery coal colored lines and fleck that littered the dark blue of his iris. "That was the plan." he told her, not losing the casual teasing tone, though it was a bit strained.

She twisted the ear between her fingers a little more and watched him struggle with his options, "I'm serious, Castle." She practically growled.

"So am I." he shot back lightly.

"I have stuff in my pockets."

She felt him shrug under her arm, against her side. The movement seemed to serve as a reminder of their proximity and she felt her fingers slacken just a bit on his ear as she belatedly registered the sensation.

His words cut through her sudden lack of focus, "Then you should probably let go of my ear and get whatever is so important out of your pockets."

She glared at him, but he just continued to smile down at her, though her grip on his ear was starting to make his cheeks turn pink and a furrow appeared between his brows.

"Ten seconds." He informed her when she still hadn't moved to do as instructed.

She took a quick glance beneath her, calculating, caught eyes with an amused, but baffled Alexis on the way to bring her gaze back up to meet Castle's. She winked at the girl and watched Alexis' grin widen as she leaned to whisper to her friend. When Kate's gaze finally met his again, she carefully pulled her lower lip between her teeth as if she were contemplating his suggestion, and her fingers started to release his certainly red ear.

"Five seconds." His voice was less controlled this time and she wondered if it was the proximity finally registering as if delayed for him as well. Perhaps it was just sensation returning, probably with a significant burn, as blood flow was restored to the tender flesh of his ear.

Her intent examination of the subtly shifting colors in his eyes, alerted her to the moment when his pupils started to expand, darkening his eyes as they did. It was definitely the first thought. Proximity, she could work with that.

Kate released her lip from between her teeth and watched his gaze flick down to her lips when she flicked her tongue out over it. She finally released his ear completely and she let just the pads of her fingers trail across the skin beneath the abused flesh and slowly down his neck to his shoulder. She watched him as it seemed to take an extra effort to swallow and she almost smiled in triumph as it had been far longer than five seconds and she was still dry.

"I need to take off my pants." She spoke into the short space between them, dropping her voice just a little and adding an extra breath in the middle as if she were short of it.

Instant fear gripped her as she felt his hold on her faltered slightly and she was actually concerned that he would drop her against the stones she had spotted beneath them. His eye widened to nearly comical proportions and then darted away from her as if looking for some kind of distraction.

It was the moment she had been waiting for. Her hands shifted and she used his shoulders to push herself away, twisting and landing hard on her right foot, left knee and hand against the small strip of dirt and rocks along the bank of the water. She had just hit the ground when she surged up again before Castle could react.

Her shoulder caught him in the stomach, head to one side as she wrapped her arms around the tops of his thighs and in a swift move rolled backwards and to the side, flinging him off and away, satisfied with the loud splash that accompanied his soaking wet fate, and she kept smiling even though the action and her position at the water's edge resulted in a veritable a tidal wave of freezing water cascading over her head and shoulders.

She rolled and sprung to her feet, stepping away as Castle sputtered as he stood from the water and swept his arm across the surface. His attempt at splashing her unsuccessful, he finally joined the rest of them in laughter.

His shirt plastered to his chest, jeans looking as if they weighed twenty pounds and hair plastered flat against his head, Castle climbed out of the waist deep water. "That was so cool!" he exclaimed, before he shook his head briskly like a dog. He was successful in flinging water in all directions and leaving his hair a mess, his grin as huge as his wide playful eyes. "Can we do it again?"

x.x.x

A/N: Another out of control chapter… where does this all come from? Yeah, I don't know. Back to To Have and To Hold now, hope that tides you over for a couple more days while I shift focus again.

Review that made my day: **lisahoo1**, I don't know how true all that is, but it sure made me happy to read it.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Castle couldn't stop grinning. It wasn't just the excitement of being thrown into the water by someone practically half his size, though that had to go on his list of top ten coolest things ever. Nor was it the fact that he had been holding Kate in a position that was far more fantasy than he cared to admit, though that found a spot on the list as well. It was that look on her face as he asked if they could do it again.

The light danced in her eyes as she gave him a mesmerizing smile. It wasn't the tight little smirk as she tried to avoid laughing at one of his jokes that were in decidedly poor taste at a crime scene or the morgue. It wasn't the teasing grin she got when Ryan or Esposito bested him in a duel of words. It wasn't even the heartfelt or grateful smiles he had seen a handful of time and locked away in his memory banks for safe keeping. This one was new.

He didn't know how to classify it in terms of Beckett, so he linked this one to Kate and only Kate. Her teeth were dazzling, slightly parted from the sheer width of her grin and he could see a hint of pink tongue hiding behind them. This smile was one for the record book and he instantly found himself addicted to the carefree, almost innocence of that expression on her face. He knew it was going to be his new goal to put that smile on her face again and again until he got tired of seeing it or went blind from the radiance. He was fairly certain that the second would happen long before the first ever did.

Having been unsuccessful in his attempt to best the detective, he gave her a small bow to concede his defeat before traipsing off, heavy pants dripping as he walked.

Back near the horses, there was a hunting blind set up, the camouflage pattern allowed it to blend in and not disrupt the natural beauty, but provided a semi-private area for changing along the tree line. He grabbed his swim trunks from the saddle bag and popped into the small space to change.

Castle almost fell right through the side as he struggled with jeans that seemed to stick to him as he peeled them off. Fortunately, he regained his balance in time to stay upright and managed to squeeze out of the wet denim. The shirt was a far simpler task and soon he was able to slip into his board shorts. Adjusting the black shorts proved difficult on his wet skin. Soon enough, however, he tied them tightly, slung low on his hips and hanging nearly to his knees.

He headed back towards the three ladies, his wet clothes in one hand, a small canvas bag in the other with towels thrown over his shoulder.

He went about laying out his clothes on an out cropping of rock from the cliff face, somewhere they would catch the sun and hopefully dry enough to get back on for the ride back, he set to work digging through the bag. He caught Kate watching him, somewhat warily from the large bolder where she was apparently going to dry her wet shirt as she wore it.

He smiled as he approached, digging through the bag. He let his gaze drift back to Alexis and Lizzie as he held up goggles. When his daughter motioned that she wanted them, he tossed her two sets and then reached back in for the final pairs.

Dangling them from his fingers he approached Kate and sat casually on the edge of the rock beside her. "You have to get in to see what's down there." he informed her.

She graced him with a look that made him laugh because she obviously thought he was crazy. "That water has to be about two degrees, and I think I can see just fine from up here."

"It's not even close to that cold." he protested.

"Hey, Dad!" Alexis called and he looked up to see his daughter grinning at him as she treaded water right beside where the creak fell from above. He could see she was getting splashed along the back of her head from that position, but she didn't seem to mind. "No one ate Wallace." she informed him and then her head was back underwater again.

"Wallace?" Kate asked, looking him over with a raised eyebrow.

"He's the mascot." Castle informed her and watched the quirk of her lips as she tilted her head in a question. "If you want to meet the mascot." he told her, dangling the goggles again, "You have to brave the water."

She seemed to put a lot of thought into the point, looking carefully between the water and the goggles, back to the girls laughing in cold water and then to him. If he wasn't mistaken, her gaze hesitated on him a moment, not his face or eyes, but his shirtless self. He felt the urge to adjust his position to one that was more proud, but fought it as he simply waited her out.

With a soft grumble of frustration, she reached out and swiped them from his hand, "Fine." she replied, her tone sarcastic, but her smile a direct contrast to her not sounding happy with the thought.

He didn't have a response to that, because before he could contemplate one she had started to pull her shirt over her head. He seemed to lose focus on the happenings around him as he watched the fabric inch up as if in slow motion, carefully exposing her hidden swimwear.

He'd been hoping for a bikini, but wouldn't be complaining anytime soon about the way her tankini molded to her body. Her shoulders were bare to her collar bone where the tapered straps of her top cut up her chest to tie behind her neck, breast encased in deep chocolate fabric that hugged the swell of them. Sky blue flowers, outlined in bold white, litter the dark canvass of the top that flared out beneath the swell of her breast to the top edge of her jeans.

He didn't know if he'd ever be able to swallow again from the way his mouth dried as he tried, but failed, to pull his eyes off each newly exposed inch of skin. She had to know this was pure torture, but she didn't even look up at him as she unfastened her jeans.

She stooped to lay her shirt carefully over the far edge of the boulder to continue drying before she pulled her jeans off. Her pants were flung to the rock beside her shirt with far less care revealing matching boy shorts with a rope of blue and white twined together for the belt.

"How bad is it?" she asked.

He wanted to respond, but he suddenly had no idea what she was talking about. He finally managed to tear his eyes from what was likely an unwanted appreciation of the newly bared skin to look up at her. He noticed her gaze was fixed towards the base of the water fall and realized she hadn't even been talking to him.

"At first?" Alexis asked, but didn't wait for a response, "Like being punched in the gut. After a few minutes it's just perfect."

Kate nodded and he watched as she hesitated just slightly. He wondered briefly if she was going to be one of those annoying people that worked their way slowly into the water until two hours later they were finally comfortable enough to be all the way in and swim around. If so, he was going to have to push her.

To his surprise, after seeming to weight her options, she turned a small grin in his direction before focusing on the water in front of her and she jumped in. Her turn to jump had revealed that there wasn't much to the back of her suit. Where the front was modest, the back simply had a single strap that wound behind her back to tie in what looked like a simple bow that if he pulled on one end of that string, would come undone. Thoughts like that were going to kill him or get him killed if he didn't rein them in.

It wasn't a deep pool, but when Kate hit the water, she didn't land on her feet, instead he watched her intentionally flatten out and disappear fully beneath the surface of the water. The ripples of her landing disrupted his view of her beneath the water, but after a moment she stood up and gasped, obviously struck by the cold. He could see the effect that the water temperature had on her from the parts of her that were still out of the water and he had to force his eyes away to safer visions.

Castle scooped up the last pair of goggles and held them in a tight fist as he took a running jump and cannonballed into the pool almost dead center between all three of them.

Oh, damn. He had just been in there and the cold was still a shock. This time, however, it was a welcome relief. He didn't need to do anything that might make Kate uncomfortable, involuntary bodily reactions included. Besides, the last thing he needed to do was scar his daughter's psyche for life and leave her a weeping mess in some therapist's office for the next twenty years.

He slipped his goggles on and looked to her through the slight blue tint of the lenses to watch her follow his lead. From her body language and the way she was moving, he would have pinned her actions as hesitant or reluctant, bordering on humoring him, but he could see the subtle tilt of her lips that gave her away. "Let's meet Wallace." he said as he dipped his head in the mostly clear water and pushed himself to float towards the base of the falls, eyes scanning the smooth rock surfaces.

He came up for air just as Kate was approaching and had to bite back a snicker as she took the last step and faltered, falling in to her neck and quickly treading water to keep her head above the surface.

"It's really deep." she exclaimed and he noted the hint of wonder tingeing the words.

"Erosion." Alexis explained, swimming to join them from where she had been behind the waterfall.

For once, he got to see Beckett roll her eyes at someone else in exasperation. "Thanks, Alexis." she replied, good humored sarcasm tinting the words. She seemed to get her bearing fully and graced his daughter with a bright smile, "It just surprised me, that's all."

He and the two teens spent the next several minutes trying to locate Wallace as Beckett floated casually beside them before apparently building up her courage and swimming through the cascading water and then back out again. At one point she had looked beneath the surface and come up with another dazzling smile on her face. "There are a lot of fish in here." she commented.

"Yeah," Castle was the sarcastic responder this time as the teens had ventured back behind the falls in their search. "I heard something about fish living in water, but I wasn't sure if that was true."

Before Kate could do more than flick some water into his face with her palm, Lizzie was calling for them. The two teens had emerged from behind the falls and were taking turns dipping their heads into the water near the far edge. Alexis popped up and Lizzie ducked her head back into the water. "He's right down here."

"Swim along the surface, you get your feet down there and he'll move again. We'll be doing this all day." Castle explained, as he began a slow crawl towards the girls.

When Beckett arrived, they both dropped their faces into the cool creak pool and his eyes scanned for signs of Wallace. He spotted him and pointed, watching Beckett turn slightly in order to get a view. He saw her jerk in surprised and raised his head out of the water to watch as she surfaced.

"Shut the front door! Did you see the size of him?" Becket asked, her tone excited as she scrambled to get her feet under her, likely scaring away the fish. He didn't really care if they spent all day searching for him again or didn't even go looking; the look on her face was priceless.

Alexis stood beside Beckett, beaming and Castle couldn't help but think about how none of this would have happened without the two of them conspiring behind his back. He found himself smiling at them as he took in the camaraderie that he hadn't realized was so easy between the two. They made quite the sight as Alexis leaned casually into Kate and she wrapped an arm around her shoulders without seeming to even think about it.

"He's been in there since before we started coming." his daughter told the detective and Castle became a casual observer as his daughter relayed various stories about visiting the falls through the years. It was fascinating to hear her describing it to someone as they had only ever really talked about it amongst themselves.

His mother, despite the horse he'd gotten for her, had only come up twice in all the years they had been coming here, but up until now, she was the only one they had reminisced about this time together with. He was suddenly aware that he and Kate would have this together now, too. The thought with a visual of her casually sharing space with his daughter in this setting had his already hyperactive imagination going into overdrive.

Attempting to clear his mind before he got ahead of himself again as he was so often doing these past few days, Castle dunked himself under the water. When he surfaced, he caught sight of Lizzie swimming off behind the falls.

Figuring a conversation with the teen was safer than staying here and letting his mind run away with him, Castle dove in and swam through the cascading water. The pressure against his back pushed him lower beneath the surface with a pounding staccato rhythm that always surprised him. The falls always looked like it fell in a smooth sheet of water, but being beneath it he could feel the subtle breaks in the flow.

He popped up on the other side of the falls and pulled himself up on the rock ledge to sit beside Lizzie, their feet dangling in the water, swirling through as a delicate mist from the falls coated their already wet skin in a manner entirely chilling. "Hey." he greeted, pulling his goggles up to his forehead and smiling at the girl.

"Hey." she responded casually.

"How've you been? It feels like forever since I saw you last."

"It's been less than a year." she reminded him with a laugh. "Things are good, though. School's been crazy and I'm freaking out a little about college."

"Yeah," he commiserated, "I bet it's not all too easy on your dad either."

To his surprise, she laughed, "Are you kidding? He's waving college brochures under my nose every two minutes." She replied with heavy sarcasm, but he could see the softness in her eyes.

Castle couldn't wrap his brain around that. He was absolutely dreading the moment when he'd have to send his daughter off to college. He didn't have a chance to ask her about it as Beckett and Alexis made their way around to join them. They both grabbed onto the rocky wall to help keep them afloat.

"Hey, Lexi," Lizzie called out to her over the roar of the falls, "Is your dad seriously not pushing a bunch of college brochures on you?"

Alexis scoffed at that, "No way. He'd rather I stayed in high school a few more years."

"Hmm." Lizzie responded, still apparently processing the differences for a moment. She didn't seem to come to any conclusions and just shrugged before kicking the water with her feet to splash Alexis across the face. His daughter sputtered with mock indignation as Lizzie stood on the small ledge before jumping through the falls to get away from Alexis' retaliation.

It didn't pass Castle's notice that she had taken on a waterfall to avoid a much smaller splash, and he laughed as Alexis dove beneath the surface to follow her. The sound of their splashing and laughter drifted through the rumble of the water falling as Kate pulled herself up to take the seat Lizzie had vacated and lifted her goggles to her forehead to match his.

While he'd been sharing it with Lizzie, he hadn't noticed exactly how narrow the ledge was. Now that Kate had taken the spot, he could feel the edge of her thigh against the dark grey Celtic cross emblazoned on the side of his shorts, could feel her bare shoulder against his, the contact warming despite the chill of the mist.

"What was that about?" she asked casually.

"Huh?" he had been distracted by a sudden memory of the first time he had been up here with John and the girls. It was the first time he'd heard Lizzie's sweet little laugh. "Oh, apparently John's been cramming college brochures down her throat."

Kate smiled, looking through the delicate spray from the waterfall as if she could see the teens, though all they could make out was a blur of colors on the other side. "That makes sense."

He wouldn't have been able to stop himself from gaping at her if he'd wanted to. "On what planet?"

She turned her head to look him in the eyes with something akin to sympathy in her features. He missed it at first as he was distracted by the angry looking red marks around her eyes where the goggles had been a little too tightly pressed against her. "I bet there was a point when he didn't think he'd be able to send her to college. I'd put money on the colleges he's 'cramming down her throat'" she quoted him with heavy sarcasm, but then her tone dropped as she gave a little shrug, "being some of the finest in the country."

He considered it a moment, but any response he might have felt wrong. It was either too serious and risked them venturing further into this uncharted territory they seemed to carefully be exploring, or was just another joke to escape that seriousness.

Sure, it was a coward's escape, but in that moment he would take the coward's way out in order to stave off his desire to feel more of her against him. It was an act that would likely end the amicability of this mini-vacation. He wasn't ready or willing to risk any of this on his impulsive tendencies. So, instead of addressing her comment directly, he simply said, "Let's grab some lunch." as he slid off the rock ledge into the water.

x.x.x

A/N: This place with the waterfall is based on an actual location in Northern Idaho that I went to several years ago. I wish I was still on good terms with my ex, because then I could make him tell me where the heck it was exactly so I could go back. Until I find it on my own again, I have my memories and now I have this story to put those memories into.

Sorry for the delay, hopefully I'll get a lot of work in on this over the weekend, but I do have an epilogue to finish for my other story.

Review that made my day: **Peachy-x-**, Because there is really nothing cooler than that! I didn't mind your rambling one bit, because it made me supremely proud that I could unwittingly remind you of such a sweet childhood memory. Thank you for sharing it with me.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Lunch was filled with light conversation, mostly led by Alexis and Lizzie. Castle seemed as content as she was to let the girls have this time to fill Kate in on Wallace, the resident Channel Cat. She still couldn't believe that a fish of that sized lived in such a small body of water, but considering the number of smaller fish, he obviously had plenty of potential food.

He hadn't gotten to his current size overnight, and had obviously been too large to swim down the creek for at least several years, but it had still shocked her to see the fat catfish. Beckett had expected another small fish, or maybe something in the six to eight inch range, but Wallace easily had a foot on her largest estimation.

After they'd finished their turkey sandwiches and an assortment of fresh vegetables, Castle suggested they go on a hike and let their food settle. "No swimming for a half hour after eating." he explained to her and she rolled her eyes, but helped pack up lunch.

She was more than tempted to throw her shirt and jeans on, but the other three were headed off towards a trail to the side of the falls before she realized they had even actually decided they were hiking. Alexis looked back over her shoulder as Kate stood near the rock where they'd had lunch, eyes drifting between her clothes and the three walking away. "You coming, Kate?"

And just like that she decided, again, probably for the tenth time, to just go with it. She couldn't explain why letting go of all that she held so tightly was so difficult. She wouldn't have been able to pinpoint the moment in her life when having control over everything became a necessity and not just a preference. She knew herself well enough to recognize her own faults and understand that spontaneity and trust were two things that she didn't readily embrace.

Even so, Beckett couldn't believe how relaxed she was considering she was doing something that was so completely out of her comfort zone. Relying on others to plan her time had turned out surprisingly well and the day progressed with her following the lead that the others set. It actually felt liberating, in a strange way, to give over even that little bit of control to someone else.

She walked at their pace, not trying to embrace her normal long stride, but enjoying the scenery on a leisurely trek up a winding trail. She stopped when they stopped and appreciated the science lesson from Alexis about some plant or insect, or the humorous tale from Castle that seemed to follow any attempt for Alexis to get him to learn something. That had worked out to a nice leisurely hike, until she stood nervously on the cliff's edge beside the others, watching the waterfall from above. She didn't actually think she would follow them this time, though.

Alexis and Lizzie pulled their shoes off and tossed them over the edge. She watched the footwear clear the pool below them easily and come to rest in a grassy area well away from the spray of the falls. Kate caught Castle's eye and he gave her a small lopsided grin as encouragement. She simply shook her head at him. There was no way. There would be no convincing her and she wanted him to understand that from the get go.

Neither teen seemed to register her reluctance. Lizzie was the first to break off from them and she took a flying leap off the rocks, falling gracefully parallel to the waterfall to land feet first where they had swum earlier. Alexis watched her friend clear the space below the falls and then turned expressive blue eyes on Beckett. The teen didn't say anything, just smiled before taking a couple of steps and leaping into the air.

It was almost like a cartoon as Alexis launched off the rock and spun to face them. Beckett felt as if the teen stalled in mid-air, though that was ridiculous. She met the girl's eyes and her crooked little smile of pure delight as she waved before disappearing from Beckett's line of sight was probably one of the most youthfully exuberant expressions she had ever seen on the teen. It was as if this spot really was a place out of time and Alexis was transported back to days when she was more carefree and put far less demands on herself. She looked about ten years old with that huge smile and the little finger wave.

Kate couldn't help but grin at the picture that moment made in memory banks that had all too often been used to store only negative things. She had almost forgotten that pure joy like that existed; almost given up on the fact that she would ever bear witness to such a simple, yet powerful, moment. She smiled at the strangeness of it all. Despite how many times she'd been struck with the thought over the weekend, she couldn't help feeling a sense of gratitude for being able to experience this moment.

She hadn't had this little say about her itinerary since she had gone on vacation with her parents years before, and she had felt just like this then, too. Casual, comfortable, and content, though she couldn't remember if she had been quite so prone to alliteration during those family adventures. She was also certain she hadn't been so inclined to contemplate the significance of her sudden penchant for the literary devise with her family.

The word resonated in her mind, obliterating her previous urge to chuckle. She hadn't felt as if she were a welcome part of a real family moment in over a decade and the realization that she wasn't just observing, but participating in a family was enough to stop her thoughts in their tracks.

Kate had to force a slow and steady breath in and then out again as she watched Alexis and Lizzie. The girl's clambered out of the pool and scoop up their shoes. They had them back on their feet and were beating a hasty path back up to the top of the rocks above the falls.

She hadn't realized she'd lost herself in thought until the gentle graze of Castle's knuckles against the side of her arm brought her focus back from staring into the water below the rocky cliff. She didn't dare look at him, though she could practically hear the silent question, instead choosing to ignore it.

He took the moment literally, but she couldn't blame him, because if it weren't for being slapped across the face with her own realization, nothing would have torn her from this moment. "It's only about twenty feet and the water is plenty deep enough down there. There's nothing to be worried about." he informed her, his tone soft and reassuring as he dropped his hand back down and away from her.

She didn't let herself dwell on why lack of contact got her attention as effectively as contact with him had. Instead she pulled herself together enough to turn and face him with a cocked eyebrow, hoping to convey that she wasn't afraid of anything and his implying such was laughable.

The sound of upbeat conversation drifted up to meet them as the teens drew closer and she watched a subtle shift in his eyes. A moment later, he had her elbow gently cupped in his palm as he directed her away from the edge as if he were some Nineteenth Century nobleman leading a belle to the dance floor. She was surprised as she let him walk her away, but relieved at the same time with not needing to put up a false smile for the girls as her brain continued to buzz with conflicting thoughts and bewildering comparisons.

It wasn't until Alexis called to him over the distance he had established and Castle made an elaborate show of pointing as if he were talking to Beckett before turning back to his daughter. "I'm showing Kate that tree that attacked me a few years ago."

Alexis laughed, but the sound didn't seem any closer than her initial question had been, which afforded Kate the luxury of relaxing her worry that the girls would bring their upbeat selves over to join them and she'd be forced to put on a false smile. It was something she did all too often, but for some reason she didn't want to have to pretend here. Her promise to herself to go with the flow had seeped into allowing thoughts she hadn't entertained since she was a teen to seep in and while she didn't want to embrace them, necessarily, she also didn't want to push them away.

"Don't forget to point out 'concussion rock'." Alexis added from her vantage point obviously near the edge of the cliff. The loud peel of laughter drew Kate's eyes away from a spot she hadn't been focused on as she stared off into the woods. Glancing over her shoulder, she felt a bit of the positive mood restored at the sight of Alexis trapped in a bear hug from behind as Lizzie lifted the other teen's feet off the ground. It was only two steps before the brunette strode over the cliff's edge with Alexis still a captive. The delighted screams followed them down to end in a splash.

It was followed a few seconds later by giggles and lighthearted teasing that she could barely hear over the soft roar of the falls. Her eyes had reverted back to looking down the creak, focused only slightly on where it curved out of sight up a slight incline. Her mind wasn't on the sounds of the water or beauty of the natural setting. Instead she was deeply focused on the internal thoughts that would have been surprising if she hadn't been waiting for them to catch up to her since the moment she agreed to this little adventure.

She noticed Castle had dropped his hand from her once they moved away from the edge, but he didn't step away and she was confused to want him close and far away at the same time. Her thoughts were hers alone; they had been for so long, that to have another there in her space while she tried to work through them was disconcerting. The fact that it was someone who had been through so many things with her was the only part of this that seemed to allow her thoughts to continue where normally she would force them back and away.

He didn't speak, he didn't push or question, he didn't even seem to move. Simply standing beside her, waiting on her to decide whether she would or wouldn't share with him the reason for her sudden melancholy. It was his silent stand beside her that eventually broke through her rampaging thoughts.

"I haven't," she started and was surprised with the need to clear the tightness from her throat in order to voice her thoughts. "I haven't done this since I was seventeen." she informed him.

She felt the shift in him. She couldn't explain it as he wasn't touching her and her gaze was still fixed blindly on the horizon, but somehow she knew. He had tensed, but she was convinced it wasn't her words or emotion, but the force of holding back from a verbal or physical reaction to them. It was his desire to draw her out with a question or reassure her with a touch, but the force of holding it back had put him on edge.

Taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it, she finally tore her eyes from the creek she hadn't actually noticed until right before her eyes slipped away from it. She shouldn't have been surprised that her eyes met deep blue ones when she turned her head towards him, but she was. Perhaps it wasn't the fact that he was watching her, it was the light of recognition in his eyes.

Where she thought her word choice was vague enough to perhaps elicit a tease from him about cliff diving, the eyes looking back into her own revealed that he had seen right through the subtle deflection. Then he surprised her again when he didn't push. Instead he held her gaze until she felt herself nod, not sure if it was a thanks or a brush off, but the expression he leveled on her made her feel like either was acceptable to him in this instance. She was grateful and allowed the familiar blue eyes to pull her back from where her mind had dragged her.

When sharing that look with him started to shift from simply grounding her to something else that she didn't want to heap on everything else at the moment, she looked away. Her gaze fell on the tree he had pointed out earlier as he gave his excuses to Alexis. "So, 'concussion rock', really?" she asked, hoping he could ignore the way her voice came out sounding thick rolling off her tongue.

She couldn't tell, as she no longer held his gaze, but after a moment she heard a small chuckle. She didn't know if he was chuckling at her awful attempt to change the subject or the events he had yet to explain to her, but the sound was enough to pull her further back to here and now.

As he told the story of climbing up to help Alexis down when she'd gone higher than she was comfortable, only to fall from the tree himself, she could tell he was taking her lead on this one. She could tell he was forcing the good humor for a long moment, letting her gather herself again.

After a couple minutes of describing his heroic intentions, she heard his tone change to actually embrace the story. It took her an extra minute to realize that he had given in to the pull of his tale because she had done so first and she almost smiled that he was even following her lead into his story telling, something that was certainly more his territory than her own.

She listened quietly, letting his story lull her back until she was fully in the present again. It took a few more minutes for her to rein everything in and then she turned back, walking carefully and with precision back to the cliff's edge. He joined her a moment later and they looked down to see the teens sunning on the large boulder. Silently taking in the beauty that surrounded her, Kate felt that last bit of sadness well up and wash over her, leaving the good thoughts of her childhood in their wake.

She turned back towards him with a smile, not sure what she could say about how much it meant to her to be here. She was certain she could never communicate what it meant to be forming memories from moments that would have been filled with quiet solitude in her apartment this long weekend without his family to enjoy it with.

He returned the smile cautiously and opened his mouth before an air of indecision seemed to sweep him and he closed it again. She let her head fall to the side slightly, a silent question that seemed to bolster his confidence. "You know, if you're missing family vacations," he began, his tone hesitant before he gained confidence in them and finished almost in a rush. "We do this kind of thing all the time. It's really no trouble having an extra person along."

It was a simple, quiet statement, a sort of open ended offer that brought her crashing back to reality. She was still reeling with the knowledge that he had basically invited her to join his family and the potential ramifications of that statement. Yet, watching his expression, she didn't note an ulterior motive in him, couldn't discern a single implication that he was intending the comment as anything more than a friendly offer. As her gaze shifted back over the landscape, she found herself contemplating whether that was reassuring or disappointing.

He didn't give her long to dwell on the thought as, for the second time in as many hours, she found herself swept into his arms. In a similar hold as Lizzie used against Alexis just a short time ago, Castle's arms came around her from behind, pinning her back against his chest with a tight hold around her midsection as he lifted her feet off the ground.

A moment before he stepped off the edge she felt his warm breath and quiet words wash across her ear and cheek as his light stubble brushed her skin, "You're not wearing pants." he informed her simply. The reference was clearly to her earlier play to escape his clutches, but the word choice and more the choice of what to leave out of that particular sentence, along with the scrape of his rough stubble, sent a delicious shiver through her.

She didn't know if it was instinct for self-preservation or something decidedly more base that had her clutching his arms tightly where they held her to him as he took them over the edge. However, as she felt the rush of falling and his arms tightened around her, she wondered why she even cared to analyze it. Go with the flow, she reminded herself, as she felt her feet impact the water before they sank into the deep pool. The cold didn't seem nearly as shocking with him wrapped tightly around her and it was a long moment after impact before he let go so they could swim to the surface.

x.x.x

A/N: I'm sorry for the long delay. I was going to finish To Have and To Hold before I came back here, because it took a lot of effort to get back into the mindset and finally figure out how I wanted that one to end. Instead, real life has been a mess and I needed this little boost of positive to help get me through all that has been going on.

Today, the drama and insanity happening in my life was lessened slightly by my sister who did the coolest/cruelest thing ever. She bought me a unicycle. I have wanted one since I was a kid, but unfortunately an almost thirty year old, over weight person and a unicycle results in a lot of sore muscles and a bruised shin, but in the end a little pride as I pedaled it upright… for one and a half turns of the wheel.

Review that made my day: **crazy4castle**, I'm glad to have you on board. Thanks for sticking up for me. I disclaimed in chapter One that this was being written for a challenge. I explained how silly the premise that Jameson Rook provided me was and how it would be a challenge to keep them even remotely in character. As a result, negative reviews get an eye roll befitting my favorite heroine for expecting this to be Retaliation or To Have and To Hold because they didn't read the disclaimer. If all my stories were the same I'd never write again, too boring. I appreciate you taking the time to note that right from the beginning and not judge it based on what it isn't but instead on what it is. Your words are appreciated.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

He could admit later that it probably wasn't his best plan, but in the moment it had seemed like a good idea. He had been waiting almost two days for everything roiling under the surface to come to the fore and pull her back into that more comfortable mindset. He'd been waiting for her to revert back to the guarded woman he knew so well. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the way Kate had been so open and carefree on most of this trip, but it was disconcerting.

He didn't expect it would take quite so long for the constant company or nearly mindless activities to overwhelm her when she normally seemed such a private person accustomed to setting her own schedule and occupying her mind daily with far more than most people thought about in the course of a week. He was on one hand thrilled with this new and different facet of her personality, but on the other hand a little concerned. He was left with a feeling of hanging precariously over a steep cliff as he waited for something to set her off or set her back.

It seemed that what he'd been bracing himself for all that time had been as simple as a hike to the top of the waterfall. He couldn't have pinned the reason down, but he was confident before she even spoke that it was probably something about the family aspect of the trip. Even with so little words from her, she had confirmed his suspicion.

The knowledge that anything he said or did could push her further into whatever dark parts of her mind she had ventured to, he somehow managed to rein in his urge to reach out to her. He couldn't, however, stop the offer a short time later as they stood near the cliff's edge. He didn't want her to see it as him being pushy or trying to change anything, but at the same time he didn't know if he'd ever want to travel without her again. Something about being away from the work they did every day, being away from that darkness, had awoke a side of her that he had no intention of allowing to go dormant again.

So he had made his offer for her to join them, instantly regretting it with thoughts of how that might sound. It was on the table, but he didn't give her time to think on the implications of his words. Instead, he decided that if he was going to do something to ruin the day for them, it was going to be something more fun than words.

He felt her tense the moment he pulled her off the ground and against him. However, almost instantly she relaxed again as if she realized the danger of struggling. He knew she wouldn't risk the potential for injury that a move like she'd used on him earlier might cause from this height, but he was still surprised she didn't try anything. He would have expected to at least feel her hands prying at his arms for release instead of the seemingly casual way her arms came round herself paralleling his own to rest her hands near his wrists as if waiting patiently for what was inevitably coming.

The implied intimacy of their positions didn't skip his notice, but he didn't allow himself to savor the feeling, simply cataloguing it for some later moment when his reaction to having her so close wouldn't result in either of them ending up embarrassed. He couldn't resist the final tease, veiled as a reference to her earlier excuse to catch him off guard. He wouldn't have expected the reaction to his words breathed against her skin, wouldn't have even believed it himself if he didn't feel her slight shiver against his chest.

Pushing that aside as well because the implications he could draw from that set his heart racing a little faster, he made short order of taking them over the cliff's edge. Her fingers tightened against his wrists, holding on as he grasped her firmly against his chest.

Even the impact and sinking low into the cool water didn't loosen his hold. He didn't let go until she moved and he was surprised with the fact that several seconds passed by beneath the surface before that happened. It was several seconds of his eyes squeezed shut, the breath he had pulled in sufficient for his lungs as her fingers continued to grip him tightly. It could have been a microsecond and he was simply experiencing the moment in startlingly slow motion, but he preferred to believe that she had chosen to hold his arms around her and stay locked with him for longer than necessary.

He couldn't put his finger on it, but something seemed almost false about the way she fell so easily back into the lazy day once he released her and they swam to the surface. She wasn't acting strangely, exactly, but since she swam away from him, she had engaged with the girls more readily and tramped down that negativity that had burrowed to the surface at the top of the cliffs.

He didn't want her to be miserable, but this was weird, even to him. On any normal day, he'd give just about anything to see her smile so much, but not when it was forced. He knew he'd pushed it and it was time to start wrangling the girls up and heading back. Maybe he'd take a trip up to visit with John and Rachael and let her have a little time to herself, relieve the pressure of having to maintain appearances in order to not spoil the mood for anyone else.

It proved to be a lot harder than he had anticipated convincing the girls to pack up. He'd tried hinting and suggesting for nearly twenty minutes before he finally ended up switching to the direct approach. "I want to head back now."

"I never would have guessed." Kate teased, her smile reaching her eyes for the first time in a while. He'd noticed she was the only one who had caught on to his suggestions the entire time and she was obviously amused by the turn of events.

Twenty minutes of hinting and fifteen more of being insistent, and he was still nowhere. Beckett cut in to forestall his intention to drag the reluctant teens back to the cabin. "They can probably find their way back if they aren't ready to go now." She suggested, her tone betraying that she was unsure of his reaction to her suggestion of leaving his daughter behind.

Thoughts of all the ways someone could get hurt out here in the woods flew through his mind at breakneck speeds. Each circumstance was, incidentally, founded in his own experiences. He'd never remembered a time one of the girls had been injured, only himself. Shaking off the negative and embracing the fact that his daughter and Lizzie were both capable, intelligent, and resourceful young women who really didn't tend to get themselves into the kind of trouble he always seemed to find, Castle shrugged. "I guess that's an acceptable compromise." He responded warily, taking in the way his daughter smiled at him in response.

"We'll be careful." Alexis reassured him as if she could read his mind.

Parting seemed to move a lot more quickly than suggesting they do so and they were back on the trail in no time. Once they had made their way through the small pathway and emerged on the larger trail, Kate turned a grateful smile his way. "I know what you're doing." She informed him casually.

He wished she'd stop being like that, because he didn't know where he stood around her like this. He didn't know what she wanted from him. Relying on an old favorite, he shot her a charming grin, and responded with humor in his tone, "Riding a horse?"

She shook her head in response, but he could tell she wasn't going to elaborate. After the way she'd been for the last hour, he wasn't sure she'd say anything else the entire trip. As was so often the case, he underestimated her, "You're a real smart ass, you know that?" she asked.

He was actually proud of his riding joke and leaning on humor to be the right tactic, though it was a normal tool of distraction in his arsenal. She seemed to be more susceptible to it in this environment and it made him want to figure out this pod-person Kate, if for no other reason than to hear her laugh at his lame jokes. "My mom always says, 'better to be a smartass than a dumbass'." He responded with a slight shrug, intent focus on the path ahead, but unable to resist glancing her way to confirm what looked like a smile in his peripheral vision.

"That sounds like something she'd come up with." Beckett responded as he confirmed there was indeed a smile there. There was also a predatory glint in her eyes and he had to bite back his own reflexive grin as he waited for whatever taunt she was about to add to the end of that statement. "You know how moms try to cover for their kids."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, certain she'd been vague on purpose in the hopes of baiting him.

"Probably that she didn't want to hurt your frail ego by glossing over the fact that, either way, you're still an ass." She shrugged as if the subject were banal. To them this back and forth kind of was as they were both comfortable with the fact that no ill intent was involved in their banter.

"Guilty." He agreed, sitting up a little taller in his saddle as if the descriptor were a point of pride.

They spent the rest of the leisurely trip back finding every chance they could get to take pot shots at each other. It was as if everything they had bottled away and repressed the first couple of days came flooding out over that half hour. He knew what it was, or at least he was pretty sure it was her attempt to right things, put them back in place before they had to go home tomorrow. Well, perhaps she had just gotten tired of him trying to be careful of her feelings so she pushed him until he snapped back to verbal sparring.

Whichever one it was, he didn't care. As long as she shot him that glare while he watched her struggle not to smile, then she could laugh at him as much as she saw fit. Apparently, she saw fit to do quite a lot of laughing at his expense and he found himself paying careful attention to his word choice after the first ten minutes.

He would have shocked himself last week for leaving himself so open to a verbal flaying by the detective and her sharp tongue. Instead, he looked for the opportunities to set her up in a way that she wouldn't catch on to. Subtlety never having been a strong suit of his, he found the task a challenge and wondered if the few times she'd remarked something that he could turn back on her was intentional, but dismissed it because she wasn't crazy like him.

He loved the way she'd maintain that cool level tone as she ribbed him. He hid his smile from her when her eyes sparkled as she told him to 'stop being such a baby' for complaining lightheartedly about something she'd said. Of course, his favorite response from her wasn't when she had something to say, it was when he left himself wide open for comment and she didn't take the bait. It was as if he could physically see the wheels spinning in her head as she bit her lip and averted her eyes to some plant or tree as they rode past it.

When they arrived back at the cabin, Kate disappeared to change out of clothes that were still damp from being pulled on over a wet bathing suit. She was out in a flash, looking casual once again with her hair pulled up into a damp ponytail. He'd taken the opportunity to change into a pair of khaki shorts, because now that the ride was over he knew the jeans he'd been wearing would be far too warm for the balmy summer afternoon.

Kate had grabbed her keys and was headed towards the door before he even realized she was thinking about leaving. He felt a moment of panic that he had pushed too far and she was going to ditch them here and head home where no one would bother her. Instead of allowing it to fester, he focused on the fact that she was not carrying the bag she had packed for this trip. "You going to see the town?" he asked casually, with a smirk because describing the couple of small stores and smattering of other shops and houses a town was almost laughable.

Kate shrugged, "Yeah, thought it might be interesting." he watched her hesitate near the doorway before glancing back to him. "You can come, too, if you want."

He knew that expression, though he'd never seen it on her. He'd never actually known her to offer something as a courtesy when she didn't actually mean it. Instead of taking her up on the offer, which seemed to be all his brain decided that it wanted, he simply shook his head as he replied, "No, that's ok. I've seen it all a hundred times." He watched the hint of relief wash across her features, but along with it was a baffling uncertainty that may have actually been tainted by confusion.

In that instant he knew she had expected him to take her up on the offer despite how much she seemed to want to be alone. He forced himself to stay casual as he reassured her, "I actually wanted to head up to the main house and get started on my famous lemon pepper chicken kabobs for dinner."

The relief of his explained refusal was almost completely buried beneath feigned interest, "Kabobs, huh?"

"Yep." he replied simply, before brushing past her to head out of the cabin. He only got a few steps away from the front stairs before he turned back to see her still standing in the doorway as if conflicted about her next action. He hoped she wasn't planning to forego her intention of a little alone time in order to help him with dinner preparations. "Can you do me a favor, though? If you find yourself near a grocery store, can you pick up some mushrooms?"

She seemed relieved to have a task that would allow her to be helpful so she didn't feel obligated to stay and lend a hand. "Sure, you want to give me directions on how to get to a store from here?"

"Turn left when you hit the road." he informed her and watched her through the lull as she waited for him to elaborate and he waited for her to understand that all there was to the small town was the main road running straight through it.

A moment and a brief nod later, she was gone and he headed up to the main house.

It was pushing seven before the sound of car tires on the gravel drive signaled her return. She had been gone for hours and while he'd had his daughter and friends to keep him busy, he hadn't been able to shake the niggling feeling in the back of his mind. It wasn't that he expected her to skip out on them; though he had to admit, he wasn't sure how she was going to act in this situation. No, what bothered him was that he found it increasingly difficult not to imagine all the horrible things that can happen to people in the blink of an eye, much less over several hours.

The longer he spent in the world of real crime, the harder it became to separate his own life from those lives he saw extinguished on a daily basis, usually for the most asinine reasons. It didn't seem to take much to set people off, so he had tried to force various visions out of his mind while she was gone.

Still, unbidden, he had occasional thoughts of Kate in the little store as a gunman came through town, looking for an easy score. He'd stop at the mom and pop store and try for a quick buck. Kate wouldn't stand idly by while a robbery occurred, not on her watch. She'd try to stop it, but something would go wrong and that's why she had been gone so long. She was bleeding out in a grocery store aisle because he asked her to pick up some mushrooms.

Needless to say, he was relieved to see her park the car near the cabin and disappear inside for a moment before she headed up to the main house with a grocery sack in hand.

Pushing the thoughts away, he greeted her casually.

"Sorry I took so long; did you guys have to hold dinner for me?"

Castle shook his head in a blatant, but small lie, "It'll be ready in about twenty minutes. Did you find some mushrooms?"

Kate nodded as she finally reached the porch and followed him inside. Everyone was gathered around the island in the kitchen, chatting over hardly touched trays of fruits and vegetables, and a nearly demolished one of cheese and crackers.

Castle reached for the small paper sack in her hands, but she shook her head as she moved over to the sink and started to thoroughly wash each one. With a shrug, he pulled out a cutting board, looking as if he were very familiar with the house, and started slicing the mushrooms as she finished washing each one. He stepped away for a moment to put a cube of butter in a frying pan and set it on the stove to melt down. When he turned back, Beckett had finished washing and taken over the slicing he had momentarily stepped away from.

"I can get this." he informed her, coming to stand a little closer than he probably should while she was wielding a knife.

"I won't be responsible for you losing a finger, or bleeding on everything." she responded with a teasing grin, but he saw through that as well. He knew her, especially how she was as a house guest. Having had her as a guest in his own house, he knew she'd want to help out however she could find a way to.

"I'll have you know, I'm very good with a blade." he responded was mock indignation as he moved back to tend the butter on the stove top.

She snorted in disbelief and turned to casually point the knife in his direction, "I'll have you know, that I have seen you trip on your own feet. No, you're not getting the knife back."

Castle scoffed, then wondered if it was really a good idea to channel a whiny four year old, but shook off the doubt that he wouldn't normally even consider, "Oh come on, that was _one_ time."

She brought the cutting board over with a raised eyebrow as if she were unsure he wanted them in the mountain of butter he had just melted. He gave her a nod and she carefully slid the sliced mushrooms off the board and into the pan. "Yeah, one time this week. What about in the last month?"

They didn't realize they had an audience of four, grinning as they continued to bicker while Castle stirred the mushrooms and Beckett washed the cutting board and knife, before placing them in the drying rack.

Dinner was served on the back patio, and finished just in time to catch the sunset again. This time, though he wasn't sure if she was avoiding him or just being social, she joined the teens lying out on the grass. Rachael moved down after a short time and John gave him a cocked eyebrow and a little shrug before heading over to lie in the grass beside his wife a few minutes later.

Kate's gaze met his a few minutes later after she scanned the large lawn and seemed to spot everyone but him. She propped herself on an elbow as she glanced back at him, tilting her head to the side as if asking why he was standing alone on the porch leaning against the railing. He gave her a casual shrug and watched her scoot away from Alexis to make room as he walked over to them.

Lying on the grass, his daughter on one side, Beckett on the other, watching the sun set and the sky darken, seemed to be the perfect cap to their vacation, and fortunately, provide him an excuse to keep quiet. It was a foolproof method to prevent himself from saying something that would probably come across wrong.

The sun disappeared and the sky tried to hang onto the light for several minutes, trying to retain the deep blue that always preceded the true black of night. No one seemed inclined to move as the stars came out.

Eventually, Alexis rolled to her feet and snagged his hand to pull him up, too. "S'mores?" she asked, grinning.

He turned to find Beckett had already made her way to her feet and was half way through declining the invitation for the treats before he could even offer. "I'm going to head back to the cabin." she informed them all as she turned her attention to John and Rachael. "It was great to meet you both. If we don't see you tomorrow I just wanted to thank you for sharing your home and your time with us."

Further pleasantries were exchanged as he and Alexis made their way up to the house to gather supplies. Kate stopped Alexis on her way out and he kept walking out to the fire pit John had gotten started just after dinner. He wanted to stay and find out what Beckett might be speaking with Alexis about or bid her a good night, but the next time he looked over, she was gone and Alexis was approaching him with the bag of marshmallows and box of graham crackers.

It was almost midnight when they got back to the silent cabin. He had almost hoped she'd still be up because as strange as the past two days had been, Castle wasn't really ready for it to end yet. Putting on a neutral face for Alexis' sake, he offered to start a fire and stay up late telling ghost stories. Instead, she let out a huge yawn before giving him a peck on the cheek and disappearing quietly into the room she was sharing with Kate.

He shrugged and thought about turning in as well, but he was still amped up, probably from the sugar of that fourth S'more he should have passed on. Instead, as he entered his room, his eyes fell on the tattered sweater and he wondered if it would be the same to head up to the roof after having spent the previous night up there with Kate. He didn't think that one night sharing his spot with her would wipe the slate of all those years he'd spent up there alone in contemplation, but at the same time, even thinking of heading up there had visions of Kate and Shel Silverstein popping into his head.

Shaking off the thought, because he really did have some things that could do with a little quiet introspection, Castle changed into a pair of jeans and grabbed the sweater. Without a second thought, he headed for the roof. Soft footfalls on the rooftop were his only company as he made his way out the window and climbed across to the roof.

Once he'd found himself upright, he spotted her dark figure immediately and almost smiled at the same time he swallowed the urge to turn back and disappear into the house. Instead, he walked carefully over and sat beside her. Looking down, he thought she may be asleep, but she popped her eyes open and reached into the side of her hood, pulling an ear bud out and smiling up at him.

"How was dessert?" she asked.

"Good, but I had too many." he responded. He returned the smile as he situated himself to lie beside her, "What are you listening to?"

Her grin widened slightly, but she threw in a casual shrug that was anything but. "Just doing some research."

"Research?" he queried, shifting his eyes to the stars above. He was pretty sure where she was going, but still a little thrown off by the slight vibe of shyness she was putting off.

"Alexis lent me her iPod." she replied, "I've been listening to her most played file."

Castle released a quiet chuckle, "I'm surprised you haven't exploded from all the teenage angst that's been coursing through your ears."

"It's surprisingly eclectic and definitely not bad." His peripheral vision caught her movement and he rolled his head to the side to see her adjusting the headphones. With an eye roll that was far from top of her game, she offered him the other bud.

He took it with a shrug and scooted his head a little closer to eliminate the potential of tugging the headphones out of one of their ears if they moved at all. Slipping the bud in his ear, he was greeted with a soft bluesy melody that played out for several bars before a low smoky voice joined in perfectly with the music. The female singer seemed to have a voice that would suit a jazz band as well as it complemented the subtle country undertones of this song.

"This is a band that isn't mainstream yet." she informed him, pulling out her phone and navigating to a recent web search before passing it to him.

He was surprised that no one had picked them up yet, they were good. Reading through the brief bio on _Ocean's Deep_ he passed the phone back to her and cocked an eyebrow, because he could tell she was waiting for a response.

"You don't see the beauty of this?"

"It's a good song, but I'm not following wherever you're leading." he responded, realizing for the first time that he had never listened to music while he was up here before.

"I bet you could book them for the party." she suggested, excitement dancing in her eyes as she waited for his response.

He was more than a little surprised to have found her on the roof. Definitely intrigued that she had been listening to his daughter's favorite music. Mildly shocked that she'd taken the time to research who knows how many groups, out here were the cell signal was so slow their phones literally ran like they were on old school dial up networks. But he was blown away that she seemed excited to have spent the last few hours of their vacation, something he knew she didn't take enough of, doing something for his daughter.

He had stopped thinking about the party planning in order to relish the trip and have a good time, but it had never seemed too far from her mind the entire time they'd been there. The sudden thought that she was amazing was not a new revelation for him, so he let the feelings wash over him as he gave her a smile and then turned his attention back to the music in one ear and the stars above them. "It's definitely worth checking into."

x.x.x

A/N: Geez, that was harder than it had to be, and then flowed so easily that it got really long. I finally finished To Have and To Hold and was suddenly struck upside the head with inspiration this week so I've been trying to get the details of a new story planned out a little because it's going to be a major challenge to write. Add to that the fact that I've added long bike rides to my nightly routine and it leads to limited time for writing. Hopefully the next chapter will come more quickly.

Review that made my day: **Steely75**, for making me feel better about my addiction to reading and writing. Saying 'just a few more minutes' or 'one more chapter' until it's 2am is something I feel I'm alone in when it's that time of the morning, but apparently I'm not.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Kate had to almost physically restrain herself for disappearing back inside once she realized that Castle had come up on the roof. She had pulled the attic ladder up behind her in the hopes that he would assume she went to bed and do the same. It wasn't that she wanted to avoid him, but she wasn't going to delude herself that she was more than a little uncomfortable with the precedence they had set up here the previous night.

There was something about the night they had spent up on the roof that stuck with her and she hadn't been able to shake it for more than a few short minutes all day. The timber of his voice reciting favorite poems from her childhood echoed in her head. The peaceful sense of contentment that settled on her. The strange sense of awe that had blanketed her as thoroughly as the star covered night sky. It had all culminated to leave her feeling slightly off kilter all day.

It wasn't until she had ventured up here again that it all came into focus that it made sense and she understood that feeling that bubbled up inarticulately within her throughout the day. She would not have expected to see that side of him, never would have thought it existed if she hadn't been witness to it herself. She had always suspected that having Rick Castle in an undeniably romantic situation, even under such glaringly platonic conditions would have resulted in more than a little sexual innuendo. Instead, he had been a complete gentleman and she was left feeling as if she had been cast adrift in a vast sea of confusion.

She had admitted openly to herself that she didn't want that from him, but something about Castle having an opportunity and not taking it had left her with a vague sense of disappointment. It was a feeling she had not wanted to explore openly and as she lay back here in nearly the same spot as the night before, she felt as if she wouldn't be keeping those lingering thoughts at bay.

It hadn't helped that they'd spent the entire afternoon half naked and at some points in full physical contact. Still, besides his one failed and one successful attempt to throw her into the icy waters, he had maintained a level of control and distance. This odd turn of events had left her surprisingly annoyed and more than a little confused.

Even now, lying on the roof with soft music in her ear, his silence was a puzzle she just couldn't seem to work out. It was almost frustrating that he was so easy to brush off when he was being blatant, but something about his soft reassurances, reserved demeanor, and oddly relaxed countenance made him hard to ignore. She wasn't surprised to realize she had so clearly honed in on her own inner thought process that not even music playing directly into her ear canal had been registering.

It wasn't until the woman's slightly husky voice ran through the chorus a second time that the words permeated her concentration. Two songs later, they were still bouncing in her head on a seemingly uninterrupted repeat as she wondered at the implications of her current mindset on the events that were sure to unfold once they returned to reality.

She wondered at the ease at which she was impacted by such a statement and the implications of that on her mind once they were back in the real world.

"So, Beckett," His voice cut into her thoughts and, for once, she was grateful for the teasing light tone in his voice, that tone that said he was in a playful mood and about to say something entirely inappropriate. "I really would have pegged you for a bikini kind of girl."

She had just been thinking about how much easier his innuendo was to resist and then he had to go and prove her wrong. She knew his comment was made in jest, probably an attempt to lighten the mood from the quiet contemplation they had fallen into. Unfortunately, her mind still struggling with itself left her in a surprisingly open mindset. Her response, intended to be a return jab about a speedo or something, actually came out unfiltered, "Scars."

The single word popped out quietly into the night and she was surprised at herself enough to clamp her lip between her teeth and not elaborate. She heard the subtle shift in his breathing and knew from the sound of his clothing shifting and catching against the roof that he was having to physically restrain himself from a response.

"It's not really a big deal." she felt the need to reassure him, "More that I'm not a fan of answering a million questions about them and, you know, with Alexis and I'm sure she already worries about you enough." she was rambling, she knew she was, but couldn't seem to stop talking. Perhaps because she knew that he was aware her comments were a load of crap. "It's just that. . ."

His shift this time was not subtle and she turned her head to meet with his eyes, focused on her from his new position facing her on his side, a silent question clear even in the dim light. Subtle movement drew her eyes down to his hand hovering near her. She knew the question now, at least, even if she couldn't puzzle out the answer she should give.

She watched the hand, glinting a pale almost blue in the light of the moon, and it was a long moment before her eyes moved back up to meet his. The look in his eyes surprised her. It had been there a moment before, but subtle behind the question that was now gone as if he had resigned himself to her answer. This resignation, as if he were taking the question back entirely, left her slightly numbed. She was confused at herself again and getting damn tired of it.

Seemingly without her consent, her head moved just a bit, nodding her response to the question. His focus didn't leave her eyes as his hand slowly crept along the fabric of the hoody she wore, settling lightly on her abdomen and the part of her she had kept hidden in her bathing suit today.

It was entirely awkward, or at least it should have been. She recognized that it wasn't awkwardness but instead another kind of fluttering in her stomach as his fingers traced along the fabric. It was as if he thought he could find and trace those scars through the layers of material.

This was something that threw her off balance even more. She wasn't a self-conscious woman, extremely confident in her femininity and well more than aware of the affect her looks had on the men she'd been in relationships with. Still, there were things about her that she was always aware of. This was just one of them. She didn't consciously make the connection on most days because it wasn't an issue.

Kate knew well enough about this, however, that she'd specifically choose not only swimsuits, but attire in general based on the marks her life had left on her body. It wasn't that she was ashamed of them or thought the marks made her look ugly or disfigured, she was simply more interested in avoiding the stories. In situations where she was bare for another, those stories inevitably got shrugged off because she knew the power of them to kill the mood that was being set, but here, with Castle, knowing he had such a solid grasp of the darkness she faced every day, she didn't feel any of that need to hide.

In startling contrast to her normal inclination, she felt an opposite pull that was foreign and somewhat unsettling. Taking a breath to steel herself against the potential impact of her actions, she pointedly ignored the cautions ringing out in her head as she reached down. One of her hands tentatively covered his, her thumb slipping under and lifting his hand away as her other grasped the bottom of her borrowed sweater. Sliding the material up until she reached her shirt and grasping that as well.

She moved until a small segment of her skin was exposed to the cool night air and then she led his fingers to a small smooth line at the side of her stomach. She knew without hesitation where the three inch gash had been and now her memory and the smooth, slightly puckered, line across her skin were the only lasting effects. "Knife, second year on the force."

His fingers moved under her hand, gently smoothing along the wound from one side to the other and back again, flitting gently, but tentative in their mapping of the old injury. With extreme force of will, she moved her eyes from a distant start she hadn't realized she had taken such intense interest in, back to her right. Her eyes met his in the soft glow of the moon and that reverence and tenderness she had seen was still there. Not a hint of disgust or pity in his gaze, but she did note a subtle burning heat that she would probably classify as anger with a sprinkling of guilt.

For a moment, she didn't understand that expression. She didn't know if he was angry at her for spoiling some perfect picture he'd had in his head of her or perhaps the guilt was at his genuinely nosy disposition that always seemed to have her volunteering information. It wasn't until his soft voice drifted between them, barely rising above the music still floating into their ears, that she recognized the intent. "How?"

One simple word was all it took for understanding to dawn on her. He felt guilt for not having been there to prevent the hurt and anger at whomever had done that to her. "We all have our boneheaded mistakes, this was one of mine. It was a foot chase that took me down an alley. The suspect rounded a blind corner and I kept barreling after him. He was waiting for me right around the corner. Fortunately for me, he was more of a slasher than a stabber or I'd have bled out in the alley in a few minutes." the _just like my mom_ went unsaid, but his fingers tensed beneath her hand and against her skin.

Choosing to push that one aside, not dwell too long on it, she shifted his hand to a spot just above her belly button, showing him the jagged zigzag before releasing him to follow the path back down and up again, "Danny Seaver pushed me out of a tree in fourth grade."

Castle huffed, "I hope you punched him." he replied with good humor, but his fingers betrayed a different mindset as they ghosted carefully along every millimeter of the jagged scar.

"That's why he pushed me." she responded, grasping at the light hearted side, and letting out a chuckle. "He tried to kiss me, so I slugged him."

She relayed the details of the story, including her father's frantic driving to the emergency room for a couple of stitches. It felt good to laugh about something that she rarely ever thought about, aside from the lasting impression of the experience on her skin.

As the laughter died down, she led him across the far side of her abdomen. "First gunshot." she informed him, tracing the line along her side. It was slightly wider than her knife wound, a statement to the difference between the diameter of a bullet and the thickness of a blade. "It was just a graze, really, but it was all the evidence I needed to tell me I don't have any desire to take one full on."

She was almost surprised that Castle remained silent on this one. Over her appendectomy scars, however, he asked, "These are tiny." he responded with surprise. "I thought they sliced you open with a huge hole to get that thing out?"

"There's a laparoscopic surgery for it, too." she responded with a shrug, not realizing until just this moment that it was a story she didn't really have the inclination to go into. She tried to shift his hand to another spot, but he was reluctant to move and his eyes were questioning her even more heavily.

"When?" he asked simply and something about his expression left her certain he already knew the answer to that question.

"A couple of weeks after you left for the Hamptons last summer." she responded, trying not to weight the statement with any of her subtly lingering disappointments with him and herself for that time in their lives.

She pulled her eyes away from him again, the stars suddenly grabbing her attention back. It wasn't something she was terribly interested in reliving. All the lonely, quiet hours in a hospital bed, thinking about how Castle probably knew a million ways to entertain oneself when trapped in a hospital with no chance of escape.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." he responded, and the sincerity in his voice drew her back to him. His eyes betrayed a hint of shame and she smiled at him in reassurance.

"I'm not." she responded, allowing her smile to ratchet up just a notch. "It hurt to laugh for a week afterwards, the nurses would have kicked you out on day one."

His grin was only a small part for her humor, the rest seemed to be gratitude for her ease in letting him off the hook, though she could see his frustration still there as clear as before she'd reassured him. This time he let her pull his hand away.

She felt the pattern of his breathing change as she moved their hands higher, disappearing beneath the slightly raised shirt to brush across the bottom of her rib cage. She settled his hands against the speckling of small scars there and felt him exploring the shape of the scarred area. She had to admit, her own breathing was being disturbed by the sudden realization that his fingers were brushing warm trails across her skin.

She hadn't really considered that in the grand scheme of what she was doing here, perhaps that was a problem she would address angrily with herself a little later. Right now, she tried to ignore the fluttering that having his fingers brushing across her skin caused and focused once again on the purpose behind the exploration. As if that could even remotely discount what was actually happening.

She pulled herself back together long enough to relay the story about taking a broken beer bottle to that spot during a bar fight. She didn't come right out and say it, but he quickly deduced it hadn't been 'earned' in the line of duty and for what felt like the hundredth time this trip, she was relating another sad story of her family and her past.

It was the story of her painfully unsuccessful attempt to drag her father out of a bar at the wrong time. Looking back, it was probably the catalyst that actually got her dad into rehab. He didn't realize he'd been hurting her all along, but to have physically witnessed her being injured because she had come to drag him out of a place that she would never have gone to on her own, had been enlightening.

She pulled her hand away from his and back out of the shirt, signaling the end of their journey. She wasn't surprised when his fingers stayed, grazing over the spots where glass had been pulled from her. It was in that moment that the nagging in her brain was finally given enough room to breathe and it started screaming at her again.

There was something so incredibly wrong with lying beneath the stars, staring into his eyes and feeling the warmth of his touch across her bare skin. She almost laughed at herself, when the solution was to pull her gaze away from his eyes so she could focus again on the stars. She should have been pulling his touch from her skin, but the way he was carefully exploring the contrast between smooth scars and textured skin left her more inclined to leave him to his exploration.

As his fingers slipped back down, rejoining her chilled skin that was still exposed to the night air, she felt a moment of disappointment that had her shifting her eyes back to him as he raised up on an elbow beside her and looked down. She knew there was a decrease in visibility, thanks to the night that surrounded them, but she watched as his intense gaze took in that small swath of skin. A moment later, as his fingers brushed back up, slowly inching the sweater just a bit higher, her breath caught again.

She wondered briefly if this was the moment where he took everything and turned it back around to use as a pawn in getting her to let him push the envelope. She found herself extremely relieved and surprisingly disappointed, when he stopped again at the zigzag above her navel. "This one's my favorite." he responded with utter sincerity.

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "You really are morbid, aren't you?" she inquired rhetorically before she continued, "You seriously have a favorite scar?" the incredulity of her statement was clear, but he simple glanced back to her with a smile before dropping his gaze on the scar again.

"Not the scar, so much as the story." he responded and she fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Because it confirms your long held belief that I'm a tease?" she questioned lightly and watched as his eyes shifted back up to meet hers.

It was along silent moment of his gentle touch against her skin before the smile came back, subdued, but still better than such intense focus, "Because it's the only one that made you laugh." he responded and involuntarily, the observation caused another chuckle to escape her. She'd probably call it a nervous laugh if she were in her right mind, but somehow she had found herself so far out of her mind that she wouldn't be able to pin that name on her amusement if given a thesaurus. "That is seriously freaky." he commented suddenly, his smile turning a little lighter as his eyes sparkled down at her from the elevated level his propped elbow provided.

"What?" she asked hesitantly. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.

From the look on his face, he seemed reticent to provide it, but apparently in their newfound openness, he found a way to shrug even with the awkward positioning of his shoulders. "The way your muscles bunch when you laugh." he responded and she quirked an eyebrow, still waiting for an explanation that even came close to his use of the word 'freaky'. His fingers trailed along the scar again and then his palm settled in that spot, warm and solid against her skin. "It's like satin over granite." he mused and then looked as if he were concerned she might deck him as she had Danny Seaver.

She felt herself laugh again; the stricken look on his face was simply priceless. With a shake of her head at the silliness of her writer, she turned her gaze back to the sky and let her hand fall back down to rest over top of his. It was a long moment where she thought he might be contemplating the same bold move that boy in fourth grade had tried before he settled back down and shifted his focus back up to the stars as well.

She was starting to reach an understanding about this level of disappointment that permeated her thoughts the past few days and it was her turn to wonder if there was a moment where she could have done something differently. Her mind drifted back to those earlier lyrics and she started to thumb through Alexis' playlist again while she shifted to more directly face him.

It felt so cheesy and wrong to hit play in that moment, but as she watched Castle's eye snap to hers with a sparkle of hope and heat that melded oddly well in his eyes, she knew that despite her reluctance to have someone else speak for her, this, at least, would not bring that now familiar disappointment.

Castle managed to hold her gaze for several long seconds as if asking her whether she was really saying what he thought she might be. In the space of two lyrical lines he seemed to make up his mind and followed the subtle cues of Sugarland to 'jump in'.

The first brush of his lips against hers was like a flutter, so brief and tentative as if he still expected her to retaliate. Their breath mingled in the long seconds that he hovered right there, barely making contact and moving with such a delicate motion that at times she wondered if he was completely still against her.

She could feel the tension in the hand against her stomach, but he didn't betray it in his careful exploration of her lips.

_We could keep things just the same_

_Leave here the way we came_

_with nothing to lose_

_But I don't want to if you don't want to_

The song in her ears made Kate brave and she darted her tongue out to gently moisten both of their lips. His responding groan caused a tightening in the pit of her stomach. She didn't realize there was a physical manifestation of that reaction against his palm until he released a subtle gasp. She took advantage of the parting of his lips in that moment to deepen the kiss and, as he always seemed to do, Castle followed her.

x.x.x

A/N: First off, I apologize as it's after 1am and I have to work in six hours and still need sleep, so this didn't get nearly enough editing. If you find anything glaring, let me know so I can fix it. Thank you all for your patience on this side project of mine. I've been setting a slower pace with all that's going on in my life right now and I appreciate all of you for hanging in there as I make my way through this as painfully slowly as I have been. The song from this chapter is Sugarland, Want To, and is not the inspiration for this fic. That song will be revealed later.

Answers to your questions:

Some of you are wondering about the plot arc. Getting to Alexis' party in a semi-believable way is the goal of this fic. The challenge that was presented to inspire this fic had me puzzled on how to meet those points and the party is that goal.

Ocean's Deep is not a real band. It is based on my niece's name and embraces a generalization of a band my daughter, nieces and nephews are trying to start together.

S'mores are a campfire treat. The name is derived from the phrase 'Some More' as in I'll have some more, s'mores. It's a sandwich made from graham crackers, Hersey's chocolate bars, and roasted marshmallows. Personally, I don't understand the appeal, but it's an American classic and a tradition I could easily see Castle embracing with his penchant for sweets.

Review that made my day: **BlueJay**, I'm always very humbled to hear that the little bit of entertainment I provide all of you can sometimes make something difficult a little easier in your real life.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Lying on that roof with her felt like the passage of both minutes and a life time, as he became a quivering mass of textile sensations and overwrought nerves. Her trust in him as she relayed stories for each small mark her body bore was enough to force him to mindfully keep his hand from shaking.

She had graced him with a shocking level of trust and faith in him. So much that he didn't know how he had even managed to hold it together enough to get through it all. Her skin under his fingers was an odd culmination of his rich fantasy life, his intrinsic curiosity and his deep admiration of her strength. She had lived through more than most women ever would, but she was stronger than most of the men he knew. There was probably a correlation to be drawn there, but he had been too unfocused to find it in that moment.

If he had been surprised by her not only accepting, but encouraging his touch, her subtle hint at a question was enough to shock him. He'd heard that song a couple of times in the loft when Alexis was in control of the stereo, but it wasn't until he was lying on the roof beside her, with silence surrounding them and nothing to focus on but the night sky and soft lyrics in his ears, that he actually listened to the words. They had struck a chord with him. The thought of how closely it resembled his own feelings and desires towards Kate occupied his mind enough to hold his focus for entirely too long.

After he'd finished his exploration of Beckett's scars, he was surprised when the song they were listening to stopped in the middle to be changed back to the one that had haunted him while it played earlier. His mind was sent reeling with the implications of that selection while he searched Kate's expression for any indication that she had actually intended to select it.

His ability to read her had flown at the window long before, during his tactile exploration, but something seemed to pull him closer to her anyway. While the conscious part of his mind was certain that the change in music had been a mistake, some kind of slip of her fingers, the unconscious side of him took over, as if some unseen force guided his mouth to meet hers.

He couldn't ever remember a time when kissing someone had been such a sensuous act, but in that moment he could think of nothing that could even put words to what he was experiencing. He still found it hard to describe, even to himself, and he had been there.

When she responded to him instantly, with a smile he could feel against his lips, she confirmed the intentions in her action. That had been his last coherent thought for several of the longest most intoxicatingly seductive minutes of his life. The feel of her mouth against his, the subtle sounds she made and the taste of her in his mouth was drugging and while he had been lost to her long before that moment, he had never been so utterly gone.

It seemed a long moment of gentle caresses and deep soul-searing kisses later, that reality returned and he felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He cursed his hyperactive mind as he finally pulled his lips from hers to tug her into an embrace as he worked to calm his breathing and heart rate. He couldn't stop himself from dropping several light kisses against her hair as she rested against him with her head on his chest and her hand sprawled possessively across his stomach.

"Kate," he spoke her name desperately into the night, surprised at the emotion in his voice as he allowed himself another moment to breathe before he continued. "Just, give me a minute."

She lifted slowly up to look down on him with a questioning expression before she completely disregarded his request and moved to take his mouth again. He moaned at the feeling of her pressed so tightly against him as her mouth moved passionately against his. His mind short circuited again and he completely forgot why he had pulled away to begin with.

Her hand found the hem of his sweatshirt and dove beneath the material. Her hand had easily found his skin and sent it tingling and burning in the wake of her gentle caresses. He couldn't imagine a reason he'd ever want to stop this and could see this moment growing to be the eternity of his existence. His mind wondered at the changes this moment would bring and how having her as more than a partner at work would build an entirely new reality for them. It would not be an alteration or aberration of their current reality, no; something like this would alter their relationship on every level.

His thoughts finally returned to why he'd pulled away, just as he felt her rock softly against him and she released a deep moan to the silence of the night. His hands moved quickly, one stilling her hips, the other tunneling into her hair to gently pull her mouth away and move her enough to catch her eyes in the pale moonlight. "God, you're beautiful." he managed to pant out reverently and almost kicked himself for lack of originality. He was a writer, he could do better than that, but he could only speak the truth in that moment and his thoughts were less than eloquent. "We have to stop." he finally amended, garnering a teasing tilt of her lips.

"And you say _I'm_ a tease." she responded silkily, turning her head to brush her lips over the palm he had move to her cheek before turning her eyes back to meet his. "Why?" she asked when her joke didn't garner the expected result.

Castle laughed, but it was more nervous than genuine, "Give me a minute to scoop my thoughts off the roof and I'll probably remember."

She smirked then, teasing and slightly predatory, "Well, until you remember. . ." she trailed off as she leaned back into him, brushing her lips across his just the barest caress before he was holding her back again.

"Not helping." he informed her, but he couldn't stop the grin from forming on his lips at just the thought of her in such a light and playful mood. "We should go inside."

Even in the low light he could see her eyes dancing with a lightness they rarely held, "Worried about a little roof burn?"

It didn't take long for that thought to conjure images of exactly how one might get red, raw skin from stripping bare against the rough roofing tiles, but he blinked them away. "I'm going to start a fire." he began, distancing himself from her emotionally if unable to actually part with her physically at that moment. "Then we'll roast some marshmallows and you'll let me gather my thoughts enough to form coherent sentences again."

"Maybe," she teased, somehow breaking his grip to kiss him again, just a light fluttering of her lips on his until she pulled back enough to finish speaking. Each word vibrated through him from the warm wash of her breath against his slightly parted mouth, her lips moving against his own as she spoke and the rumble of her chest as she formed each sound into words. "Just maybe, I'm excited at the prospect of reducing the great novelist, Richard Castle, into a state of complete and total speechlessness."

He groaned and moved back to her kiss before forcing himself away. "I think you have successfully accomplished that goal and now it's my turn to accomplish something."

She had apparently noted the seriousness of his conditional statement as the teasing fell away. She seemed to pack this whole event up into some box deep inside herself as she finally moved away from him and stood up. He almost cursed at the mild hurt he saw in her eyes because he knew she thought she was getting the brushoff.

He knew it was probably a mistake to try and explain through a lust addled mind, but he didn't think she'd make it back inside before she'd swept this whole experience into a dark box somewhere. He didn't want her to pull away simply because of the perception that he was going to, so he leaned back into her, feeling her lips against his own and he swore he could feel it as that shell around her broke open again. "Kate, you probably have no idea how much I want this, how long I've waited for this moment." he started, watching the uncertainty fade and that natural curiosity sweep her features.

"You tried to get in my pants the second day you knew me." she responded, her tone light and teasing, just enough to let him know that she knew sex wasn't what he was talking about at all.

He smiled down at her, slightly frustrated with his stance on the incline of the roof, "I don't want any part of this to feel like a mistake." he informed her and then held up a hand to stop her protest as she opened her mouth, "I'm not saying that it would, but I want you to think about something for just a minute."

There was a long silence while he attempted to organize his thoughts when everything in him was screaming to kiss her again, pull her against him and take everything he had ever wanted. He watched as she shot his attention all the hell with a small teasing smile and a tilt of her head, "Was there anything specific you wanted me to think about or do I just stand here thinking about a random something?"

He chuckled, feeling suddenly nervous. "I just. . ." he squeezed his eyes closed and let out a heavy sigh. "I can't think when you look at me like that." he informed her, a hint of frustration in his words that she hopefully understood was directed at himself and not her. He laughed when her hands came up to touch his sides and his eyes opened again to glare at her in reprimand as he took her hands in his and turned her away from him. "You're not helping."

"I don't know what you're talking about." she responded with artificial innocence dripping from her tone.

"Listen," he replied, his arms coming around her from behind as he pulled her back against his chest and leaned down to whisper his statement across her ear. "If you don't stop teasing me, I'm going to take you right here on the roof and then we'll both be pissed about the friction burns."

Her chuckled was dark as if his challenge were some kind of treat she looked forward to. He shouldn't have been surprised when he felt her rock her hips back gently to rub herself against him. "Is that a promise?"

He groaned as he felt his self-control slipping away again. His mouth descended on the space behind her ear, dropping to work across her neck until the only sounds in the night were harsh breathing and the moist sounds of his mouth on her skin. He used a hand to guide her head to meet him in a kiss that was intoxicating in its ferocity. As soon as their lips met, tongues came out to dance together, teeth nipped and nibbled, each taking and giving in a hot passionate display of all they had reserved.

It seemed a long time later that he was finally able to pull himself away from her again. "Wait." he panted as he dropped his lips back to her neck. "We can't do this here."

"Here, as in the roof?" she asked, turning to face him, probably to get a read on his emotions behind the statement. 

"No," he explained as he cradled her head in his hands and kept the eye contact she had initiated. "Here as in on vacation." She didn't seem to have a response to that and simply tilted her head a little to ask for elaboration silently. "You know that feeling you get when you're away and the whole world seems so much bigger, everything feels different and you just know that your whole life is changed because you have this amazing new perspective?" he didn't wait for a response. "That's what vacations do to people, but when we go home and go back to our lives. . ." he trailed off, neither willing, nor apparently able, to put that statement to words.

"You think I'll change my mind?" she asked, her tone even and her expression not giving away her opinion on the subject at all.

He felt his gaze falter, slip from hers, because he couldn't read her anyway and something in him didn't want to recognize her agreement before she voiced it. It was a long silent moment before he felt her arms come up across his shoulder so her fingers could glide across the back of his neck and toy with the hair at his nape.

After a long moment, he raised his eyes back to hers and saw her understanding. "Ok." she responded simply with a subtle nod. "No further then." she agreed, sort of, with his statement, "But that doesn't mean we're going backwards and when we get home, you're going to teach me how to make that lasagna you brought over the other night."

He couldn't stop the grin at her subtle statement that she wasn't going to change when they went home. She was telling him clearly that she didn't believe this had anything to do with location and probably everything to do with timing, but with Kate Beckett, he was not willing to leave their moment to the slim possibility that reality would seem so much more real back in Manhattan. Forcing himself to avoid her seductive lips, he leaned into her and placed a gentle kiss against her forehead. "Thank you."

Somehow, they made it off the roof and quietly worked together to get a fire started. Once Castle had the kindling lit, he left her to tend the flames with larger pieces of wood. He tossed a bag of marshmallow her direction, glad for the forethought of possibly roasting them in the morning.

By the time he made it back to the living room, arms laden with blankets and pillows, she had already located the roasting sticks near the fireplace and preloaded two of them with a marshmallow a piece. "What are you doing with all that?" she asked as she turned to offer him one of the metal roasting sticks.

"Picnic." he offered with a shrug as he dumped his haul on the couch and proceeded to ignore the proffered treat while he laid out blankets in the space between the love seat and the fireplace before piling the pillows against the front of the couch and giving a dramatic bow with a flourishing wave of his arm.

She simply rolled her eyes at his ridiculousness, but smiled as he finally took his marshmallow and sat beside her on the hearth. He noticed that she had loaded the wood left of center in the fireplace and was going to suggest she throw another small log on to even things out when he saw the method to her madness. She carefully held her marshmallow on that side of the fire, allowing the heat to cook it to a golden brown as she slowly rotated it.

He watched her method for a long moment before he reached out with his own stick, shoving his marshmallow directly into the flames until it went up completely and he pulled it back to wait for it to finish charring to black crispy perfection.

"That's gross." she informed him, rotating her marshmallow again.

He smiled in response as he carefully pulled the charred skin off the treat and ate it happily, leaving the gooey center on his stick for a moment to cool before pulling it off with his teeth. "You don't know what you're missing."

Kate shook her head at him as if he were insane and went back to her intense focus, rotating the stick one last time. "The taste of char and smoke? Yeah, I think I have a clue." she informed him lightly as she pulled her golden brown marshmallow from the fireplace and inspected it a moment before carefully plucking it off the stick. "You, on the other hand, lack patience." she informed him as she offered him her treat.

Castle shook his head, "You go ahead."

Kate, however, was stubborn. "No, you need to try this right after your last one so you can provide a definitive statement on the difference in flavor profile." she offered, her tone proclaiming that she wasn't going to take no for an answer, but still with the same lightness she'd possessed the entirety of this evening.

Castle was the one to roll his eyes that time as he accepted her marshmallow, "Do I need to cleanse my pallet with some water first, Chef?" he teased.

"You might want to just to wash that burnt flavor out of your mouth, but that's a whole other story."

Castle scoffed, "I'll have you know," he started and took a bite of her toasted marshmallow as he gathered his thoughts into an appropriate statement fit for teasing her in their subtly shifting rapport. Instead of actually being able to come up with anything, he simply savored the sugary goodness on his tongue, "This is delicious." he informed her, taunt forgotten as he tried to run the numbers in his head.

"See, I told you." she smiled smugly, but he simply shook his head at her in disapproval.

"I didn't say it was better." Castle responded indignantly, "and even if it is, which I'm not saying it is, it's not five times better."

"I'm sure it's not, because it's probably more like fifty times better than eating something that feels like dirt on your tongue." she cocked her head to the side and shot him her best 'don't give me any crap' expression.

Castle shrugged, "Eh." he retorted noncommittally, "It's simple math, detective. See, if it takes five times as long for you to prepare it, then it would have to be five times as good in order to be worth the effort."

"How about if I add that you can't kiss me if you taste like burnt sugar and wood smoke?"

Castle laughed, "Wow, that's got to be a record. We aren't even officially anything yet and you're already threatening to withhold affection. You, Detective, play dirty."

She smirked and he almost swallowed his groan as she fixed a heated look his direction, "You haven't seen anything yet."

Ignoring her, because it was the only way he'd be surviving the night, Castle got off the hearth and fetched them glasses of water to wash down the sugar as she roasted two more marshmallows her way. Her efforts gave him time to grab a few other provisions before he came back to sit against the pillows in front of the couch.

Kate held the finished marshmallow out to him with the stick and then jabbed it into the coals to cook of the bits that were left behind. She followed suit with her own treat and metal roasting stick before pulling his out and clearing any debris before she settled it carefully in the rack beside the fireplace. She continued with her own and he was almost sad when she moved over to sit beside him, because he had enjoyed observing her and not feeling like the action might get him slapped. Kate settled beside him with a weary sigh and then took a long drink of ice water before she popped a finger in her mouth to suck the sticky remnants off the digit.

He almost groaned again and wondered how he could have gone so long with such control, but as soon as he got a green light he was raring to go at the drop of a hat. He took a moment to talk himself down as he reached across to feed the half of his remaining marshmallow to her. The woman was going to kill him. He was certain of it, as she took the treat from him and captured his finger as well, gently pulling it into her mouth and allowing her tongue to swipe up every bit of sugary goodness before releasing the digit back to him.

He had grabbed a bottle of wine, in case she wanted to have a glass before bed, but the tired look in her eyes spoke her disinterest in the gesture. Kate laid her head against his shoulder and they sat together, staring into the small fire, both apparently content with this new level of approved touching and allowed a comfortable silence to settle over them.

When he felt her start to drift off, he carefully led her down to the blankets he had laid out and adjusted so he could lie beside her. She seemed less interested in the pillows than she was in getting closer to him and he smiled again at what good fortune it was. He never would have believed that they would be here when two days ago he had been braced for the worst holiday weekend of all time. Instead, he was curled in front of a fire with Katherine Beckett curled against his side in a turn of events so radical he never would have been able to write it.

Castle relaxed into the pillows behind him enjoying the feeling of Kate's body snuggled against his side, her head resting on his chest. Her breathing evened out to signal sleep had finally claimed her. While he knew it was ridiculously late, or early depending on how one looked at it, he felt none of the familiar pull to follow her into sleep. Instead, he was certain he would be up for hours dissecting their night and hoping that everything had actually happened the way his tired mind was reminding him that it did.

x.x.x

A/N: Wow, I can't believe it's been a month since I updated this! I know I said it was a side project, but I'm a little ashamed to have let this go so long with nothing happening. I'm actually glad to see summer coming to a close. Not only does it mean it will start to cool down a little, but also with my daughter back in school and a regular schedule, maybe I'll get more writing done. I'll try not to let this go so long before the next update regardless of what's going on with my other story and my life.

On a related note, I will never leave a story unfinished. I hope it never goes this long again, and I can't promise that it will necessarily be timely since I do have another story in the works, but I will make more of an attempt to get back here more than once a month. Ridiculous. At this rate there wouldn't be a new chapter before the new Castle and that's just insane because it's still so long away. According to my widget, 24 days, 22 hours, 14 minutes and 52 seconds. Of course by the time I was done typing that it was wrong, and by the time you read it, whatever time zone you're in it will be way off, but that's not the point.

Review that made my day: **VACastleFan**, for amazing words of motivation and inspiration, not just about my work here, but about life in general. You are an inspiration to me to keep plugging along in writing and real life. Thank you. Oh, and if you do get fired because of me, I just found out they're hiring at my work, but you have to live in Spokane or Iowa, so that really only helps you find a replacement job if you're in one of those locations, but I'd put in a good word for you. Just brace yourself to put on weight because sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day is not the healthiest career choice.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Kate came awake slowly, the low light of a lamp off to her side provided the only light in the room as the fire had burned down to a low red glow of embers. She realized her position immediately, but it only took a moment to talk herself out of bolting for the bedroom.

Instead, she burrowed her face into his neck, smelling the remnants of sunblock beneath the heavier scent of wood smoke and feeling oddly comforted in the combination. It brought back memories of camping she had hidden behind the more quick to surface thoughts of pain or loss. That combination of scents resurrected the comfort of a time long past while also drawing her attention acutely to the man stroking her back.

The realization that his hand was moving in slow circles brought her head off his chest and her eyes up to meet his. "You're awake." she stated redundantly.

He gave her a sheepish smile, "Couldn't sleep." he replied with a shrug that lifted her slightly where she was lying against him.

The movement of his body beneath her, the subtle popping in his shoulder, the stretch of the muscles beneath her hand resting on his chest, all brought her focus back to where she was lying. It felt comfortable, like something they'd done a hundred times before this moment. "Well, apparently your restlessness is contagious."

His warm chuckle shook her gently as his eyes seemed to sparkle at her in the low light. "I think you give me credit when it was probably the hard wood floor."

Kate cocked an eyebrow and experimentally shifted, nuzzling her head back into him as she shifted her leg, finding it flung low over his thighs and shifting it up a little higher. She felt the subtle bite of the hardwood floor where her hip rested with too much of her weight focused on her hip bone, but it was bearable considering the rest. "Hmm, no. Comfy." she responded, eliciting another low chuckle from him with her lack of vocabulary.

"You're cute when you're sleepy." he responded lightly and then his fingers stopped moving against her back as if he thought better of the comment after it was out there between them.

"Just when I'm sleepy?" she asked and instantly felt him relax again as his fingers started to move against her back again.

"Hmm." he replied lightly as if he were actually giving her question careful consideration. "I don't know."

Kate slapped him playfully across the chest and wondered how they could get to this level of comfort and familiarity in such a short time. For a moment she thought it was probably more to do with her level of exhaustion, but when he let out an exaggerated, "Ouch." she knew better. This was Castle after all, someone who knew her better than just about anyone else in her life and she should have expected they would be comfortable even in an unusual situation together.

"You're such a baby." she responded, shaking her head where it rested which proved more difficult than she would have thought.

Castle huffed and retorted, "No. You're violent."

"I can show you violent if you want." she volunteered.

"Oh," he responded, almost nonchalant as his nose nuzzled the top of her head and his breath warmed her scalp, "I think there is a list about two miles wide of all the things I want you to show me, but violence is not on it."

She felt a shiver race through her from the combination of the tingle of warmth on her scalp, light brushes of his fingers down her spine and the innuendo in his completely unveiled statement. "I thought you wanted to take this slow?" she asked, but didn't wait for a response, "Because if that's your goal, you should probably stop saying things like that."

"Oh, why's that?" he asked casually, continuing the motion of his fingers and turning his head so his cheek moved against her hair.

Kate moved quickly, bracing herself with the hand on his chest until she was supported with her other elbow against the blanket by his shoulder. She shifted to lie more fully across the side of his body as she turned her face up to meet his. Her mouth claimed his in a demanding press of flesh. He opened his mouth on a surprised inhalation and she didn't wait for his reaction before slipping her tongue past his lips and taking possession of his mouth as if it belonged to her.

It was a short, but sweet, stretch of time later when she pulled her mouth away from his and settled back against him as she'd been before. "That's why." she replied, surprised and delighted with her casual tone, though she noted the way the front of his shirt was clenched tightly in her fist.

She could hear the racing of Castle's heart from where her ear was plastered against his chest, but after a moment he chuckled lightly. "Point taken."

They lay in silence for a long time, watching the red glow in the fireplace as the embers burned down to ash. Finally she broke the silence with a light sigh, "I'm feeling an extreme lack of interest in going home tomorrow." she admitted, not sure if it was the decreased inhibitions of the late night hour or the sense of comfort she felt as she lay in his arms, but she felt at peace with the admission.

"Worried about things changing or embracing the fact that you've finally relaxed?" he asked, his tone light, but underplayed with a nervousness that almost made her laugh. Only almost, because it was the same nervousness she felt with him over everything that had so quickly shifted.

"I haven't done this since before college." she admitted, wondering if he would understand.

"Which part?" he asked, his quiet voice washing over her.

"All of it." she confessed, reveling in the feeling of warmth and security she wasn't used to feeling. "I haven't actually vacationed and left the city in a long time, probably years and the last time I did was a night and day tacked on the end of an investigation that took me out of town."

"Well," he mentioned lightly and she was instantly on alert that he was about to issue another open ended invitation, "If you didn't have to use your days off doing practical things like catching up on sleep or apartment hunting, then maybe you'd get out of town a little more often."

She was grateful for the teasing in his tone until his comment registered, "Hey," she responded with mock indignation, "As I recall, it was your fault that I had to find another place to live."

"I don't even think so." he defended immediately, "I happen to recall offering to replace it."

"I wasn't going to live with you." she replied immediately dispelling his comment.

"Hmm, interesting choice of words there, seeing as I was referring to my offer to have your apartment replaced." he told her, his tone light and teasing. "However, we could refer back your choice of the word 'wasn't' as a past tense contraction used to possibly indicate a change in the present tense response to a question of a similar nature."

Kate poked him in the chest, just once, but firmly enough for him to let out a rather girlish squeal. "You're getting ahead of yourself considering you were just telling me you didn't think I'd last the drive home before I ditched you."

"Hey," he defended, "it wasn't an offer, I was merely asking for clarification."

"Well, don't. Your mouth is going to get you in trouble."

"Probably." he responded playfully as he took her hand from his chest and rolled to face her, dropping his head to run his lips over her jaw before descending on her neck.

Her first response was a quiet laugh as she tried to fight the ticklish response to the subtle scrape of his light stubble just below her jaw. It was quickly replaced with a sigh and followed with a whimper she would vehemently deny if he called her on it. "What are you doing?" she asked, trying for stern, but probably failing miserably short somewhere between the hand tightly grasping his hair and the tilt of her head to give him greater access.

"Waiting to wake up." he mumbled against her skin and it took her a moment to realize what he'd said.

Her hand in his hair gripped tightly as she gently, but firmly, pulled his mouth from her skin. She wanted to moan at the loss of contact, but she fought the urge as she guided him to a position where she could see him. As their eyes locked, she felt a familiar heat permeate her body at the intensity of his gaze. There was a heat in him that she hadn't seen even in the dim light on the roof earlier, but she didn't pounce on the desire. Kate released his hair and let her hand drift lazily down his neck, over his shoulder, slowly down the soft cotton covering the plains of his chest.

Kate almost got distracted in her exploration as she felt his muscles shifting beneath her touch. Rick's mouth parted slightly giving away his own reaction to her touch, but she didn't let it pull her away from her goal. As she reached his stomach, Kate let her fingers drift across the line of his ribs until she reached his side. There, just below his ribs, she struck, taking his skin between two fingers and pinching it tightly.

Castle let out a sound of protest as he yanked himself away from her touch and rolled to his back so quickly that his movement was followed by a loud thump. "What the hell?" he asked tightly as he pulled his arm up to cradle it against his chest as he rubbed his elbow.

"Guess you're awake." she replied lightly, fighting the smile she wanted to let bloom at his disgruntled look.

Rick continued rubbing his elbow as he grumbled sarcastically, "Apparently, hyperbole is out as a conversational method, if this is the reaction I get."

Kate couldn't help it as she did something that felt entirely foreign to her. She giggled. It couldn't have been a laugh or a chuckle and she wanted to cringe at the sound spilling from her. Instead, as she watched his look of mock indignation turned to a warm smile and an accompanying chuckle, she stopped trying to fight it and rode out the odd, but not unpleasant, feeling of happiness.

"I could get used to that." Castle remarked as she settled back against his chest.

Kate let her eyebrow creep up slowly, though the smile never fell away, "Violence?" she asked innocently.

Castle gave her a wry smile in return as his fingers crept up to brush across her lips and the expression softened. "This," he replied, "This smile. That laugh. It's different."

"Different?" she asked for clarification, not because she was confused, but because she knew it was something she'd want to hear and she wasn't running from it.

"Good different." he amended as if concerned she might think he meant something else, "Like rain on a hot summer night. It's something you didn't know you were missing until you experience it."

Kate groaned, but couldn't fight the little smile she hid against his chest as she settled into the cradle of his arms again, "I'm not seriously going to have to deal with symbolism and flowery prose now, am I?"

"Well," he replied, dragging out the word to its very limits, "that wasn't intentional prose. I could throw something together if you'd like."

His offer made her uneasy at the same time it left her in a state of anticipation because she knew this man. He wasn't the sugary type and anything he put together would probably be more sincere than sweet. "Maybe I _will_ be sick of you by tomorrow after all." she teased easily.

"I doubt it." Castle stated, apparently unconcerned.

Kate scoffed as if disbelieving as she propped her chin on her folded hands against his chest to look up at him with a little smile to make sure he knew she wasn't being serious. She was glad they could joke about what had made Castle hesitant just a few short hours before. "What makes you so sure about that?"

His responding smile was tired, but free of any hint of worry or negativity. "It's already tomorrow and you haven't run me off yet."

Kate shrugged against him. "There's still time."

"True, but I'll stick with my first impression."

"Hmm? What's that?" Kate asked, covering her mouth over a yawn.

Castle watched her for a moment, long enough to make her start to wonder if there was something wrong and then he shook his head as if coming out of a daze. "What's what?"

"Your first impression?" she supplied, surprised with her ability to maintain the conversation thread as he looked at her with such an unguarded expression.

"Of you? Oh, Detective, I think my first impression paled in comparison to reality."

"There's that prose again." Kate teased.

"Hardly." he replied gracing her with a teasing grin and she rolled her eyes preemptively at what she knew was coming as she saw the wheels spinning in his head as he mentally assembled what was likely over the top imagery. The gesture seemed to stop his mind in mid thought, "What?" he asked innocently.

"Shut up, Castle."

He laughed, warm and deep in his chest as she settled back against him. To her surprise, he listened and remained silent next to her. The beat of his heart and the gentle stroke of his hand across her back, imbued her with an almost overwhelming feeling of rightness tinged only slight with that ever present sense of the wait for something to go wrong.

Kate forced the thoughts away and focused on the man with her as she let the feel of his shallow breaths and careful caress lull her into a dreamless sleep.

x.x.x

A/N: Well, at least it wasn't a month this time, huh? Of course we're still on the first weekend of summer here and in real life summer is over, but oh well. That's fiction for you. I did make some time to work on this while I was at the river with all the kids and got some disgruntled looks from my sister for sitting on the shore and writing while the kids were jumping off the rocks and playing in the mud.

I have to get back to Your Last Day now; it's been prodding my brain for days as I tried to work on this. I need to keep this more current, but apparently it's harder to write when another story is trying to be pushy. I'll be back as soon as I can, hopefully not long.

Only a week until the season premier, my family is already tired of hearing about it.

Review that made my day: **raider1511**, you say "It's so very sweet and so very not you." Normally I would be confused on what that meant, but since you started with a thanks for updating and finished that you're looking forward to the next update, I'll assume it's a good thing in this case to be 'so very not me'.

Thanks to everyone for reading.


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